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Afraid of
Dying?
by
Heather Anne Harder
 There
is much you can do to prepare yourself for the great
adventure of death. But it is well to remember that you
are alive, and as such, you are meant to live. Avoid the
tendency to become preoccupied or obsessed with death.
The natural process of life provides time for all
things. Keep death in perspective with other major life
events.
One of
the most important things to know is that you can
prepare now for death and you can even enjoy the
preparation process. Preparing for death can enrich your
living experiences. Once you can look death in the eye
and feel nothing but pleasant, yet mild, anticipation,
then life becomes much more enjoyable.
This
epitaph taken from a headstone in Ashby, Massachusetts,
describes the basic truth.
Remember,
friends, as you pass by,
as you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so you must be.
Prepare yourself to follow me.
You are
well-advised to prepare yourself for death. But whether
you are ready or not, when your self-determined hour
arrives you will pass to the next dimension. Your hour
is determined by you and your council -- not the
little you that operates in the conscious mind, but the
greater You that operates in harmony with Divine Source.
This higher self, as it is often referred to, maintains
the direct connection to the Divine Source.
A little
preparation can make the death experience more pleasant
and thus more peaceful for you as well as those you
leave behind. Here are some suggestions for this
preparation.
TALKING
ABOUT DEATH
Allow
yourself to talk about death as a part of life. I assure
you, you do not bring death closer to you by talking
about it, and you may make yourself more comfortable
with the concept. By avoiding the topic you shroud it in
mystery and shame. It becomes one of those topics that
we don't talk about in polite society.
Upon
death you will create your own death experience based on
what you believe. Therefore, the clearer you are about
what you want and expect to happen, the better off you
will be. Read and examine the near-death experiences of
others. Discuss with friends what you read. Do these
books and articles describe a hell? Do you want one?
Play with the concepts and words involved with death.
This allows you and others to adjust to a death reality.
Talking about your thoughts and concepts helps you to
clarify your own views. It forces you to synthesize and
articulate your reality. It is at this point that you
are able to revise or adjust your own faulty thinking.
Even if you do not, at first, have an accurate reality
of death, the process of open forum allows you to open
to a variety of possibilities.
While
Mom was in the hospital, she and I had an opportunity to
discuss death. Although she was very confused and scared
of death, she listened to my views and shared her own.
She talked about what she wanted to happen (and how) if
she died. At this point no one believed that she would
be dead in less than two months. The conversation was
one I shall always remember and treasure.
A
colleague at the university, Don, and I discussed the
recent death of a co-worker. We talked about death --
his beliefs and mine. It was to be our last
conversation, for he died just a few days later.
These
conversations help to acclimate people to the transition
process. Neither Don or Mom knew consciously that they
were soon to die. Yet both felt the need to discuss
death. It is important to be comfortable enough with the
topic to discuss it when the conversation arises. Often
there is an inner knowing and a need to discuss death as
the hour approaches, much like the impending birth of a
child is discussed.
People
have taken the topic of death, and even the words
associated with it, and made them naughty --
something we don't speak aloud in public. Children are
shushed or quickly diverted if they bring up the topic.
Our society is "death-a-phobic" and it's time
this is changed.
By
becoming comfortable with the words and concepts, when
the magic moment arrives and you discover that you are
dead, you won't be so shocked. Many people have a
difficult time accepting their own death simply because
of the shock value of the word. Ignoring and suppressing
the idea of death throughout your life actually empowers
the word. So take the power away from the words and
concept of death by verbalizing and getting comfortable
with them. Make the words "death" and
"dead" as familiar as the word
"birth" and "life".
Birth
and death are both times of transition. They imply a
change from one dimensional form to another. You don't
see people going to pieces because someone gave birth
like you do when people (especially themselves) die. Yet
birth is much more traumatic and generally unpleasant to
the one experiencing it. Death is a much easier
transition.
A
WORKING REALITY OF DEATH
Take a
minute to imagine the following scene.
You
find yourself inside a large cube or box. It can be of
any material you choose. You are completely enclosed
in this box. There are no doors or windows, no way to
get in or out. You do not know how you got in or how
to get out.
As you
imagine yourself in this box, what are your reactions?
What thoughts or feelings do you have? Remain in this
imaginary state for a minute or so to fully experience
your feelings.
STOP!
DON'T READ ANY FURTHER UNTIL YOU HAVE TAKEN A MINUTE TO
EXPERIENCE THIS SENSATION!
Good.
Did you feel panic? How about curiosity? There are a
multitude of reactions, and yours are perfectly normal
regardless of what they were.
Your
reactions to this exercise are similar to those you
might experience as you pass into death. Now reexamine
your reactions to the box, only apply these to death.
How do you feel about death? Don't judge yourself,
simply examine. You now have a starting point from which
to examine your current death beliefs.
For our
second exercise, imagine yourself walking down a path.
Create your path; notice the details. Is it wide,
narrow, smooth, rough, beautiful, not-so-beautiful,
straight, or winding? You decide. After you walk for
awhile you come to a wall. The wall can be any form you
like, but it must run across your path and stretch so
far that you cannot walk around it. Create the wall now!
Now move
beyond the wall. What do you see? Take a minute to
experience this vision. Relax and play with the images.
Don't read on until you have experienced this!
No
fudging!
This
path represents your view of your life. Was your life
easy or rough? Was your path well worn, or are you
blazing new trails? Was your path straight or winding?
If you did not like your path, know that you have full
power to change it any time you choose. You can add
plants, flowers -- in short, create any path you
choose whenever you choose.
Examine
the wall. Was it high and solid or low and
insubstantial? What kind was it? How did you move beyond
the wall? Was it hard? What were your reactions to
moving beyond the wall? What did you find on the other
side?
The wall
represents the separation of life and death. Beyond the
wall is your symbolic subconscious view of the
afterlife. Now reexamine your images. If you do not like
what you experienced, simply choose a new creation and
construct new images.
There
are no right answers, yet, at the same time, all answers
are right. Your answers represent a combination of what
you have been conditioned to believe about death and
your personal reality of death. If you are happy with
your subconscious death reality, that's great. If you
are uncomfortable with your symbolic representation of
death, then create a new one as you read on.
Death
need not be scary. In fact, in many ways death can be
compared to going away to college. It may cause a little
apprehension at first. The change may even produce some
stress. But after awhile you can actually become excited
about the prospect of going away to your great new
adventure. There are many who would even say you are
lucky to be going. Death is even easier than college
because there is no packing to do, no tuition to pay,
nor written exams to take.
As you
get comfortable with the concept of death, then you can
begin to let go of any fearful notions of death. Allow
yourself to have a variety of death options, all
pleasant. This allows you to stay open and receptive to
your own unique death adventure when it occurs, which
may be different from the one you have created.
If,
however, the concept of death still makes you tremble
with fear, and you can't leave it in such an unformed
and unpleasant condition, then take a few moments to
create your own picture of what death will be like for
you. Play this image over and over until it becomes your
new reality of death. Thus, when you die you will
automatically create this familiar reality. Eventually
the actual reality will pierce your awareness, but this
created reality will be a pleasant first encounter,
certainly much better than fear or panic.
Remember,
your thoughts have power. If you believe that there is a
hell and that this is what you deserve, presto! you
create it for yourself. If, on the other hand, you think
there is a heaven with streets lined with gold and
angels floating around and that this is your reward for
living the good life, then that is what you will
experience. Eventually, when (and if) you settle down,
you will learn the truth about death. But why risk
having a terrible time and perhaps have some
less-than-enjoyable experiences while you are figuring
it out? Better to create a death reality you wish to
experience; after death and whenever you are ready, you
will know the truth.
Just
create in your mind a picture of your most desirable
place. This image will be different for everyone. Do you
want perfect peace or high adventure? How about a party
with all your old friends and relatives, or a quiet talk
with God? Would you like to experience the loving light
that so many speak of? You decide, then create that
reality. Thus when you die, this will indeed be what you
experience immediately upon your death. This familiar
scene will calm your fears and lessen your shock at
finding yourself dead. It can even create a mild sense
of anticipation.
Keep in
mind that there is no hell, except to the extent that
you create it. But, just because you have created a
wonderful death experience, this does not mean you will
escape responsibility for all your Earthly actions. As
someone once said, "Paybacks are hell," and
you will feel the need to payback or bring balance to
this life. So continue to live a responsible and
enjoyable life and no hellish paybacks will be
necessary.
FEAR,
GUILT, AND NEGATIVITY
While
preparing for death it is well to remember that these
lower frequency emotions do not serve you. They create
panic and chaos during your life as well as after. It is
best to rid yourself of them now so they cannot affect
the rest of your life or death. These energy stealers
rob you of your joy for living and have no redeeming
features.
One of
the easiest ways of eliminating them is to ask for
assistance from the Heavenly Helpers. Once you recognize
the negative force that fear and worry are, simply
decide that now is a great time to free your life from
fear forever. Ask for Divine help in ridding yourself of
your fear. God, the universe, Buddha, Jesus, or the
angels, depending upon your beliefs, are willing to help
you. But you must be willing to let go of your fears.
Ask for help and then follow your inner guidance.
Another
technique involves visualizing. See all your fears,
worry, etc. take physical form. Then dissipate the
forms. Burn them, zap them with love, disintegrate them
with light. Be creative, but see yourself doing it. Know
that once you have willed them to be gone, they must
leave. Act on one issue at a time. As you give it form,
pay special attention to it. Really experience it and
notice all its attributes. Then when you eliminate it
from your life know that it is gone, unless your
thoughts invite it back. As you eliminate each less
desirable emotion, replace it with something desirable
(love, trust, courage, faith etc.).
As your
mind dwells on a topic, it is manifest in your life, not
immediately but definitely! Each new thought can be an
invitation for these nonproductive emotions to rejoin
you. During life your thoughts and words have creative
power, even though it is a slow process, eventually
these become your reality. In the beginning, while you
are unaware, it is a slow process. This is a safety
device meant for our protection. The more aware you are
of this truth, the faster the manifestation.
After
death these same thoughts become your instant reality.
Therefore, if you move into the death process filled
with fears and guilt, you will torture yourself until
you release them from your existence.
Native
Americans had a special technique for releasing their
emotional garbage. They would dig a hole and speak into
it all their negative experiences, thoughts, and/or
feelings. When they had given it all to Mother Earth
they would fill the hole. Often they would plant a seed,
knowing that Mother Earth would use their emotional
garbage for fertilizer from which something beautiful
would grow. I love this ritual, and have used it on many
occasions. I choose to plant a tree. Our planet needs
more trees, and humanity has plenty of emotional
fertilizer to give them a healthy start.
Whenever
you experience fear, guilt, or any negative feelings,
dig a hole and put your emotional dung into the hole.
Then plant a tree in the hole. Ask Mother Earth and the
spirit of the tree to help you move into a peaceful,
loving existence and to use your fertilizer for the
highest and best good for all concerned. If you are
unable to do it for real, do it in your mind. You may
have to plant many trees to get rid of it all of your
garbage, but you will feel wonderful.
ASK TO
KNOW TRUTH
Prepare
yourself for death by allowing the actual or ultimate
reality of death to enter your consciousness. This can
happen as you learn the truth about it. No one can teach
you truth; it must be allowed and recognized through
your inner knowing. You can speed the process by asking
the God Presence to help you learn the truth about
death. As you read or listen to others, ask for the
ability to discern truth. As you make death a topic of
conversation, listen for truth. Learn to trust your
inner knowing.
This
book and all other books share their authors' truths.
Their truths may or may not be your truth. This book can
be a catalyst in helping you become aware of your own
truth if you allow it. Facts and opinions are given to
you or gathered by you, but truth is a gut-level
recognition. This internal knowing can never be given by
others, and certainly can never be taken from you. Your
personal truth will lead you to the ultimate truth about
life and death. At the introductory level, there are
many truths, but eventually, all lead to the single
ultimate truth. It is an inward journey.
Open
your mind and let your intuition bring you truth. Relax
and let your mind float. Don't try to force information;
instead let your imagination gently guide your thoughts
over and around the thought of death. Do this for as
long as you feel comfortable with it. A few minutes can
be just as productive as a half hour. A relaxed mind is
much more receptive to Divine inspiration. You may not
receive profound thoughts at this moment, but you have
begun to make your mind more receptive to Divine
insights. Keep your mind in a relaxed state as you
continue your daily activities. Trust, knowing that at
the right time you will know the truth about death (or
any other topic you choose). Watch for your own change
of feelings and attitudes, and for "messages"
that may come in the form of comments from others,
intuitive thoughts, or passages from written material.
The Bible tells you to ask and you shall receive. If you
ask to know the truth, you will be given truth. But this
requires you to keep your mind open to it. If your mind
is closed down to all but your current beliefs, it will
be harder for you to know truth and more disturbing for
you to accept.
Ask for
the ability to discern truth, then learn to trust this
ability, knowing you have it. Keep check on your gut
feelings as you read this book and experience other
material. Eventually your created image of death will be
replaced with the true reality of death.
MAKE
PEACE WITH LIFE
The
secret to an easy transition into the next dimension is
found by living life in a way that eliminates any loose
ends that entangle you to this life. This means that you
must make peace with life, which automatically
eliminates any loose ends. These unresolved issues can
and do affect your life, but for now we will focus on
how they affect your death.
To make
peace with life, you must make peace with all
experiences and people in your life. Begin by making
peace with everything and everyone around you. When you
make peace with life, you will automatically find peace
in death. A state of serenity during the death process
helps determine your transition experience. Therefore it
is important to spend time making peace with people,
issues, and emotions. Time and effort invested now can
pay off big later on.
If you
are angry at someone, this irritation plays over and
over in your consciousness and can keep you Earthbound.
Carried to an extreme, this negative frequency will keep
you from moving on spiritually. There are people who
die, yet refuse to move on to their higher good. They
become trapped at this lower vibrational frequency and
are unwilling and/or unable to move on. There are many
accounts of dead people who linger around the house
where they died, especially if they died violently. They
are trapped because their mental state has not allowed
them to move on. Being murdered can tend to spoil your
day, but there is no sense in allowing it to spoil your
eternity!
I am
sure you know people who became angry over some little
incident and stayed angry for years or even decades.
These are prime candidates for getting stuck. If you
happen to be one of these emotional flytraps, you'd
better start releasing now. Release old hurts, old
wounds, old issues, and old feelings. There is no magic
trick; just do it.
Read
and/or share comments about this article.
 This
article was excerpted from the book Exploring Life's
Last Frontier: The World of Death, Dying, and Letting Go,
©, by Dr. Heather Anne Harder. Reprinted with
permission of the publisher, Channel One Communications,
Needham, MA 02192.
Info/Order
this book.
Book also available from the author's website: www.harder2000.com
Other books by Ms.
Harder:
* Interdimensional
Communication: The Art and Science
of Talking to Ghosts,
Spirits, Angels and Other Dead People,
* Perfect
Power in Consciousness, and
* Many
Were Called-Few Were Chosen:
The Story of the
Earth-Based Volunteers.
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