Are
You Holding Back?
by
Marie T. Russell
There are so many things we humans
tend to hold back on. We repress a lot of our emotions,
whether they are considered 'good' or 'bad'
ones.
Sometimes we hold back on expressing
our love for fear of being misunderstood, or perhaps
thinking the timing is not 'right'. Most commonly,
we have been taught to hold back on our 'negative'
emotions — fear, anger, sorrow, pain, etc.
As a child, I was often told to
squelch those emotions that demonstrated 'weakness'.
I held back my tears in order to appear strong. I
repressed my anger to be a 'good girl' and 'loving'.
Yet, I now realize that holding back
anger or any other emotion affects negatively the person
who is holding back. The anger I refused to let out
stayed locked up inside, fermented, and gave rise to all
kinds of poison. Frustrations and anger were withheld,
only to explode when I'd 'had enough'. This anger
later had to be released through illness, situations
where the anger was unleashed at someone or something
else (or at myself), or through therapy.
What happens when you feel anger
(consciously or sub-consciously) but want to hide it?
Whatever we hold back becomes a part of us and gets
stored in our body as a tangible manifestation in the
form of headaches, tension, pain, illness, ulcers,
cancer, arthritis, back pain, and many other physical
ailments.
Of course, we feel that by holding
back on expressing our anger we are doing the 'right'
thing and not hurting anyone. Yet, little do we know,
the other person may need to hear what we have to say,
just as much as we need to express it.
Of course, we need to learn how to
express our anger or discontent without 'dumping' on
the other. We can express ourselves without destroying
the other person's sense of self-worth or attacking
them emotionally, verbally, or physically.
Expressing our deepest feelings also
applies to expressing feelings of love and appreciation.
How many times have we felt gratefulness towards another
being, sometimes just for their presence in our life,
and failed to express it? That person may really need to
hear your words of praise to give them a boost in their
own self-esteem. Maybe they are unaware of what you so
clearly see in them.
I have found that at times when I
expressed feelings of gratitude and love to
others, they were surprised at the way I saw them. Never
assume that the other person knows how much you
appreciate them. If you think it and feel it, then say
it.
Our rational mind has been well
trained to dissect and analyze. It likes to hold back on
acting instinctively and instead question scientifically
what is the 'right' action to take. So, we've held
our true selves back, and not expressed that inner
inspiration to laugh, cry, scream, give a hug, or say a
kind word when our first feeling guided us to do so.
Whatever first thought or feeling
comes to you is your intuition, or in other words, your
divine inspiration. Any other thoughts that follow, i.e.
"maybe I shouldn't say that", etc., are only your
mind (ego) doubting and questioning, afraid of making a
'mistake'.
The best thing to do is to follow
your first instinct, your inner guidance, which comes as
the first feeling or thought. That is your 'God-self'.
The universal power of Love guides us towards happiness,
and that is why our first instinct is always the one
that will bring us true happiness and inner peace.
We can choose to let go of the fear
of being wrong, or appearing ridiculous, etc., and act
on our feelings. Be true to yourself. Holding back is
only postponing the truth and can harm the other as well
as ourselves. Holding back is postponing the freedom to
be who we really are — loving, truthful children who
desire to be happy and free from negativity.
Let go! Express your truth today! You
and your world will be better for it.
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