|
A True Perfectionist
by Alan Cohen
A friend of mine declared,
"I used to think I was a perfectionist. I found the tiniest flaws in
everything. Then I realized I was not a perfectionist at all; I was an
imperfectionist! If I was a perfectionist, I would see perfection wherever I
look."
The life we experience is the
product of the vision we use to interpret events. At any moment we can see
through the eyes of appreciation or criticism. And we will see more of whatever
we are focusing on. We master the game of life by finding good wherever we look.
And there is much good to be found.
While having lunch with some
business associates at an upscale restaurant, one of our party asked the waiter
for an unusual dish not on the menu. The waiter replied that he would ask the
chef to accommodate the request. Then another member of our group sarcastically
commented, "I’ll bet that will just tweak the chef’s day!"
But the waiter did not flinch.
"Actually," he replied smoothly, "I’m sure he will be glad to
accommodate you -- this gives him a chance to shine."
Every situation gives us a
chance to shine, if we recognize our power as creative spirits. No situation is
any one way, except what we make it. You can make anything out of anything. So
why not make it perfect?
The story is told about a man
who was walking along a city street when a flower pot fell off a sill above him
and crashed at his feet, missing him by inches. There are four paths of response
the man might take. First, the path of knee-jerk reaction: he would yell a curse
toward the window or perhaps dash up the stairs, find the owner, and punch him
out. Second, the path of the victim: this experience would confirm his belief
that the world is out to get him, and he would go about the rest of his day
protecting himself from evil, retelling his story many times. Third, the path of
detachment: he would rationalize that this was his karma, do nothing, and just
keep walking. Finally, the path of love: he would go to the flower store on the
corner, buy a new plant, and deliver it to the person whose plant had been blown
off the sill by the wind.
Shakespeare declared,
"There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so." We see the
world not as it is, but as we are. Changing the world is not about setting it
right, but seeing it right. If you believe the world is broken and you
need to fix it, you will find more and more things broken. If you see the world
as whole and beautiful, you will find more and more things to celebrate.
Ram Dass noted there are three
kinds of people: those who say, "not enough!"; those who say,
"too much!"; and those who say, "ah, just right!" Actually,
there are just two kinds of people, for "too much" of one thing is
really "not enough" of another. We are continuously choosing between
affirmation and resistance.
Does seeing perfection mean we
are to simply be passive observers and sit around and do nothing? Not at all.
Perfection includes the process of changing, growing, expanding, improving, and
moving ahead. But our actions to improve do not proceed from an attitude of
pushing against lack. They proceed from a sense that things are already good,
and wouldn’t it be a delightful adventure to make them better? The true
perfectionist creates effective change by seeing the highest possibilities and
becoming so excited about them, that conditions must rise to match the vision.
Several years ago while I was
walking through the Los Angeles airport, I felt annoyed by the massive
construction going on. I saw ugly makeshift plywood walls to my left and right,
a maze of paint-laden scaffolds, and long winding detours to baggage claim. I
grumbled to myself about what a mess the place was, and how long it was taking
to fix it. Then I discovered a sign that stopped me in my tracks. It was an
artist’s rendering of what the airport would look like when the construction
was complete. It was magnificent! The glass atrium roofs, sleek marbled
corridors, and potted palms were a delight to behold -- a far cry from the
current mess. Then I relaxed. If that is what this is leading to, I thought,
then I am glad they are doing it. When I dropped my resistance, I enjoyed the
process, including the construction phase.
The entire universe is in a
construction phase, never totally complete as it is, but always perfect as it
unfolds. When you appreciate the beauty as you go, you become a true
perfectionist.
Read
and/or share comments about this article.
Previous columns
& articles by Alan Cohen.
|
