 HOW
TO CHANGE
by
Louise L. Hay
“I cross bridges with joy and
with ease.”
I love “how to’s.” All the
theory in the world is useless unless we know how to
apply it and make a change. I have always been a very
pragmatic, practical person with a great need to know
how to do things.
The principles we will be working
with at this time are:
-
Nurturing the willingness to let
go
-
Controlling the mind, and
-
Learning how forgiveness of self
and others releases us.
Releasing
the Need
Sometimes when we try to release a
pattern, the whole situation seems to get worse for a
while. This is not a bad thing. It is a sign that the
situation is beginning to move. Our affirmations are
working, and we need to keep going.
Examples:
-
We are working on increasing
prosperity, and we lose our wallet.
-
We are working on improving our
relationships, and we have a fight.
-
We are working on becoming
healthy, and we catch a cold.
-
We are working on expressing our
creative talents and abilities, and we get fired.
Sometimes the problem moves in a
different direction, and we begin to see and understand
more. For example, let’s assume you are trying to give
up smoking and you are saying, "I am willing
to release the need for cigarettes."
As you continue to do this, you
notice your relationships becoming more uncomfortable.
Don't despair, this is a sign of the process working.
You might ask yourself a series of
questions like: Am I willing to give up uncomfortable
relationships? Were my cigarettes creating a smoke
screen so I wouldn't see how uncomfortable these
relationships are? Why am I creating these
relationships?
You notice the cigarettes are only a
symptom and not a cause. Now you are developing insight
and understanding that will set you free.
You begin to say, "I am willing
to release the need for uncomfortable
relationships."
Then you notice the reason you’re
so uncomfortable is that other people always seem to be
criticizing you.
Being aware that we always create all
of our experiences, you now begin to say, "I am
willing to release the need to be
criticized."
You then think about criticism, and
you realize that as a child you received a lot of
criticism. That little kid inside of you only feels at
home when it is being criticized. Your way of hiding
from this had been to create a "smoke
screen".
Perhaps you see the next step as
affirming, "I am willing to forgive..."
As you continue to do your
affirmations, you may find that cigarettes no longer
attract you, and the people in your life no longer
criticize you. Then you know you have released
your need.
This usually takes a little while to
work out. If you are gently persistent and are willing
to give yourself a few quiet moments each day to reflect
on your process of change, you will get the answers. The
Intelligence within you is the same Intelligence that
created this entire planet. Trust your Inner Guidance to
reveal to you whatever it is you need to know.
Exercise:
Releasing the Need
In a workshop situation, I would
have you do this exercise with a partner. However, you
can do it equally as well using a mirror, a big one,
if possible.
Think for a moment about something
in your life you want to change. Go to the mirror and
look into your eyes and say out loud, “I now realize
that I have created this condition, and I am now
willing to release the pattern in my consciousness
that is responsible for this condition.” Say it
several times, with feeling.
If you were with a partner, I would
have your partner tell you if he really thought you
meant it. I would want you to convince your partner.
Ask yourself if you really mean it. Convince yourself
in the mirror that this time you are ready to step out
of the bondage of the past.
At this point many people get
scared because they don't know HOW to do this
releasing. They are afraid to commit themselves until
they know all the answers. It's only more resistance.
Just pass through it. One of the great things is that
we do not have to know how. All we need is to be
willing. The Universal Intelligence or your
subconscious mind will figure out the hows. Every
thought you think and every word you speak is being
responded to, and the point of power is in this
moment. The thoughts you are thinking and the words
you are declaring at this moment are creating your
future.
Your
Mind Is a Tool
You are much more than your mind. You
may think that your mind is running the show, but that
is only because you have trained your mind to think in
this way. You can also untrain and retrain this tool of
yours.
Your mind is a tool for you to use in
any way you wish. The way you now use your mind is only
a habit, and habits, any habits, can be changed if we
want to do so, or even if we only know it is possible to
do so.
Quiet the chatter of your mind for a
moment, and really think about this concept: YOUR MIND
IS A TOOL YOU CAN CHOOSE TO USE ANY WAY YOU WISH.
The thoughts you "choose"
to think create the experiences you have. If you believe
that it is hard or difficult to change a habit or a
thought, then your choice of this thought will make it
true for you. If you would choose to think, "It is
becoming easier for me to make changes", then your
choice of this thought will make that true for
you.
Controlling
the Mind
There is an incredible power and
intelligence within you that is constantly responding to
your thoughts and words. As you learn to control your
mind by the conscious choice of thoughts, you align
yourself with this power.
Do not think that your mind is in
control. You are in control of your mind. You
use your mind. You can stop thinking those old
thoughts.
When your old thinking tries to come
back and say, “It’s so hard to change,” take
mental control. Say to your mind, “I now choose to
believe it is becoming easier for me to make changes.”
You may have to have this conversation with your mind
several times for it to acknowledge that you are in
control and that what you say goes.
The
Only Thing You Ever Have Any Control of Is Your Current
Thought
Your old thoughts are gone; there is
nothing you can do about them except live out the
experiences they caused. Your current thought, the one
you are thinking right now, is totally under your
control.
Example:
If you have a little child who has
been allowed to stay up as late as she wishes for a long
time, and then you make a decision that you now want
this child to go to bed at 8:00 every night, what do you
think the first night will be like?
The child will rebel against this new
rule and may kick and scream and do her best to stay out
of bed. If you relent at this time, the child wins and
will try to control you forever.
However, if you calmly stick to your
decision and firmly insist that this is the new bedtime,
the rebellion will lessen. In two or three nights, the
new routine will be established.
It is the same thing with your mind.
Of course it will rebel at first. It does not want to be
retrained. But you are in control, and if you stay
focused and firm, in a very short time the new way of
thinking will be established. And you will feel so good
to realize that you are not a helpless victim of your
own thoughts, but rather a master of your own mind.
Exercise:
Letting Go
As you read this, take a deep
breath, and as you exhale, allow all the tension to
leave your body. Let your scalp and your forehead and
your face relax. Your head does not need to be tense
in order for you to read. Let your tongue and your
throat and your shoulders relax. You can hold a book
with relaxed arms and hands. Do that now. Let your
back and your abdomen and your pelvis relax. Let your
breathing be at peace as you relax your legs and
feet.
Is there a big change in your body
since you began the previous paragraph? Notice how
much you hold on. If you are doing it with your body,
then you are doing it with your mind.
In this relaxed, comfortable
position, say to yourself, “I am willing to let go.
I release. I let go. I release all tension. I release
all fear. I release all anger. I release all guilt. I
release all sadness. I let go of all old limitations.
I let go, and I am at peace. I am at peace with
myself. I am at peace with the process of life. I am
safe.”
Go over this exercise two or three
times. Feel the ease of letting go. Repeat it
whenever you feel thoughts of difficulty coming up. It
takes a little practice for the routine to become a part
of you.
When you put yourself into this
peaceful state first, it becomes easy for your
affirmations to take hold. You become open and receptive
to them. There is no need to struggle or stress or
strain. Just relax and think the appropriate thoughts.
Yes, it is this easy.
Physical
Releasing
Sometimes we need to experience a
physical letting go. Experiences and emotions can get
locked in the body. Screaming in the car with all the
windows rolled up can be very releasing if we have been
stifling our verbal expression. Beating the bed or
kicking pillows is a harmless way to release pent-up
anger, as is playing tennis or running.
Awhile ago, I had a pain in my
shoulder for a day or two. I tried to ignore it, but it
wouldn’t go away. Finally, I sat down and asked
myself, “What is happening here? What am I
feeling?”
I realized, “It feels like burning.
Burning... burning... that means anger. What are you
angry about?”
I couldn’t think of what I was
angry about, so I said, “Well, let’s see if we can
find out.” I put two large pillows on the bed and
began to hit them with a lot of energy.
After about twelve hits, I realized
exactly what I was angry about. It was so clear. So I
beat the pillows even harder and made some noise and
released the emotions from my body. When I got through,
I felt much better, and the next day my shoulder was
fine.
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