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Ask the Swami
by Swami
Beyondananda
Dear Swami:
I notice that your new book is called
“Duck Soup for the Soul.” That’s not another one of those Chicken Soup
books, is it? They’ve already done every chicken soup combo imaginable, with
the possible exception of “Mock Chicken Soup for the Vegetarian Soul.” Have
they now moved off of chickens and on to ducks? Or are you just another
opportunist looking for a free ride on the coattails of their success?
Please explain.
Orestes Mann,
Chicago, Illinois
Dear
Orestes:
First of all, let me say I have nothing but respect and
admiration for those Chicken Soup guys. We share the common goal of a world
empowered by esteem instead of the internal combustion we have now. So
I certainly wouldn’t want to run afowl of those two fellas or step
on anyone’s matzoh balls. And I have no need to ride on their
chicken tails, for I’ve got a duck tail of my own, thank you.
As for
“duck soup,” I will boil it down for you. Duck Soup, aside from being a
funny movie (yes, I admit that I was a fervid Marxist in my youth),
means “fun, easy, piece of cake”. Buddha has said that life in the
material world is suffering. But laughter can help turn whatever stew you’re
in into duck soup. Fortunately, we’ve been blessed with the human jestive
system to help us turn the material of the material world into laughter --
and reverse some of the adverse effects of adversity. After years (and
possibly lifetimes) of seeking the meaning of life, I have come to realize
that life is duck soup and we are the laughingstock. And it’s
the laughingstock that provides nourishment and keeps us healthy. Each
time we whole-heartedly laugh at ourselves, we add to the laughingstock.
So that’s why I wrote the book -- to remind us all to make ourselves
a hearty laughingstock every day. Think about all those situation
comedies we laugh at. Are they not a parody of human suffering? When Lucy
Ricardo or George Costanza try desperately to control reality -- and fail --
it’s a tragedy. We think it’s a comedy because there’s a laugh track and
it’s happening to someone else. But when we see that the fools we are
laughing at are really us in disguise, and when we are able to hear the laugh
track in the throes of our own human comedy, we have indeed
achieved fool-realization.
Dear
Swami:
I’ve heard you say that in the future, all wars will be fought
with cream pies. Isn’t that happening already as guerrilla activists
have tossed pies at corporate “villains”? What implications does this
have for designing new rules of engagement?
Gen. Newcombe
Gladley, Ft. Belvoir, Virginia
Dear Gen.
Gladley,
This is indeed a
rapidly-changing world we are living in, and already the United Nations has
had to respond to this ultra-modern -- and yet ancient -- form of warfare.
According to a recent article in the Natural Enquirer, pie-throwing
environmental warriors have been cited by the U.N. War Tribunal for violating
the Geneva Accords ban on chemical warfare. Apparently, they used Reddi-Whip
instead of real whipped cream in a pie tossed at a Monsanto official.
Biological warfare charges, however, were dropped against a compatriot who
tossed a pre-digested pie.
Dear Swami:
I was
shocked to find out that there are some very toxic ingredients found in many
commercial shampoos. Are you aware of this? Do you know about any natural
alternatives?
Lynn C. Doyle,
Framingham, Massachusetts
Dear
Lynn:
I too was shocked to find out that shampoo is just a sham, so I
found a natural alternative. Now I use only real poo.
Read
also: "Who Is Swami Beyondananda"
and
more articles
from the Swami
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