Eye Contact

by Carlos Warter, M.D., Ph.D.

As the adage says, "The eyes are the window to the soul." Making eye contact is one of the most basic ways to share our inner light with another. Daring to communicate with someone in this simple way is a fundamental opportunity to acknowledge that we all have the power of light.

Dare to make eye contact with another. It doesn't really matter whether you choose your pet, spouse, child, a relative, or the policeman who has stopped you to issue a ticket. There are so many opportunities to make eye contact. Even if you make eye contact with a dead fish, you are inherently acknowledging that the fish sacrificed her life so that you could have dinner. Making eye contact is a way to give yourself over to the energy of the universe. It is a way to give up control, and, at the same time, to retain your discipline.

It takes discipline to make eye contact. Walk down the street. What do you see in the eyes of the people you pass? How many people will dare to look into your eyes? If you dare to look into their eyes, how many people will agree to your contact? 

Just to commit yourself to making human contact through the eyes to the people you pass on the street is a real eye-opener -- if you'll pardon the pun. Try it; you'll see that many people whom you meet during the day use their eyes as a defense, rather than a window to the heart.

Making eye contact is a bold exercise. To prepare yourself for it, try this: 

Find a partner who is willing to explore the depth of eye contact. Sit across from each other and look into each other's eyes. Hold the contact for as long as you can. What do you feel? You may feel yourself bouncing off the other person's energy. If that's how it is, try to feel the other person's energy and absorb it through your eyes into the heart.

You might also feel a sense of exposure or vulnerability. Notice what your natural reaction is to your feeling. Perhaps you would like to draw back. Even so, keep looking into the other person's eyes if you can. This could take you beyond the sense of vulnerability into a bigger space. Does that space feel threatening? Try to stay with it if you can. If you must look away, notice what came up that caused you to break contact.

Making eye contact takes us beyond the boundaries of ourselves, beyond the boundaries of the other, into the boundlessness of space. Space can be very threatening. Making eye contact with your partner by agreement is a way to experience the space and rest there. You've agreed to try this experiment, and you've agreed to fully encounter whatever you encounter.

When you make eye contact for long enough, you pass beyond all the defenses into an open space. Rejoice in sharing this space, and claim it as your own. Continue the practice of making eye contact with your partner. But after a while, take your practice to the streets and make a point of making eye contact with whomever you meet. What happens? What does your practice tell you about yourself and the other person? What changes?

This article was excerpted by permission from Carlos Warter's book Pathways to the Soul, copyright 2000, published by Hay House Inc. www.hayhouse.com.

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Carlos Warter M.D., Ph.D. is a medical doctor, transpersonal spiritual psychiatrist, lecturer, and pioneer in the field of consciousness raising and alternative healing. He is the author of Soul Remembers and Who Do You Think You Are? The Healing Power of Your Sacred Self. Born in Chile, Dr. Warter has been awarded the United Nations Peace Messenger and the Pax Mundi awards for his humanitarian efforts. He presents keynote speeches, workshops, and seminars both in the U.S. and throughout the world. His website is at www.doctorcarlos.com and his email Heartnet@aol.com.

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