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The Proper Plate
by Alan Cohen
When Rev. Roger Teel, minister of the Mile Hi Church of Religious Science in
Denver, was a shy and awkward-feeling high school senior, his father encouraged
him to take a date to the senior prom. Roger’s dad even offered to underwrite
a corsage for a young lady and dinner at a fine restaurant. Nervously, young
Roger asked one of his classmates to the prom, and to his happy surprise, she
accepted.
Finally the big night came and Roger picked up the girl at her home. She
looked ravishing! He took one look at her bare shoulders graced by a
spaghetti-strap dress, and his knees grew weak. Somehow Roger maintained his
decorum and the two drove to the restaurant, staring straight ahead, speaking
hardly a word. Apparently the girl was as nervous as he was!
At the restaurant, the young lady ordered scallops and Roger ordered a steak.
When the entrées arrived, Roger, still feeling uptight, reached to cut his
steak, and something horrible happened: his knife slipped and the steak flew off
the plate, right past his date’s spaghetti-strapped shoulder, and onto the
floor! (It was one of those events one watches in slow motion, with just enough
time to think, "I can’t believe this is really happening!") Young
Roger, of course, felt completely mortified, at an utter loss about what to say.
Here he is on his first big date with a knockout babe, and he blew it right out
of the chute!
Before he could think of what to say, the maitre d’, who had watched the
entire episode, dashed to the table. "I am so sorry, sir," he blurted
out, terribly apologetically, with the errant beef, now napkin-covered, in hand.
"The chef placed your entrée on the wrong kind of plate. It would have
slipped out of anyone’s hands. Please accept my apology. I’ll get a
replacement for you immediately." A few minutes later a waiter returned
with a new steak ¾ on a different colored plate ¾
and made a big deal about the order now being on the appropriate "steak
plate."
There was, of course, no problem with the original plate; it was a perfect
steak plate. The maitre d’, you see, was a perfect angel. The man had a keen
eye and a huge heart. He saved Roger’s date and his honor. As Roger left the
restaurant, the maitre d’ flashed him a kind and wise smile.
When I heard this story, I stopped in my tracks. What a powerful model for
compassion in action! I pray that I might be so sensitive to support others in
their sense of well-being and transform potentially painful situations with a
stroke of kindness.
Here we are in the Christmas season. More than anything else, Jesus stood for
compassion and forgiveness. He used every opportunity to remind people that they
were whole and loved, and that the spiritual path was not about underscoring
sin, but remembering innocence.
Every year I become a bit less interested in the social aspects of the
holiday season and more interested in its spiritual poignancy. Every year I buy
a few less gifts and seek more to be a gift. I don’t want any more stuff; I
just want connection.
One man who lived the spirit of the holiday was Jay Frankston, a Jewish man
who wanted more meaning in his life. One December Jay went to the mother of all
post offices, the one on 34th Street in New York City, where he
picked through the letters that children had written to Santa Claus at the North
Pole. Jay became so inspired by these children’s touching requests for things
beyond toys that he decided to play Santa Claus and deliver gifts to these kids
in poor sections of town.
Jay chronicles his adventures in his book, A
Christmas Story, A True Story. I cry every time I read this account ¾
it is right up there with the flying-steak-returning-waiter. (You can find the
book at Amazon.com; it is listed as appropriate for ages 4-8, but don’t
believe a word of that. Adults need this book a lot more than kids.) Okay, so
maybe I will buy some gifts this holiday ¾ I’ll
give my friends Jay’s book.
Someone asked, "Why become a Buddhist when you can be the Buddha?"
At this holiday time we might ask some similar questions: "Why become a
Christian when you can be an expression of the Christ?" or "Why be
Jewish when you can recognize yourself to be one with the great I Am?" or
"Why write a letter to Santa when you can be Santa?"
We are prone to seek salvation from someone out there, when meanwhile we are
the salvation we seek. Perhaps the most cogent statement about how we give our
power away came from former child movie star Shirley Temple Black, who reported,
"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to
see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."
Our roles in the play of compassion often reverse; sometimes we are the
vulnerable kid knocking the steak off the plate and sometimes we are the
observant maitre d’ swooping in for the save. My guess is that the more we can
practice being the kind maitre d’ for others, the easier it will be for
ourselves the next time our steak flies over our date’s shoulders.
About The
Author
Alan
Cohen is the author of many popular inspirational books, including the
best-selling
Why Your Life Sucks and What You Can do About It, the award-winning
A Deep Breath of Life, and his latest book
Mr. Everit’s Secret--What I learned from the
World’s Richest Man.
(The above books can be ordered by clicking on the book titles.)
Alan offers four on-line courses throughout
the year and the
life-transforming Mastery Training in Maui. For
information on these programs and a free catalog of Alan's books,
tapes, and seminars, phone 800.568.3079, visit
www.alancohen.com, email info@alancohen.com,
or write P.O. Box 835, Haiku, HI 96708.
More
articles by this author.
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