Ask the Swami

by Swami Beyondananda

Dear Swami:

You seem like a decent guy, so I can’t understand why you persist in questionable spiritual practices where there is truly just One Way. How about it Swami... Do you want to be saved?

Ed Heesive,
Iowa City, Iowa

Dear Ed:

Actually, I would rather be spent. What am I being saved for? I figure while I’m on the planet, I’d rather let Spirit use me until I’m all used up. Of course, when I go, I don’t want to be overdrawn either, so learning to receive is an important practice. That is why I imagine that every day is Christmas morning filled with wonderful presents. If you think about it, each moment that presents itself is a pre-sent. And if we’re not present for the presentation because we are too busy dwelling on pasts and buying futures, it is like having a large storage room filled with unopened gifts.

As for there being just One Way, it has always been my experience that traffic flows in both directions — giving and receiving. So my recommendation for a life well-spent is: delight in the present moment, gleefully open every present, and share your gifts with the world.

*****

Dear Swami:

I can’t believe the questions are actually real questions from real people. The names alone make me suspicious. How about it Swami? Do people actually ask you these questions, or do you just make them up?

Ann Sadat,
Delaware, Ohio

Dear Ann:

It is amazing to me that some people still think the Swami takes the easy way out and makes up his own questions. The truth is, it is very hard work indeed to produce this column.

First of all, I have to go out and find people with unusual names. Do you realize how many telephone books I have to go through each month just to find these people? But that’s the easy part. Then I have to call them and convince them to ask questions that match my answers.

Believe me when I tell you, Ann, that each and every question used in my column is as real as your own.

*****

Dear Swami:

The more I learn about tantric sexuality, the more I realize how incredibly screwed up our society is regarding sex. Our words for the sex act and the sex organs are crass and crude instead of beautiful and loving. Sex is seen as something dirty rather than something ennobling, and sexual feelings are confined to the sex organs rather than encompassing the entire body. 

I know you can see into the future, Swami, so tell us. Will sexuality transcend its current sorry state and become a religious experience instead of the coarse sideshow it is today?

Rippy Chothers-Klozoff,
Tiburon, California

Dear Rippy:

The good news is I don’t have to look too far in the future to see those changes you are longing for. Even as I write this, the first tantric rock album is being produced. It will be called, “Tantric Pony” and features such soon-to-be classics as, “Only the Yoni”, “Hot Rod Lingam”, and “Itsy- Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Golden Ball of Kundalini”. The even better news is that full body orgasm will become accessible to all thanks to a new teaching from the east called Auragasmi, the Japanese art of people unfolding. Yes, it won’t be long before couples will untwine from four hours of love making, light up a stick of sandalwood incense and ask, “Was it God for you?”

Copyright by Steve Bhaerman. All rights reserved. 

*****

Read also: "Who Is Swami Beyondananda?"
andmore articles from the Swami

About the Author

Hear the Swami’s wisdom with your own ears -- just click onto www.beyondananda.com. To find out more about Swami’s products and appearances on the "outernet", call 1-800-SWAMI-BE.

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If you enjoyed this column, you'll love 
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Another Swami book: "Driving Your Own Karma; Swami Beyondananda's Tour Guide to Enlightenment".
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