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Ask the Swami
by Swami
Beyondananda
Dear
Swami:
My friends and I have been following very closely the
Elian Gonzales story -- you know, the little boy who
escaped Cuba with his mom, and now is set to be reunited
with his father and returned to Cuba. We all find it sad
that this little boy is being used by both sides for
political reasons. As much as we discuss the issue, we
keep going around about what would be the just and wise
decision: let the boy return to an impoverished and
politically repressive country and be with his father,
or let him remain here in the land of freedom in the
custody of a great uncle who looks a lot like Saddam
Hussein? Swami, do you have any answers to this sticky
problem?
Meade E. Yater,
Annapolis,
Maryland
Dear
Meade:
I am
reminded of a story my guru Harry Cohen Baba used to
tell. Back in the old days in the Jewish community, when
two parties were in conflict and couldn't come to an
agreement, they brought the issue to the rabbi. The
rabbi would render a decision, and the losing party
would pay the rabbi's fee. In one village there lived a
great and wise rabbi who had one problem -- he was so
good at seeing all sides of an issue, that he could
never reach a decision, and consequently rarely got
paid. One day his wife complained to him. "Every
time two men come to you for a decision, you listen to
the first man and tell him, 'You're right.' Then,
you listen to the second man and tell him, 'You're also
right.' So everyone is right, and no one pays you."
"Yes,"
sighed the rabbi, "and you're right too."
Well,
the point of that story escapes me now. But it's a
great story. I too have been following the Elian
Gonzales case, and to me it's a clear cut case of right
and wrong. The problem is, both sides are right,
and both sides are wrong. Naturally, the first
impulse would be to return the boy to his father.
Unfortunately, the father lives in country where people
cannot leave, and if you can't flee freely, well, you
have no fleedom. Say what you will about the ol' Estados
Unidos, it isn't very often that folks flee Florida in
old leaky boats in an attempt to reach Cuba.
Elian's
plight is indeed a dilemma. So the question is how do we
turn the dilemma into dilemmonade? Maybe the
hidden opportunity here is for us to rise above the
dueling dualities and go right to the heart of the
situation. Which is: it's about the kid, stupid! Why not
create this opportunity for Elian to have the best of
both worlds and be a citizen of both countries?
In my tell-a-vision
script, here is how it could work:
-
Attorney
General Janet Reno finds a technicality in the
letter of the law. While illegal aliens must be
returned to their country of origin, illegal Elians
are allowed to stay.
-
A
joint custody agreement is worked out between
Elian's father and the child's Miami relatives, and
this agreement is mediated by the aforementioned
rabbi. "The father," pronounces the rabbi,
"has an abundance of fatherly love, which Elian
needs. The relatives on the other hand, can provide
Elian with an abundance of opportunity and freedom.
Therefore, in order for Elian to gain the maximum
benefit -- for that is everyone's desire -- he lives
with his father, but is free to travel at any time
to the U.S. And of course, the relatives will be
more than happy to pay for these trips."
-
In
an official state ceremony where Fidel Castro holds
Elian's left hand and Bill Clinton holds his right,
they announce this joint custody settlement. A
biblical passage is read, beginning with
"...and a child will lead them."
-
Elian
Gonzales becomes an ambassador to both countries
without portfolio (or, if they're in a generous
mood, the Miami relatives could spring for a nice
briefcase). Trade is normalized between the two
countries, and Cubans are finally able to sell those
classic cars they've been driving around for the
past forty years, which up here are worth the price
of a new one. Americans will finally be able to get
good cigars, great baseball players, and gain entry
to the Buena Vista Social Club. And the Cubans,
whose high literacy rates put our own to shame, will
finally be able to afford books.
Copyright
2000 by Steve Bhaerman. All rights reserved.
*****
NEWS FLASH: Swami
Does His Part to Heal Road Rage
With more people
spending more time in their cars more eager to get
somewhere in a hurry so they can do more, pressure is
bound to build up. So it's no wonder that road rage has
become the latest rage. It used to be that angry drivers
just shot dirty looks and an occasional finger at those
who offended them, but now some are shooting guns. So
what can we do? About other drivers, we can't do much.
But by modulating our own emotional state, we can avoid
being at the wrong end of one of these close encounters
of the turd kind.
And the most
beneficial and least harmful mood altering substance we
can partake of is... laughter. Imagine being on your way
to work or on your way home, or running errands. All of
a sudden, you're stuck in traffic and you get an urge to
do "tantrum yoga". But instead, you slip a
cassette into your player and listen to 60 minutes of
healing comedy. Before long, you're laughing so heartily
that you forget about all the drivers around you who
aren't. When you arrive at your destination, you are
smiling, cheerful, none the worse for traffic. Is this
just one of Swami's fantasies, you are asking yourself?
No, my friends, this is a reality. Because now you can
order Swami's new audiotape, "Beyondananda and
Beyond: Two Takes on Healing Laughter". On
side one, Swami holds forth on Achieving Fool
Realization, and ends with a surprise channeling from
the late great Sam Cooke. On side two, Swami's alter
ego, Steve Bhaerman, offers a funny and insightful talk
on the Five Healing Qualities of Laughter. You'll laugh
while you learn and learn while you laugh! The tape will
officially be released on May 7th. But you can
order now, and we'll pick up the cost of shipping.
Beyondananda and Beyond tapes are $12 each, five for
$50, ten for $80... But, you may be asking, what if the
tape doesn't make you laugh? Here is our laughtime
guarantee: If this tape doesn't make you laugh, we will
cheerfully refund your money. Not only that, but if it
doesn't release your stress, we'll double your stress
back. You have nothing to lose but stress, tension and
irritability!
To order by mail and
get a catalogue of Swami's products, send a check or
money order for $12 to Lite Headed Productions, 400 W.
Third St., Suite D-144, Santa Rosa, CA
95401. To place a credit card order, call Swami's
special product ordering line at 1-800-SWAMI-BE or visit
Swami's website at http://www.beyondananda.com.
Read also:
"Who
Is Swami Beyondananda?"
and
more
articles from the Swami
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