On one occasion, a dispute arose with a musician over working credits for a song of Jewel's. Jewel had requested, from the start, that the two of them share the credit equally. The work was completed before a contract was actually signed, which is common in this business. After the work, but during the contract process, the musician requested sole credit. Jewel felt the contribution of each was equal and she wanted the credit line to reflect that.

The industry attorneys typically handle this type of negotiation, so the matter went back and forth between lawyers for a time without good result, growing more polarized. I finally contacted the manager of the other party and suggested a personal meeting between the manager, his artist, and myself. This is unusual and they were hesitant but reluctantly agreed when I told them I simply wanted to have a more complete exchange of the history, feelings, needs, and reasoning of each party.

When we met in a New York hotel room, their trepidation was high. So I began with a calm and humorous overview. My tone and lack of tension helped place us on less volatile ground, dulcifying the atmosphere between us. I asked them to tell me everything they could to shed light on the process. They were initially defensive and their statements involved a lot of the typical "case building" and accusation. After listening, questioning, and understanding them thoroughly I suggested that we mildly debate the various points in the spirit of our mutual interest in working together again. They agreed and we spent some time going back and forth over the divergent points and history.

Following that, I asked for two or three minutes of quiet for us to consider where we were now. They were partially relieved yet somewhat uncomfortable with the idea of silence and were rather fidgety during the five minutes or so that I sat staring out the window, pondering. As I reviewed, I considered the following:

• It was apparent to me that our own communication at the start was unclear and incomplete, resulting in some of the problem.
• They had no contractual recourse, so legally we were not under obligation.
• Several of the points held by each of us could not be resolved; only our separate and conflicting ting experiences, opinions, and desires supported them.
• The credit meant far more to the other artist as a career builder than it did to Jewel. It was an important career step for them.
• Jewel had nothing at risk and she would have many future opportunities to receive credit.

I shared my thoughts with them and said that the decision seemed not to rest on the history of the matter but rather on what was timely and just in the career of both artists. It seemed to me that from that point of view the right thing was for the other artist to receive the full credit.

They expressed surprise and gratitude to be recognized in this way. Following the spirit of our gesture, they offered to share a joint credit with Jewel on another point that was clearly theirs. This was a nice surprise for all of us. Most heartening, however, was the shift in the energy. I've learned that, in most circumstances, when people are treated with grace, dignity, and fairness, they respond in kind.

Justice and wisdom, as values that inform our methods, have nearly disappeared in many areas of our culture. For instance, information is accessed far more frequently than wisdom. Wisdom, with its combination of experience and the ability to access that deeper knowing, is a vital quality. The lack of it is a great deficit to our society and our personal process. For each one of us can access wisdom and justice within us by forging our connection with the Infinite Source.

The consideration of justice in individual or corporate matters is as rare, and significant, a loss. We can seek wisdom and infuse a sense of justice into all of our interactions and especially our problem solving. To move beyond the difficulties facing our world, both wisdom and justice can and must be brought to the table in all negotiations and interactions. More people of wisdom are needed to step forward and fulfill an obligation to contribute solutions to the difficulties we face in all disciplines: in local, national, and global politics, finance, environment, science, and business. Public officials, educators, business, and other leaders who serve only public opinion without bringing a higher wisdom to bear cannot truly serve the public good.

Compassion, tolerance, and nonjudgment are values I advocate at Mani. They bring temperance to a situation, elevating it above the level of personal agendas and egos. Contrary to common belief, they cost very little and net much. The idea that we understand one another at the expense of our own goals is absolutely false. It is time that we begin to be courageous in this respect.

The key is in holding, indeed valuing, all parts of the picture as necessary to the whole. Others' agendas are of value to them, mine to me. In the area of agenda, it is an even playing field. Not judging theirs or my own keeps me focused on assessing what my needs are, my values, and whether the situation is suitable for me to meet those aims or whether I need to seek another situation.

Even when taking a stand for or against something, the matter can be held in tolerance and nonjudgment. Anything else is futile. The amount of judgment in our lives is a grave factor in creating our current situations. Intolerant and damning views serve only to impossibly polarize positions.

-- Conrad Hilton

-- Lee Iacocca

On one occasion we were working a very lucrative arrangement with a dot-com company. All had gone exceptionally well -- it promised to be very rewarding financially for us and we had a great humanitarian project worked into the deal. We liked the company as well as its people very much. We were close to our final agreement when a few "hitches" came up. The problems, primarily, were internal issues within the other company that seemed to affect our agreement. It appeared that some time would be needed to resolve the issues.

As I stepped back to observe this I noticed that I had some new feelings of unease. I could not pinpoint the cause of them; everything seemed in good order. Still, the feelings persisted and the delays continued. Then, during a conference call, I surprised everyone including myself by pulling out of the deal, saying, however, that I was open to being approached at another time when their internal matters were resolved. My team, disappointed that months of work seemed to have come to naught, queried me about the sudden decision. I replied that I felt certain it was the right thing to do, but could not explain fully. It was a strong intuition. Just a few weeks later the technology stock market crumbled and the entire dot-com landscape was imperiled. Had I not followed my intuition we would have been very negatively impacted.

To access intuition, it helps to slow down. In our dealings we generally operate at a very fast pace. Our breath then is usually shallow and rapid. Movement, breath, and thought are all connected. When we slow down and breathe more deeply it slows our thoughts enough to override our chattering and often circular mental process and assumptions. We can then hear the quiet voice of inner wisdom. It is there for all of us if we value it and prioritize opportunity for it.

Intuition is grounded in a deep knowingness. In it is a certainty. There is the certainty of the ego and there is the certainty of the soul. The first is subject to our entire melange of agendas, fears, hopes, desires, beliefs. The second issues forth from the Infinite Intelligence as it expresses in our personal circumstances. Learning to sort out the ego's voice and hear the soul's is the challenge.

An executive at Atlantic Records said of me in an interview, "When we first met, she seemed to have an uncanny certainty about Jewel's career." That certainty stemmed from the day, when on the beach in San Diego, Jewel understood what she wanted to do and her purpose for doing it. At that time, we had an epiphany in which we "knew" that we would work together to create a platform for good in the world. In that moment I "saw" the path before us, and its outcome. It was from that certainty that I worked; I felt absolutely assured of the outcome. That certainty of vision and purpose becomes a compelling individual prime wave that reverberates back with a resounding "Yes" from the Source.

-- Alexander Graham Bell

-- Jonas Salk

Practicing peaceful means is another company value -- "being" peace in our interactions. Being peace doesn't mean simply giving in or giving up or always "making nice." It has far more to do with balance, courage, thoughtful action, stillness, self-assessment, preparedness, and patience. It must include compassion, clarity, creativity, and forthrightness as well as justice and wisdom. It is a strong position to take, not a weak one, and it requires great self-discipline and commitment to put forward. We must begin to ask this of ourselves more frequently. We cannot simply continue to stand by, feeling victim to an unsafe world. There are steps we can take. Every day we are faced with countless opportunities to grow in these abilities -- in situations at work, challenges within our families, and our friendships.

Yet we hold ourselves hostage to all that we are afraid to say, confront, or expose. The cost is beyond reason: the nearly complete forfeiture of our most authentic feelings, values, thoughts, and interactions. We become unable to recognize ourselves. We become unbelievably restricted by our straitjacket jobs, marriages, and dull routines. It takes courage to change or, especially, to leave a life that little resembles us. It is a vital moment of choice: the moment when we choose to alter a life that is primarily designed to get by, that is designed to work within limitations and darkness. We can choose instead to have a life of meaning and creativity, a life of purpose, a life of service, a life of value. Our lives can change, gradually or even literally overnight, but for the change to occur it means committing to the evolvement of our Soul.

When the general manager of Atlantic Records called to say that Jewel was being offered the cover of Time magazine, I told him we would need a little time to consider if she would do it. It had been many years since an Atlantic artist was on the cover of Time, so they were thrilled to be approached by the magazine. It was understandably difficult for him to imagine circumstances in which one would say no. He likely questioned my sanity. I told him there were many things we valued much more than an opportunity to increase her fame and that one of them was her healthy personal growth. I explained that Jewel was currently in a process of adjustment about fame. She was beginning to see what it was, what the cost and concerns were. She wasn't at all sure she wanted it. It weighed heavily on her mind. I felt that accepting the cover would move her quickly toward the realm of celebrity without the opportunity to consider if it was her choice. If she agreed without exploring it fully, it would be based on everyone else's assumptions that it was an automatic "yes" that was desirable or necessary.

That type of process is a decision by default. In a default decision you allow convention, ego responses, others' views, or old programming to be the values that inform and determine your decision. Conscious and fully informed choice is aborted in such a process and you find yourself acting based on the automatic assumptions of the default idea. As they unfold, default decisions result in many difficulties because it is hard to serve them with real satisfaction. They are ego centered and time driven. And they rarely include one's soul values.

The suspense in this decision was heightened by the fact that jewel was on a much-needed retreat for the weekend and I would not be able to discuss it with her until Sunday. It was three long days for the Atlantic team, but to their credit they were gracious rather than hysterical with us, though they told me later that no one slept all weekend. When I spoke with Jewel, she felt obligated to accept -- it seemed expected of her. I suggested that she consider what it would mean for her, to review her recent feelings about fame and celebrity, and to consider her values. I asked her not to make a default decision. "A Time cover is a wonderful thing if it's truly timely. Be certain you feel ready; if you are not, it would be folly to do it. If you pass on it, your career will not be harmed, you can trust in that. There are no missed opportunities."

She spent two days going into her fear and hesitancy about fame -- the change, the security issues, the loss of privacy. She asked herself if she was ready for more, and she asked from a place where she really felt she had choice. She knew I would say no to Atlantic and hold firm through the inevitable pressure that would follow.

She received a wonderful understanding in herself. "I was sort of worrying about the fame issue before and this opportunity has brought it to a head for me. As I meditated and prayed, I examined myself and asked my heart who I was and what I was ready for. I saw I had a strength. I knew I was ready. This was a surprise to me," she said. "I hadn't seen it when I was worrying. And I can see where I am vulnerable and what support I will need so that I don't forfeit what I value about me."

By making a fully examined choice, she did not default to assumptions about her career path or what was good for her. She knew she could move forward without forfeiting her core self.

I work with excitement and wonder at what is possible between people. Again and again I am humbled by how willing they are to act outside of their familiar patterns. Given a chance, I find them usually glad to have opportunities to be in more harmonious business and personal exchanges. I am continually heartened by what we can do and how we can be together. It is working from the platform of our common human values that makes this possible.

When the uncomfortable situations, angers, and issues occur, I elevate them to the highest degree that I am able to within myself. I go into them thoughtfully, even prayerfully. I enjoy them, I don't dread them. They are welcome to come to me. Why not? Where else should these matters go? To someone who will perpetuate the same ridiculous old stuff that is fundamental to the serious problems that we are all so very, very sick to death of? Each of us can be the agents of this change simply by acting on the saying, "If not me, who? If not now, when?"

If, in our interactions, some of our exchanges can be transformed, we are making a substantive difference. It is a difference that facilitates transformation -- a transformation vital to our very survival.