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Fear
of the Dark
by
Sonia Choquette
 A common childhood fear is fear of
the dark. Many children become terrified of the dark and
can't go to sleep in a darkened room alone, convinced
the "bogeyman" or some other night creature is
waiting in the shadows to get them.
Different Like
Night & Day
I had a client whose son was
terrified of the dark. He was a perfectly adventurous
child during the day, extremely outgoing and interested
in discovering new things, but come nighttime he would
fall apart, begging not to be left alone. His parents
didn't understand these opposing tendencies. "What
is he so afraid of at night, when he's so confident
during the day?" they asked.
"It could be one of several
things," I said. "He might be losing touch
with your personal vibration in the night, which could
cause him alarm. Or he could become ungrounded in the
dark and feel too wide open and vulnerable. But probably
the biggest reason he has fear of the dark is that he
has learned, perhaps from you, that to be safe in life,
he has to be in control, and in the dark, he doesn't
know what is out there, so he can't control it. This
would definitely make him very afraid."
What To Do?
It doesn't really matter why a child
has a fear of the dark. The important point is to take
his fear seriously and help him overcome it and feel
more secure and grounded.
Family Bed
One solution is to let him sleep in
your room. Some parents do this, believing in the
"family bed". This sleeping arrangement is
very common in Europe and Asia but is not too popular in
the United States, where parents usually want their
privacy.
Lights On
Another solution is to allow him to
keep the lights on and the door open when he goes to
bed, in order to see what's "out there",
perhaps offering a night-light that isn't too bright so
it doesn't disturb his ability to unwind.
Aromatherapy
Another solution is to clear the
energy in the room with essential oils. Chamomile is a
wonderful essential oil for inducing calm and creating a
relaxing atmosphere that is perfect for sleep.
Smudging
Another solution is to
"smudge" his room with a "smudge
stick". This is a wand of dried sage and cedar,
available in most metaphysical bookstores. Smudge sticks
are Native American energy tools, designed to clear
energy and create sacred space. Smudging expels all
negative vibrations, leaving the atmosphere purified and
blessed. Smudging is especially effective for fearful
children if you explain to them what it is, what it is
used for, and even let them be the one to wave it around
the room.
Trusting
But the best way to reassure a child
who has a fear of the dark is to let him know that the
loving Universe is aware of him, is protecting him, and
will watch over him during the night, just as it does
during the day. Therefore he can trust that all is well,
and he doesn't have to try to control anything. You must
teach him not to worry, that the Universe is on the job
and will handle things for him. The only way for you to
do this, however, is to believe it yourself!
 This article was excerpted from
the book "The
Wise Child" ©1999 by Sonia Choquette Ph.D. Reprinted
with permission of the author. The Wise Child was published by Three Rivers Press, a
division of Crown Publishers, NYC, NY 10022.
Info/Order this book.
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SONIA
CHOQUETTE Ph.D. is the author of