Who's To Judge?
by Marie T. Russell
Over the past few years, numerous teachings about
unconditional love and acceptance have come to our attention. Many of us have
begun to realize the importance of being nonjudgmental and accepting people the
way they are. Individually, we all may not have attained the reality of this
practice in our moment-to-moment existence - however, we are aware of it, and
have set this realization as an attainable goal. Ideally, we all want to be in
a constant state of total unconditional acceptance. However, in your zeal to
become 'unconditional' have you overlooked yourself? Have you been able to stop
judging and accept the inconsistencies that occasionally cause you to fall
short of the mark?
When we embark on the 'spiritual' path, we begin judging
ourselves (and sometimes judge others) as not being 'spiritual' enough. In the
past, some people whipped themselves physically when they judged themselves to
have sinned. In this modern day and age, we, at times, chose instead to whip
ourselves mentally and emotionally.
How many of us have internal beliefs that sound like this:
"I'm so stupid. I can never do anything right. I'm selfish. I don't deserve..."
(cancel). Many of us were raised with an internal belief of being a sinner. We
were told that we were born sinners. With programs like this running the show
within, no wonder we are harsh on ourselves. We get 'down' on ourselves for
still not getting it right. We strive to be unconditionally accepting, and when
we aren't, we berate ourselves for our behavior. When we don't attain our
goals, we judge ourselves as no good, or at least not good enough. It is time
to fire our self-appointed judge and jury.
We must begin to forgive ourselves for believing we were bad
and begin to stop acting as if we are fallen angels. We need to realize that we
are only 'fallen' when we choose to believe that we are. If we realize that we
are truly good, and live according to that belief, things will come into place.
We are emerging from a time of believing ourselves to be Sinners—to knowing we
are Winners, when we live according to our inner truth and light.
More understanding and patience toward ourselves is a must. Unconditional
love and acceptance must also reside within us and for us. We must realize
that, as with any new skill, it takes time to make it an automatic part of our
lives. For instance, when you began to ride a bike, you probably fell a few
times before achieving the right balance; when you learned to ski, you didn't
slalom down the hill at high speeds the first few times, etc. It is the same
with learning to release behaviors from our insecure and guilt-ridden past.
It is essential to realize that we are like children
learning something new, and we need to have compassion for our mistakes. I feel
that if we were 'perfect', in other words, if we have learned all that this
'school of life' has to teach us—then we would not be here. By the very fact of
our existence on this topsy-turvy planet, we know that we still have not
graduated... we still have some things to learn.
Remember being in grade school? Does a child in grade 3
criticize himself for not knowing everything that a grade 10 student knows?
That child may wish s/he had that knowledge, but knows it is not 'her or his
fault' for not yet being at that level.
So it is with life. If you are still in grade 3 in the
school of life (or grade 6 or 10), be compassionate with yourself. You still
have a ways to go. Do the best you can with the knowledge you now have, and
forgive yourself when you don't pass the daily tests. Simply make a conscious
decision to strive to do better next time and let go of the guilt-ridden
thoughts, need for punishment, and self-criticism.
You are a student of life, love, and inner peace. As a
student, you are expected to make 'mistakes' and to strive to correct them.
Guilt, self-afflicted judgment and punishments are not required of you. Let
that stuff go! They can only hamper you in your movement forward into the light
of total love and acceptance.
Blessed be the children that we truly are! |
