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The Best Advice
by Marie T. Russell
As human beings, we seem to have developed
a tendency to look outside of ourselves for
the solutions to our problems. This may have
stemmed from our dependency as children -- our
needs were always taken care of -- we were
provided with food, shelter, and decisions
were always made "for us". Consequently,
we did not learn to do things for ourselves at
an early age. In addition, we grew up in a
society that saw children as incapable and
unaware... instead of seeing them as reborn
masters, or as souls that are simply
continuing their evolution.
When we encounter a challenge or difficulty
in our life, we run to someone else for the
solution. As a child, we ran to Mother... as
an adolescent, we ran to our best friend... as
an adult we run to our friends, our mate, or
to a counselor. While it is not good to
develop a dependency on others, these people can help us since
they provide a mirror in which we can see
ourselves. They reflect back to us our words,
our thoughts, and our feelings.
Have you noticed that at times, simply
talking about your "problem" seems
to shed light upon it? Then you see that the
answer was always there -- it simply hadn't
yet come
to light. We always know what it is that we
need to do... we oftentimes are simply reluctant
or hesitant to recognize it and to do
it.
Oftentimes when we ask someone for advice
and receive it, our thought is 'I knew they
would say that'. Of course, we knew it,
because all the answers we need are within our
own self, within our own intuitive
understanding of ourselves and what is
"right" for us. So we already knew
the answer... sometimes we simply need
confirmation to give us the extra confidence
to go forward.
If you're having trouble hearing your own
answers, start listening to the advice you
give others. All the great advice you have for
your friends, or even the unspoken suggestions
or criticisms you have for others around you,
is really for you. I find myself telling
people to be good to themselves, to take time
to smell the roses, all things I am learning
to do.
Everything we see in everyone else is
simply a reflection of issues or qualities we
are exploring in ourselves, so we can heed the
advice we give to others, because they are
simply letting us see ourselves. When we say
that everyone is our reflection, what that
really means is both a "positive"
mirror and a "reverse" or crazy
mirror. Sometimes we learn because someone is
doing the exact opposite of us, and we either
see something inspiring in that action...
either inspiring us to follow the same path,
or motivating us to stay away.
In other
words... my grandfather was an alcoholic. My
father had a choice... mirror his father and
become an alcoholic, or see that he didn't
care for that reflection, and choose not to
drink. (Luckily for me, he chose the latter.)
The mirror simply shows us an image... then we
decide what to do with the information it
provides. In a physical sense, if you look in
the mirror and see that your hair is all
disheveled, you can say "so what" or
you can take the time and effort to comb it
and "get your act together". The
mirror simply shows you something... you
decide what to do.
You can also
look in the mirror of other people's faces and
lives. My mother was a "devoted
workaholic"... she was a school teacher
who always took work home with her, and she
had numerous obligations to a church group as
well. My choice, as I see my self reflected in
her, is what path do I choose...workaholism or
balance? When I look at my grandfather...
though I may reject his image as my
reflection, perhaps if I ask myself "why
was he an alcoholic?", I may find some
mirror image there as well... Was it a lack of
confidence in his ability to succeed, or
perhaps some disappointment in that he didn't
quite live up to expectations? I do not know
for sure what his reasons were, but my
reflecting on it brings me some insights on
myself.
Some of the
mirror images are not ones we really like to
acknowledge... yet they are there for a
purpose. The lady in front of you in line at
the cash register who is being rude and
obnoxious is reminding you that you have a
choice. Perhaps you have tendencies to be
rude? or perhaps your tendency is to judge
others who are? Whatever it is, there is a
message you can glean from her presence to
help you along your path or healing and
balance.
We can use
every situation in our lives, and every person
with whom we interact, to ask ourselves the
following (especially when the situation or
person "pushes our buttons"):
"What is the message here? What advice
would I give that person? How does that advice
apply to me?" You'll be amazed at what
you'll discover.
Your best counselor is indeed yourself. You
have all the answers and the solutions. You
simply need to start asking... and listening
to yourself. Then miracles will take place.
You'll find that you can be, and know how to
be, happy, healthy, and free.
RECOMMENDED
BOOK:
Awakening the Real You: Awareness through Dreams & Intuition
by
Nancy C. Pohle & Ellen L. Selover.
Info/Order
book.
About The
Author
Marie
T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner
Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem,
personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and
reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.
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