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No Small Meetings
by Alan Cohen
How much is a kind word worth? How deeply can a touch heal? How important are
your little interactions with your family, friends, and clients?
Hairdresser David Wagner learned these answers from a customer who came to
him regularly every month. One day she phoned David in between her regular
visits and asked if he would style her hair for an important event that evening.
David fit her into his schedule and gave her his usual loving attention. He
talked amiably with her, laughed, touched her kindly, and told her how beautiful
she looked. After her session, she smiled and thanked him.
You can imagine David’s shock when a few days later he received a handwritten
letter from the woman explaining that the important event she wanted to look
good for that evening was her own funeral. She had planned to commit suicide
later that day. When she spent time with David, however, the kindness he showed
her influenced her to change her mind. She decided that life was worth living,
and she could go on.
This extraordinary feedback inspired David to reconsider what he was doing
with his work and his life. He realized that his purpose with customers went far
beyond cutting hair. Within his own sphere of influence he had the power to make
people’s days - and even lives. So he adopted the vocation of "Daymaker." Now,
as owner of ten successful spas that treat thousands of people each day, David
teaches his employees to see themselves as daymakers. His inspiring book
Life
as a Daymaker chronicles his adventures and techniques.
Never underestimate the power of a kind word or thought. It may affect one or
many, many people without you even knowing it. Even a gentle touch can make a
huge difference.
My friend Rick Jarrow was participating in an intensive Zen meditation
retreat that required him to meditate many hours a day in rigorous conditions.
One morning Rick decided this was just too hard, and he would leave the retreat
after the morning silent walking meditation practice. During the walk, a student
behind Rick gently placed his hand on Rick’s shoulder. "In that touch," Rick
told me, "I felt totally comforted and encouraged. It was as if my friend was
saying, ‘I know this is hard for you. I believe in you. You have what it takes
to do this.’ So I decided to stay, and I went on to gain tremendous strength
from that retreat. That touch was the turning point."
You don’t even need to speak or touch someone to help them. You can serve
simply by the energy of your being. Emerson noted, "Who you are speaks to me so
loudly that I can hardly hear what you are saying." Indeed at every moment we
radiate empowerment or discouragement simply by the feelings we dwell in.
One day while I was standing in line at a deli counter, I noticed a woman in
a line beside mine. She kept looking at me as if she knew me. I didn’t recognize
her, so I just kept moving ahead. When we finally arrived at the counter at the
same time, the woman turned to me and asked, "Why are you so happy?" Her
question took me by surprise. I wasn’t thinking about being happy or even
trying. "I guess I’m just glad to be here and alive," I answered. "How about
you?" I asked her. "How is your day going?"
She thought for a moment and then answered, "Well, it wasn’t going so well.
But now that I saw you, I feel a lot better." With that, we both smiled and went
on our ways. As I thought more about her comment, I realized it was the most
meaningful compliment I could ever receive. Just being was healing.
I have experienced such healing simply by seeing a peaceful person for a
moment. One day I was rushing through an airport when I noticed a man who looked
unusually serene. His face was soft, his gait was light, and his demeanor felt
comforting. In that moment my energy shifted from anxious hurry to deep peace.
Though he will never know it, he taught me that airports are not necessarily
stressful. Stressful thoughts are more dangerous than airports. If we choose
healing thoughts, we become a beacon of peace in apparently dense or dark
places.
A friend went to pick up a revered rabbi from the airport. As the two drove
toward the tollbooths to exit the airport parking lot, my friend had to choose
between an automatic payment lane and a lane manned by an attendant. "Take the
lane where you pay a person," the rabbi urged him. "Why is that?" asked my
friend. "Because any opportunity to make contact with another human being is a
blessing from God," answered the rabbi.
In this light, every one of our interactions is a prayer. There are no chance
encounters and no small meetings. Everyone we meet is sent to us by God for a
noble purpose. Every relationship, no matter how brief, is an invitation to
connect. As we remember to keep love first, we have our priorities in order and
we might even save someone’s life -- beginning with our own.
About The
Author
Alan
Cohen is the author of many popular inspirational books, including the
best-selling
Why Your Life Sucks and What You Can do About It, the award-winning
A Deep Breath of Life, and his latest book
Mr. Everit’s Secret--What I learned from the
World’s Richest Man.
(The above books can be ordered by clicking on the book titles.)
Alan offers four on-line courses throughout
the year and the
life-transforming Mastery Training in Maui. For
information on these programs and a free catalog of Alan's books,
tapes, and seminars, phone 800.568.3079, visit
www.alancohen.com, email info@alancohen.com,
or write P.O. Box 835, Haiku, HI 96708.
More
articles by this author.
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