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Ask the Swami
by Swami Beyondananda
Dear Swami:
I have asked this question of many great masters, and none could answer it to
my satisfaction. So I will ask you: "How do you know you know?"
Ashir Dropov,
Brooklyn, New York
Dear Ashir:
As far as I know, there are Four Stages of Knowing:
1. You don't know.
2. You don't know you don't know.
3. You know you don't know.
4. You know "I don't know" is all you need to know.
Clearly, you have not achieved Stage Four because you still think you need to
know if you know, and your desire to be aware of what you know and what you
don't know has led you to a state of mental confusion.
I understand this condition from my own experience, because I too was a
know-aware man. But then in an instant of enlightenment, I went from know
awareness to no awareness. As soon as I knew I didn't know, I knew. Y'know? I'll
put it another way. All of the knowing we fill our heads up with is to avoid a
void. But emptiness is the space of all creation. It says so right in the Bible:
"In the beginning vas the Void." (Note: It is not widely known that the early
God of the Hebrews spoke with a Yiddish Brooklyn accent.)
So instead of doing a void dance to avoid an unavoidable void, we must seek
Holeness. That is why I recommend you carry your own box of Nothing with you at
all times. This is nothing personal.
And I recommend that you stop throwing bait at all these spiritual masters.
Believe me when I tell you this mental master-baiting will not get you nowhere.
As my friend Brad Blanton says, "The mind is a terrible thing -- waste it".
**************
Dear Swami:
How do I handle a boss who gives me no instructions for a particular project
and then complains about how it was done?
His standard reply to any request for assistance or any comment on being
treated unfairly is, "That's your problem." Since I'm not in a position to look
for another job, he's right. It is my problem. I even bought one of those voodoo
dolls and am thinking of putting his name on it and sticking pins in strategic
places. Any ideas?
Mandy Torpedos,
Berwyn, Illinois
Dear Mandy:
Please, please, please, no violence! Violence never works (unless, of course,
you're a nation-state with a powerful air force). No, your boss needs your
compassionate help. From what you say, it sounds like he is in the advanced
stages of assaholism.
The main symptom of assaholism is assaholic behavior, accompanied by the
denial that there is any assahole problem whatsoever. It is very important that
you handle this situation delicately and discreetly.
Perhaps you can introduce him to a friend of yours who is a recovering
assaholic, or even anonymously leave literature around about "Assaholics
Anonymous".
Above all, never become self-righteous. An assholier-than-thou attitude will
defeat your purpose.
**************
About the Author
Hear the Swami’s wisdom with your own ears --
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