I Can't Do That Because...

by Marie T. Russell

How many times have you stopped yourself from doing something you really wanted to do? Have you ever justified your inaction by saying 'I can't because.....'?

We sometimes seem to have a whole slough of reasons why 'not to do' something. These range from "because I don't have the time or money", to "because they — my mother, my friend, my boss, my mate, society, etc. — might disapprove." 

Yet all of these are simply a retaining wall. We stop ourselves from living the life we desire due to a series of imagined problems or restrictions. Rather than focus on the present, we have focused on the future and imagined it to be other than according to our wishes and dreams.

A friend who lives near a ski-slope mentioned that she hasn't gone skiing in the five years that she has lived there. Why? Because she can't afford to go regularly, and once would not be enough. So rather than enjoy the present and go skiing, even if only once, she chooses to abstain from going at all. That reminds me of the saying "better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all".

I really got upset when she told me of her attitude. My initial reaction was impatience and judgment, with her as the target (of course). I felt self-righteous in commenting that it is better to enjoy life NOW even if only for five minutes than to postpone it to a later date, if not indefinitely. 

Then, Higher Self stepped in to remind me that everything 'out there' is a mirror image of something 'in here' and that I might choose to look at how I also showed that behavior in my life. Now of course since I live in Florida, my scenario doesn't include ski-hills, yet, how do I postpone my good and attribute it to some 'because' or other?

The first thing that comes to mind is that often when I have felt like taking a day to relax, my mind has stepped in with 'You know you have lots of work to do and you can't take the day 'off' because you have a deadline to meet...' Yet, on the other hand, I know that when I do listen to my desire to take time for myself, I return to the office refreshed, full of energy, happy to be there, and much more efficient.

O.K. that was an easy one to spot. Yet something tells me that there are other situations in which you and I exhibit this type of behavior. Let's make a list. (The process of making a list works well as it accesses the sub-conscious and lets the truth come out.)

Take a fresh sheet of paper and write at the top: 
A reason I stop myself  from manifesting my good is..... 

And then write whatever comes to mind. It may be something 'foolish' like 'because I'm stupid.' O.K. while you may not consciously agree, apparently your sub-conscious has that belief about you. Anything that comes up is a sub-conscious block on your path to experiencing a life of pleasure and enjoyment.

Once you have written your list, look at your 'reasons' and cancel out mentally and verbally those which are obvious untruths. On those others which definitely ring a bell, you may wish to work with affirmations to re-program your 'mental computer.' So (for example) if one of your 'reasons' was that you don't deserve happiness, a good affirmation to repeat to yourself would be 'I deserve the best! I am good enough!'

The next step is to keep ears and eyes open to see where in your day to day activities (and thoughts), you block yourself from your good with a 'because'. Don't let old programming ruin your life and take the joy out of living.

Take a look at your thoughts and your patterns and weed out the negative programs that trip you up. Take charge of your life and let your guide be the joy within.

Don't stop yourself from enjoying the now because of an imagined tomorrow or a remembered yesterday. Take a look at how you're stopping yourself from being happy. It's all up to you, no buts (or because) about it.

Recommended book on this topic: 

Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling
by Wayne W. Dyer.

For more info or to order this book

About The Author

Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.

Printer Friendly Page