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Ask the Swami
by Swami
Beyondananda
Dear
Swami:
All my
life, I have heard people say that money can't buy
happiness. And yet, I look all around me and I see folks
pursuing the almighty dollar and I think maybe I'm
missing something. After all, money does seem to bring
freedom. And what with the cost of health care nowadays,
it would seem that having money can definitely be an
advantage health-wise. How about it, Swami? What is the
relationship between money, health and happiness?
Selma
Soul
Elgin, Illinois
Dear Selma:
It has
always been my contention that money cannot buy
happiness. (It can, however, rent it for a while.) I
remember struggling with the issue of money and health,
especially during my lean years. I set out to make a
living as a medium — and within months, I had been
reduced to a small. Needless to say, I couldn't afford
pricey vitamins and supplements, doctor's visits, or
even health insurance. I asked my guru, Harry Cohen
Baba, the Garment Center Saint, whether I needed money
for optimum health and as was the custom, he didn't
answer the question directly. He instead offered a Zen
Cohen — a configuration of words designed to ignite a
moment of enlightenment with a spark of laughter. Here
is what he told me:
A man
needed a very serious operation and he went to the
finest surgeon in the country. The operation was
successful and the surgeon presented him with the
bill. "I'm sorry," the man said, "but
I'm afraid I can't pay that much."
"What
about your insurance?" the surgeon asked.
"Oh,
I don't have any insurance," the patient replied.
"Okay,"
said the surgeon, who was getting a little miffed,
"how much can you pay?"
"Well,
to be honest, I haven't got a cent to my name. I can't
pay any of it."
Now the
surgeon was livid. "If you knew you couldn't
afford to pay, why did you go to the finest surgeon in
the country?"
"Because,"
said the man, "when it comes to my health, money
is no object."
*****
Dear Swami:
I know this
entire issue has already been talked to death, but I
can't resist just one comment on President Clinton's
sexual proclivities and appetites. Don't you think he is
a prime candidate for one of those sexual addiction
12-step groups? Do you suppose he will ever admit his
problem and enroll in one of these?
Lola
Beado,
Redmond, Washington
Dear Lola:
I have it
on good authority that indeed the President is
enthusiastically looking forward to going to a Sex
Addicts Anonymous meeting. He thinks it would be a
terrific place to meet women.
*****
Dear Swami:
I notice
you continually refer to God as a "He". Surely
an enlightened male like yourself doesn't subscribe to
the belief that our Creator is a man. A lot of us
feminists out here are pretty upset. How about it,
Swami?
Lynne
Schmob,
Seattle, Washington
Dear Lynne:
Your point
is well-taken, so let me explain. Since God was the
First Laugher and will no doubt be around to get the
Last Laugh, I have always secretly referred to our
Creator as the Ho-Ho-Holy Hee-Hee-Healer. I originally
thought about shortening that to "Ho." I can
see where this might have given the Creator a more
feminine spin, but this would have been even more ripe
for ms-interpretation. So I decided to go with Hee,
which actually looks stupid so I shortened it to He.
Hope this answers your question.
*****
Read also:
"Who
Is Swami Beyondananda"
and
more
articles from the Swami
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