by Colin C. Tipping

Until these principles become firmly anchored in our minds our tendency is always to default to victim consciousness whenever our upset creates a lot of emotional turmoil. The problem is, once there, we tend to hang out there for a very long time. The way to stop this roller-coaster is to use the 4-step process before you have to book yourself a room in victimland! So, as soon as you find yourself getting upset over something, or even if you find yourself making judgments, feeling self-righteous or wanting to change something about a situation, use this process to bring your consciousness back into alignment with the principles of Radical Forgiveness.

This first step reminds us that we are the creators of our reality. However, we create circumstances for our own healing, so do not assume guilt for what happens. Being quick to judge, we often use this step as a way to beat ourselves up. We say, "Look what I have created. Oh, it's terrible -- I must be a terrible person, a spiritual failure." Please do not fall into this trap, for if you do, you buy into the illusion.

This step acknowledges that as humans we automatically attach a whole string of judgments, interpretations, questions, and beliefs to situations. Our task involves accepting the imperfection of our own humanity and loving ourselves for having these judgments, including the one that says we must be a spiritually-moribund person for creating this reality. Our judgments are part of ourselves, so we must love them as ourselves. This connects us with what actually is happening in our body and mind and brings us into the present through our feelings. Our energy then shifts quickly and allows us to go to the third and fourth steps of this process.

Step Three: "I am willing to see the perfection in the situation."

The willingness step represents the essential step in the Radical Forgiveness process. It equates to a prayerful surrendering in the moment to the Divine plan and the willingness to love ourselves for not being able to see this plan directly.

Step Four: "I choose the power of peace."

This fourth step represents a consequence of all the previous steps. By accepting that Divine purpose is served in this situation and that what appears to be occurring may be illusionary, we choose to feel peace and to use the power of peace in whatever actions are required of us. The power of peace is found when we are totally present in the moment, acting with clarity and focus to do whatever may be required and totally aware of our feelings.

Practice this four-step process as often as possible. Make it a part of your awareness. It gives you a way to be in the moment throughout your day. To help you make this your practice, it is a good idea to put these four steps on a business size card for your purse or wallet, or on a 3" x 5" card to keep in your car or on your refrigerator.

The 4-Step process is the tool that we use to help us stay out of victimland. When something `bad' happens we use the process in the moment to prevent ourselves from being pulled into the drama of what is happening so deep that we forget the truth. I will begin each step here with a brief explanation before going on to provide the kind of self-talk that a person might engage in during each of the four steps. (The self-talk is italicized).

Know that even as you read this the energy will be shifting. You may or may not feel it, but I guarantee that you will be contributing to the healing of the world by choosing to remain present to the process and to your feelings. Thank you for being willing to do so.

It is a spiritual principle -- adequately backed up by quantum physicists and other scientists I hasten to add -- that what occurs out there in the physical world is an outpicturing of our own consciousness. So when we say to ourselves, "look what I've created," we are opening up to the possibility that we had a hand in creating what is occurring and that it is for our own healing or spiritual growth. It is our first step in owning some measure of responsibility for what is happening in our own lives.

STEP # 2: "I see my judgments and love myself anyway!"

This step allows us to acknowledge and lovingly accept our humanness. As human beings, we will automatically attach a whole string of judgments and assessments about what happens out there. However, being aware of them allows us to stay conscious and serves to connect us with our feelings and our authentic selves.

STEP # 3: "I am willing to see the perfection in this."

This is where we allow ourselves to concede that even in this seemingly terrible event there might be some kind of divine perfection and that we might be able to see it if only we could see the entire picture. What we see and know is but a tiny fraction of all that there is to be known about it. Our spiritual sight is not yet sufficiently developed for us to be able to see the big picture (though I feel we might be close and that through this event it might occur). All we can do therefore, is to express a tiny amount of willingness to be open to the possibility that there might be a perfection in it. This really is the essence of Radical Forgiveness and constitutes the Radical Forgiveness Reframe.

However, I do wish to stress that this does NOT mean that we shouldn't be taking action to prevent such events from happening again, or from bringing those responsible to justice. We are here in the World of Humanity and we must act according to the rules of being human -- even if it means going to war. What is required of us however, is that we do it with awareness of what is truly real.

This happens as a consequence of going through the other three steps. It is the kind of peace that we feel once we become willing to surrender to the perfection in the situation. It gives us the kind of power to act in the world fully and with awareness, no matter what it is we are called to do. Even a soldier who carries the power of peace within will be infinitely more effective in carrying out his duties than one who does not. No matter what we are doing, so long as we bring the power of peace to it, we will be in a state of grace. From that place we can literally change the world.

That is the end of the process. It might only take a moment or two or, if you are feeling in a more contemplative mood, an hour or so. No matter how long it takes, the effect will be powerful and it will have an effect in the world. It is after all another form of prayer and prayers are always heard.

For that reason, I would suggest that you keep the prayers going by regularly doing worksheets on Osama bin Laden and on anyone else who brings up strong feelings in you. The power of prayer has been known for eons, but just recently scientific research has shown where the power really lies. It lies not in the words spoken or the thoughts projected. Rather, the power of a prayer lies in the extent to which we experience, in the actual moment of making the prayer, the same feelings we would feel if our prayers were answered. That's when the miracles happen!

Peace is what we want, of course, and many teachers and writers are quite rightly exhorting us to feel peace in our hearts as a way to heal the world. But how? It is not easy just to simply go to peace when in truth you are angry and fearful -- or even worse -- in denial. We need tools to help us do that and I trust you have experienced how this 4-Steps to Radical Forgiveness process works to bring us to that place of peace. It recognizes that getting to peace is a journey. We begin by acknowledging and accepting our less-than-peaceful feelings, thoughts and judgments and then come to a place of willingness to see a greater truth in what is occurring. Only then are we able to genuinely feel peace.

And let's be clear about this. Peace does not mean absence of war. It depends on no particular outcome. If we are attached to an outcome, we won't feel peace. Peace comes only when we are able to surrender to Spirit and to know that everything is in Divine order. I would therefore like to close with the Radical Forgiveness Invocation and ask you to hold it in your hearts.

May we all stand firm in the knowledge and comfort that all things are now, have always been and forever will be, in Divine order, unfolding according to a Divine plan.

And may we truly surrender to this truth, whether we understand it or not.

May we also ask for support in consciousness in feeling our connection with the Divine part of us, with everyone and with everything -- so that we can truly say and feel -- we are One.