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Ask the Swami
by Swami
Beyondananda
Dear Swami:
I thought I heard on the radio the other day
that overall crime is down
compared with fifty years ago. As a
resident of the 'hood where I see
crime increasing all the time, I cannot
believe this is true. What do
you think, Swami? Is overall crime
really down? And what can be done
to make the 'hood a less dangerous place?
Amos B. Haven,
Los Angeles, California
Dear Amos:
The radio report was absolutely right.
Overall crime is indeed down compared to fifty years ago. In 1950,
for example, some 30% of all
crime was committed by people in overalls.
Today, that figure is just
under 8%.
As for the 'hood, I agree it
is more deadly than ever
before. And I think this deadly 'hood is
due to lack of livelihood. Unfortunately, when the most profitable forms
of livelihood in the 'hood
are deadly, only the deadly hoods have a
livelihood.
So how do we fix
this problem? Well, when we take a look
under the hood, we see that
what we now call the "'hood" used to
be called the "neighborhood."
This
tells me that when the "neighbor" is
removed, only the "hood" remains.
So the answer is simple (although it may not
be easy). If we want to
turn a deadly 'hood into a lively 'hood, the
neighbors must be stronger
in force than the hoods -- and the promise of
livelihood must be greater
than the profits of deadlihood.
* * * *
Dear Swami:
I'm afraid I keep creating the same situation
over and over again. I
totally fall for some guy who I'm convinced is
The One. For weeks, or
sometimes for months I feel like I'm on a
cloud, walking on air. And
then one day, I am shocked to find that he is
a cad who doesn't care
about me at all. Is there a name for
this affliction? And is there any
lesson I can learn from this experience?
Rhoda Ruder,
New Haven, Connecticut
Dear Rhoda:
I think the psychologists call your problem
"delusions of glandeur."
And unfortunately you're not the first
Cinderella to wish for a twin
soul -- and end up with a heel instead.
As for a lesson, I would
suggest that romance is like electricity:
If you're grounded, you're
less likely to be shocked.
* * * *
Dear Swami:
Having seen the lame and ridiculous government
reports concerning the
alleged UFO crash in Roswell, New Mexico over fifty
years ago, I was
absolutely puzzled as to why the government
insists on covering up the
existence of alien visits to our planet.
A few weeks ago, I think I
figured it out. If the government
actually acknowledged the existence
of extraterrestial visitors, they would have
to come up with a policy
towards these E.T.'s. What do you think,
Swami?
Lee Dingedge,
Taos, New Mexico
Dear Lee:
Very insightful, but I have news for you.
The government has already
formulated a policy. It's called
"Don't Ask, Don't Tell." In
other
words, the government agrees to not ask any
being if they are an
intergalactic alien, provided the being
doesn't tell them. Well, you
might ask, what about aliens who insist on
disclosing their identity?
For this contingency, the Pentagon through
it's highly sophisticated
Project Get Smart has come up with the
following strategy:
-
Interrogator: "Don't tell me you're
an alien from
another planet."
-
Interrogatee: "I am an alien from
another planet."
-
Interrogator: "I told you not to
tell me that!"
* * * *
Dear Swami:
I am in a touchy situation. I am a
psychiatrist who has spent my
entire professional career studying phobias
and treating patients with
debilitating fears. Last year, a young
woman came to me with a very
interesting affliction -- a deep and abiding
terror of philosophy. You
had only to mention Hegel or Schopenhauer or
Sartre and she would go
into a catatonic panic. Well, sad to say
she's been coming to me for a
year, and we haven't made much progress with
her phobia. I have,
however, fallen in love with her. I love
my work, Swami, but I am
willing to risk my career to be with her.
I know you understand things
from a deeper level, Swami, and I need your
advice. What should I do?
M. Ira Prest, M.D.
Ventura, California
Dear M. Ira:
Forget about her. A phobophile and a
philophobe? How could it ever
work?
* * * *
Read also:
"Who
Is Swami Beyondananda?"
and
more
articles from the Swami
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