I have a
seven-year-old Indigo son. I've been working as a teacher's
aide in his classrooms through preschool, kindergarten, and
now first grade, and I've observed his interactions with
Indigos and non-Indigos of all ages. It's been interesting! In
fact, trying to put it all down in writing has been a
challenge because the children do so many subtle things.
Indigos
process their emotions differently than non Indigos because
they have high self-esteem and strong integrity. They can read
you like an open book and quickly notice and neutralize any
hidden agendas or attempts to manipulate them, however subtly.
In fact, they can see your hidden agendas even if you can't!
They have inherently strong determination to work things
through for themselves and only want outside guidance if it's
presented to them with respect and within a format of true
choice. They prefer to work situations out for themselves.
They come in
with their intentions and gifts easily identifiable from
birth. They can suck up knowledge like a sponge, especially if
they like or are drawn to a subject, which makes them very
advanced in their areas of interest. Experiencing life helps
them learn best, so they create the experiences they need to
help them with their current problem or area where they need
to grow. They respond best when treated like a respected
adult.
Not only are
they masters at intuitively picking up on hidden agendas or
motives, but they are equally masterful at turning those
agendas back onto the people using them, especially their
parents. Psychological "button pushing" often causes
them to be labeled as nonconformists. If they notice that
there is a hidden motive behind your attempt to get them to do
something, they will resist strongly and feel perfectly
justified in doing so. From their point of view, if you're not
doing your work in the relationship, they can challenge you on
it.
When I called
them good "button pushers" what I really meant is
that they're working with us adults to help us recognize where
we are holding and using old, subtle patterns to manipulate
them, which used to work but will no longer. So if you are
constantly getting resistance from an Indigo, check yourself
first. They may be holding up a mirror for you, or be asking
you, in a nonconformist way, for help in finding new boundaries,
fine-tuning their own skills or talents, or going to the next
level of growth.
Indigos have
innate healing abilities that are usually already active;
however, they may not know that they are using them! The most
spectacular thing I observed was how they formed groups,
adjusting and spacing themselves, especially around another
child who might have been sick or upset sitting and blending
their energy field with that child's. Most often, they paired
up one on one, but sometimes they formed groups and sat in
either a triangular or diamond-shaped pattern. It wasn't done
in an obvious way, but very subtly. When finished, they were
off to something else.
It was
amazing. They just did it, but they didn't want to discuss it;
in some cases, they weren't even consciously aware of what
they were doing or why! It was so natural to them that if a
child needed something from the Indigos, they just went and
sat next to them for a while, not even necessarily talking,
and then they separated.
Another
interesting thing was that, off and on throughout the year,
the Indigos went through periods of attracting and repelling
each other, or periods of really needing each other's company
and then of not needing it. I'm not totally clear on
this, but it seems to coincide with individual personal
development. The closeness and concern they had for each other
was never lost during those periods of separation, but they
wouldn't go back together, either, until all was right for
them.
I'll give
you one little story regarding my Indigo son. Let me give you
the background: My husband and his family are Chinese
Americans, and I am of German/Finnish heritage.
My husband's family places great emphasis on education, and
the siblings were brought up with a strong need to succeed.
This still sometimes spills over onto their children, in the
form of whose are better, smarter, and faster. My husband and
I agree about not participating in all this competitiveness,
but that doesn't stop it from happening around us. To top it
off, consider that out of the five grandchildren, my son is
the only boy that is, the only male heir and I
think you'll get a pretty clear picture of the undercurrents.
We were at my
in-laws' house on Christmas day, and my son, who was almost
four years old at the time, was showing off his Millennium
Falcon (a Star Wars toy that was meant for a
six-year-old) that he had received from us that morning. It
was the giant one that opens up, and inside were all kinds of
little compartments, similarly but not identically shaped. He
wasn't interested in that portion of the toy at that time. He
was only interested in pretending to fly it and shoot the
rockets living out his fantasies. One of his uncles asked to
play with it and proceeded to take all the little doors off of
all the compartments. He handed them to my son in a pile and
asked, "Can you put this back together?"
It was a
setup! All the doors were the same color, and the differences
in shape and size were very subtle. Oh, and the tone of voice
he used like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. This uncle
has three daughters and a whole lot of personal agendas, so
his actions were not a total surprise, but . . . I absolutely
love what happened next.
I started to
intervene, and my son turned and looked me, dead in the eye,
with a look on his face I'll never forget. He looked at me to
see what I was going to do, and in the instant that it took
for him to read my intentions, which were of Mommy Lioness
I'm
not going to let this happen to my son he responded just
as quickly. He gave me a look that said, Back off, Mom, I'm
taking this one on myself, and I felt the energy shift as
he took command of the entire room. Everyone stopped talking
and turned to look over at him. He calmly
said to his uncle, "I don't know. I've never done that
before; let me see." Then he proceeded to put that thing
back together quickly and accurately!
When he was
done, the energy shifted again, and he looked over at me as if
to ask, "Was that okay?" I just smiled and said,
"Good job." Everyone there caught the double
meaning, including his uncle, who has never since done
anything like that to my son or to anyone else's child in our
presence.
No direct
comments were made that night about the situation. We all just
knew that we were each going to process it individually and
privately, each getting our own lesson all because this
little one decided to learn for himself.
Indigos are
born masters each and every one! We have to understand that
they fully expect every one of us to do what they are doing
naturally, and if we don't, they keep pushing our buttons
until we get it right that is, until we become the masters
of our own lives. So when my son did his thing, he taught
everyone there a quiet lesson, including himself.
For me, the
lesson was, let him go; despite his age, he is capable.
Stay aware and watch the process. The process in this case
was very interesting. He quickly and accurately sized up the
situation, and determined his response based on what he wanted
to experience. After making sure he had backup, he chose to
confront the person directly, and at that point, he
immediately called up all the energies necessary to complete
the task. Afterward, he released it all back just as quickly
and went back to his own business.
I've witnessed
many similar situations that he or other Indigos handled in
the same way. They will size up a situation and then choose
their actions based on what they want to experience at the
time. The only adjustments to this pattern that I've seen were
based on what type of backup they had. In a safe environment,
they have consistently used this pattern.
Safety is very
important, because all children need to feel safe to fully
explore their universe. For Indigos, safety means that it's
okay to do things differently! Giving everyone this space is
the best thing we can do for children and for ourselves.
This
article was excerpted with permission from "The Indigo
Children" by Lee Carroll and Jan Tober, published by Hay House, www.hayhouse.com
Info/Order this book.
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