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Karma Talk
by Swami
Beyondananda
Swami
Beyondananda on Love and Laughter
Swami
answers your questions ...
and you will question his answers
Well, here it is, the Month of Love. One
out of twelve is pretty good, but I think we
can do better. So here I am,
Swami-on-the-spot, offering my advice to all
of those who’ve been looking for love in all
the wrong places, or have actually found the
right places, only these places are attached
to the wrong people.
Now you are probably asking yourself,
what does an elevated soul like myself know
about the down-and-dirty business of sexual
politics? I will tell you. It is true that I
practiced celibacy for fourteen years. But
when I turned fifteen, I said, “Enough of
that. What else have we got?”
So ... questions, anyone? Hello, you’re
on Karma Talk:
Dear Swami:
I’m a young woman who was brought up in a
strict family where we were told in no
uncertain terms that the purpose of sex was
procreation, and procreation only. I have
since switched religions, but I still believe
in sexual purity and chastity. Problem is,
every time I go to the beach to meditate I get
distracted by these guys with skimpy briefs
and terrific tans. How can I channel my energy
into more spiritual pursuits?
Anaîs Lass,
Long Beach, California
Dear Anaîs:
What you face is a common dilemma. We are
biological beings, and these natural urges
demand release. And yet, society’s mixed
messages put us in a difficult situation.
We’re damned if we do, and dammed if we don’t.
And if we try to submerge the urge to merge
long enough, the dam is bound to break, and
then we get like that poor televangelist a
while back whose “delusions of glandeur” cost
him his career. So relax and enjoy the brief
diversion. Even the most spiritual young woman
gets off on a tan gent from time to time.
* * * *
Dear Swami:
My wife and I have been happily married for 27
years, and now all of a sudden and
inexplicably, she refuses to cook. What’s
wrong?
Israel Bummer,
Skokie, Illinois
Dear Israel:
Not to worry. She’s just going through
menupause.
* * * *
Dear Swami:
What’s your position on same-sex marriages?
Evan Jellick,
Lynchburg, Virginia
Dear Evan:
I would think that same-sex marriages would be
boring, what with having the same sex all the
time. For variety sake, I would recommend
different sex, but keep the same partner.
* * * *
Dear Swami:
You want to know my theory about why the world
is so screwed up? It all has to do with
orgasms. See, men’s orgasms last what, about
30 seconds? Women, on the other hand, can have
their orgasms go on indefinitely.
Consequently, men are jealous and they’ve
brought greed and destruction onto the world.
Do you agree, Swami?
Lynne Schmob,
Seattle, Washington
Dear Lynne:
Come on now. Even the most militant feminist
can’t blame all the world’s problems on men’s
shortcomings.
* * * *
Dear Swami:
We hear it all the time: All you need is love.
We’ve been holding hands, linking arms,
rocking back and forth for almost 35 years
now, singing these songs and we don’t seem any
closer to love than we were back then. What’s
going on, anyway?
Aretha Flowers,
Birmingham, Alabama
Dear Aretha:
Well, for one thing we’ve been using the wrong
affirmation all these years. By singing, “All
You Need Is Love,” we are affirming that we
don’t have it. If we already had it, why would
we need it? The Bible tells us that we are
made in the Creator’s image. In other words,
God is Divine and we are Fruit of Divine. But
we forget that the great “I Am” is none other
than We. This forgetfulness is called
“I-Am-That-I-Amnesia.”
And when we forget our divine roots, our
search for peace and love is bound to be
fruitless. We keep looking for love in all the
wrong places -- out there, for example. So as
a reminder, I suggest that the next time we
hear that song, we change the lyrics to “All
You Be Is Love.” One of the best ways to be
love is to express ourselves joyfully in the
world. And laughter is the currency of joy ..
so pay it forward! Laugh lovingly, love
laughingly, and maybe, just maybe, we might
actually launch that blisskrieg we’ve been
threatening all these years.
©
Copyright 2002 by Steve Bhaerman. All rights
reserved.
*****
Read also:
"Who
Is Swami Beyondananda"
and
more
articles from the Swami
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