Karma Talk

by Swami Beyondananda

Dear Swami:

As a practicing Southern Baptist, I was puzzled to read that at the recent annual convention, the new church dogma drops the language saying the church is "rooted and grounded in Jesus Christ" and instead now says "the Bible is the source of our authority." None of my friends at my church could offer any reasonable explanation why this language was changed, so I figured maybe I’d go completely outside the faith to get some perspective. What would the Swami have to say about this?

Bernie Turner Lee,
Cumming, Georgia

Dear Bernie:

I make it a point never to comment on the religious faith of others, particularly in the light of what happened to Joan of Arc. There she was driving a beautiful karma, and all of a sudden, wham! She ran smack into a vicious dogma -- and just like that, her karma was totalled.

Not to mention my own past-life experience back there in the 11th century, when I was part of a religious sage-burning ceremony. Unfortunately, the sage they were burning was me! Ever since that time, I’ve been a little sensitive as you might imagine.

So actually, I have no opinion on the matter. However, thanks to the free flow of information on the web, I have become privy to a secret inter-church memo that concluded that "Jesus just wasn’t Christian enough." 

First of all, the memo begins, he was a Jew, which makes him automatically suspect. Secondly, unlike just about every Jewish man at the time -- priests included -- he apparently wasn’t married, and spent nearly all of his time hanging out with twelve guys. The incident with the money-changers shows definite leftist leanings, and he was known to associate with prostitutes, lepers and other undesirables. 

The final straw came when Biblical scholars concluded that Jesus would have been unlikely to support -- let alone join -- the National Rifle Association. The memo concluded that the church had to discourage people from asking that potentially-subversive question, "What would Jesus do?" and have them instead adhere to, "What would Jerry (Falwell) do?"

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Dear Swami:

Can you say a little more about Fool-Realization? How does one know he or she is Fooly-Realized?

Lucinda Woods,
Ukiah, California

Dear Lucinda:

It is the nature of life that Fool-Realization comes and goes. One moment you can be fooly-enlightened and realize that life is a joke and we are here purely to entertain and delight the Creator, next moment you can be back in that trance where you imagine that life is serious.

Even the Swami is subject to bouts of seriousness. As much work as I’ve done in the Humor Potential Movement, the stresses of life can cause my humorrhoids to flare up and my jestive system to shut down. At moments like these, when our levels of sillium are extremely low, we need an instant reminder of the true nature of life. 

While many people keep jestive aids like Groucho noses and glasses handy just for this situation, one of the best things we can do is remember moments where we ourselves have experienced fool-realization. You know, the times we found ourselves laughing at our situation in spite of it all, those embarrassing moments where we realized God is laughing so hard we would be fools not to join in. 

Sometimes the Universe will create a farce-field just for our benefit, and we realize that life is a situation comedy and we are just having an episode.

You know, for years I taught Absurdiveness Training, and at the end everyone received Absurdification from the Swami. Well, I have decided to reinstitute that policy. If you send me a true story about how you became fooly-aware, or committed a random act of comedy that contributed to someone else’s fool-realization or added to the laugh force on the planet, I will send you a playful certificate suitable for framing indicating that you have been officially Absurdified by the Swami. Put this in a prominent place. Then, whenever irregularhilarity strikes, use it as a reminder that you have had a moment of fool-realization.

And you know what? You are still the same fool you were then. All you have to do is realize it, and you are fooly-realized once again. May the Farce be with you!

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Swami’s Quiz Question for July: Why can’t you do Gestalt therapy with pigs? Answer next month. Or, submit your answer at www.beyondananda.com. You’ll have a chance to win a copy of Swami’s new audio tape, Beyondananda and Beyond.

Copyright 2000 by Steve Bhaerman. All rights reserved.

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