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Too Busy for Our Own Good
by Alexander J. Berardi
For some reason, those of us who inhabit the more industrially developed
nations of the world seem to believe that doing more will somehow yield us more.
When we mistakenly enter into this thought pattern, we come dangerously close to
mistaking activity for accomplishment. Despite what most of us have been
unconsciously conditioned to believe, the two are not necessarily connected. As I drove to the office this morning, a young woman reminded me of our
propensity to cram every waking moment of our existence with projects and tasks
in hopes that we might gain more control over our lives. The young woman was
driving a car in the lane next to me. As we headed down the expressway, I
couldn't help notice her: It was the first time I have ever seen anyone eat
breakfast, talk on the phone, apply eye makeup, and sort through papers while
driving a car at sixty-five miles per hour.
This woman wasn't alone in her pursuit of multitasking nirvana, either. The
fellow driving just behind her was reading a newspaper, drinking coffee, and
yelling at three arguing kids seated in the backseat. This perpetual
multitasking is not a problem we succumb to only while driving. Just this
morning, as I sat in Central Park enjoying the shade of a 200-year-old oak tree,
I happened to catch sight of a jogger talking on his cell phone and fiddling
with his Palm Pilot while he ran. Similar observations by friends in Europe and
Asia suggest this is not just an American ill; it seems to be part of a
worldwide phenomenon.
We're all too busy for our own good. Most of us live as if we will be judged
at our final reckoning according to the number of crossed-off items on our
cosmic to-do list. I'm not sure what it is that causes otherwise rational people
to think that, by working harder, faster, and longer, they'll get everything
done, when they know by experience the exact opposite is true.
Often the harder, faster, or longer we work at a task the less effective we
become, and in most cases getting "everything done" is a human
impossibility. We're just not built to move at the pace most of us tend to push
ourselves to.
The technology we once thought would make our lives simpler is actually
producing the obverse effect. Cell phones, PDAs (Personal Digital Assistants)
with satellite capabilities, voice mail, E-mail, and the like, bring the world
within our reach. Unfortunately, they also bring us within the reach of the
world.
Our tender senses are assaulted every moment by billions of new and changing
sights, sounds, smells, and other sensations. More information is hurled at our
minds today than at any time in history, and we are reacting negatively to the
overload. The human attention span is shrinking in response to the
ever-increasing number of demands being placed on it, and our nerves are raw
from wear. To maintain our sanity and preserve a small scrap of solitude, we
learn to block most of the sensations that we deem nonessential. In consequence,
all that is sensuous and spiritual ricochets off the impenetrable wall we have
erected.
Such is another of life's follies: In a vain attempt to quiet our tired minds
and draw closer to the sound of our souls, we strain out the very things that
will bring us peace, joy, and the spiritual connection we seek. The absurdity is
this: The more we fail in attaining peace through filtration, the harder we try.
Until one day we have blocked so much from our lives, we find that we're not
really living at all; we're merely alive.
In order to draw closer to our soul, we need less in our lives, not more.
Instead of hurrying to fill the voids in our schedule with more activity, we
need to take time to experience the sensual and spiritual side of life: We need
to nourish the relationship with our soul and allow it to grow.
Sensuality is akin to the soul. We need to bring sensuality back into our
everyday lives. When was the last time you lay in fresh-cut grass and felt the
warmth of the sunshine on your face and the softness of the breeze on your skin?
Can you remember the last time you spent the entire day in bed with your lover,
or ate spaghetti with your hands?
We seem to be able to make time for everything else, but we need to make time
for the sensual things in life, the things that really make life worth living.
We need to make time for doing nothing at all, so we can once again experience
the joy of serenity. We need to slow down a bit, so we can become in synch with
nature. We need to feed our souls with sensuality, quiet, and reflection so we
can better communicate with God.
Because God dwells deep within us, we need to allow ourselves the time to
experience one another on a much deeper level, to see the similarities rather
than the differences, and to get past the small talk and share with each other
the deep human experiences we all have every day.
To help us get to know each other better, we need to share things like the
gift of humor with each other. We also need to take time to share an honest
compliment or a simple hug with everyone we meet. I believe these are the
mechanisms by which God's comfort can pass through our soul to the soul of
another. We need to tear down the walls that we have built between our souls and
the souls of others. Only then will we begin to see a glimmer of evidence of the
God that lives within all of us.
This article is excerpted from Never Offer Your Comb to a Bald Man,
©2001, by Alexander J. Berardi. Reprinted with permission of the publisher, New
World Library. http://www.newworldlibrary.com
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About the Author
Alexander J. Berardi is a high-level healthcare industry entrepreneur, owner
of seven successful companies, a professional speaker and trainer, and a leader
of more than 700 employees. Each of his companies serves either an ailing
element of society (elderly, sick, or poor) or those who serve them. He walks
his talk, and the success of his companies lead major hospitals and healthcare
organizations to solicit his advice. Now, he speaks to hospital presidents,
nurses, administrators, doctors, and other healthcare workers on his topic,
servant leadership.
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