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Taking Sides?
by Marie T. Russell
Whenever there's an argument or a controversy, it seems that we automatically
take sides. Let's face it, even as far back as the story of Adam and Eve, humans
were taking sides. In some ways, every time we make a choice we are taking
sides. If you choose to be a vegetarian, some people might see that as being
"against" meat (and thus meat-eaters). If you choose to be a
non-smoker, then you may have a tendency to be "against" smoking (and
have a lot of anger towards smoking in your presence).
It seems that we see things as black and white; this against that; good
against evil; mine against yours, etc. Nowhere is this more prevalent today than
in the situation in the Middle East.
War. Such a short word, not even a four-letter word, but a thousand times
more powerful. A million times more hurtful than any four-letter word you might
throw at someone.
War. It's been going on for millennia. In university, my minor was history.
And I recall most specifically one course that was entitled "The History of
Human Conflict". The main thing I remember is coming to a realization that
war was not a current situation, or even a new one. It had been going on since
the beginning of recorded history (and of course, before that). I remember
asking myself, as many people do, When will we ever learn?
I used to blame wars on greedy, power-hungry people (or rulers). But then, it
is always easy to blame and say that it's "somebody else's fault".
Perhaps we need to look deeper in people's psyche to see where war really
resides.
What is war anyway? One of Webster's definitions is "any active
hostility". Hum. Any active hostility. So if I am angry (hostile) about
someone blowing cigarette smoke in my face, then I'm at war. If I take sides in
a conflict, and have "an attitude" towards the other group, I'm at
war. Why even in sports when we shout degrading remarks to the other team (or
the referee) and we are being "actively hostile", we are at war.
I've been receiving a lot of forwarded email about the war in the Middle East…
most of it taking sides. The writers are either giving reasons why Israelis are
"right" in fighting the Palestinians, or giving reasons why
Palestinians are in the "right". And as in any situation, there are
always two sides to every story. As far as I'm concerned, both "sides"
are right and both are wrong.
But the reality of it is that while anyone is considering who's right and
who's wrong, there's no chance of any peace. While we're busy trying to figure
out whose "side" we should be on, we still are engaging in an "us
against them" scenario, also known as war.
The only solution to any conflict, including the one in the Middle East, is
to start looking at a situation from the perspective of peace, love, and
balance. Every human being has the right to live in peace and in harmony with
their neighbors. Maybe if we were not so concerned about taking sides, about
who's right, about who's wrong, and more concerned about healing the wounds on
all sides, then we could get a peaceful resolution.
Whose side am I on? I'm on the side of life. I'm on the side of love,
respect, harmony, and peace. I'm on the side of equal opportunities for all --
equal right to have a roof over our head, equal right to be alive, equal right
to have a corner of earth where we can plant lettuce and flowers.
When the astronauts saw the earth from outer space, they did not see lines
demarcating where one country started and another ended. There are no borders
between countries other than those made up by man. There is no difference in the
color of our blood, whether we are Chinese, Caucasian, Black, or whatever. We
all have a heart beating in our body, and that heart is pumping blood that is
the same color. We all have the same mechanical make-up: brain, eyes, nose,
ears, heart, lungs, liver, etc. We are all "related".
We need to stop putting up barriers between countries and peoples. So what if
you're brown, and someone else is yellow, and someone else is white? Do we
segregate according to hair color, shoe size, and height? Why is skin color such
a big thing? Why is genetic inheritance such a dividing factor? Most of us, if
we traced our genealogy far back enough, might be surprised at the mixture that
is found in our veins (and that's without knowing what sometimes took place
behind the woodsheds).
When I lived in Jamaica, I remember that people used to refer to me as
"the white lady", and my reply was usually, "I'm not white. I'm
light brown." (I had a good tan at the time.) And I'd show them a piece of
clothing that was white and say "Now, that's white. Am I that color?"
Granted, they were probably referring to my "financial" color. My skin
color identified me as coming from a country that was "richer" than
they were. Yet, what does skin color really show? Many people are
"white" but are poor; many Arabs are not Palestinians, or not
terrorists for that matter.
When I traveled in Israel, I remember having difficulty telling apart the
Israelis that were originally from Mediterranean countries and the Arabs living
in Israel. To me, they looked the same. They all had Mediterranean or
Middle-Eastern facial features They could have been cousins. And, if you go back
to your bible, then you see that they are, since they're actually descendants of
Abraham. It's a family feud that goes on and on, and no one remembers what
started it. It has been going on and on out of habit (and handed-down
prejudices).
There is now some new scientific research that shows that all modern humans
are descended from one woman… and that woman was from the continent of Africa.
How's that for throwing a monkey wrench in the "us against them"
viewpoints of a whole bunch of people. Not only are we all related within 7000
generations, but we're all African (and thus possibly Muslim as well).
OK, maybe that's stretching to make a point, but, we are all human. We are
all inhabitants of one planet, and if we keep blowing each other up, killing
each other and other species, we're going to end up with a dead planet with no
live inhabitants.
Let's recognize our oneness, our common humanity, and start helping each
other rather than fighting each other and taking sides. If we all were willing
to work together at creating a better place to live for all, then there would be
no cause for war. If we can start moving away from the "us or them",
the "who's right and who's wrong" attitudes, then we can live as one
people on one planet.
I know, you're saying that's easy to say. Well, yes it is, so let's
all start saying it. Unless we start saying it to each other, to our
governmental representatives, to the people in other countries, then we don't
stand a chance. Every great invention started as an idea. Well, world peace also
has to start with an idea, and it must be spread and spread until it becomes the
idea of the majority, and then can become reality.
Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., and Nelson Mandela also had ideas. They had
ideas about changing their current reality by nonviolence. They had an idea that
things could change and that change did not have to come about through force,
killing, and war. They had an idea that they shared and then other people shared
and it became reality.
Michael Moore in his bestselling book "Stupid
White Men" has a letter to President Arafat where he suggests
that the Palestinians simply lay down in the streets in nonviolent protest --
that they stop going to work, that they stop throwing bombs, that they stop
everything. That they simply block the streets with their bodies, effectively
stopping all traffic, business, and movement of war machines. As he mentions, it
worked for Gandhi, so it can work for them. Nonviolence is possible and it does
get results, results that we will feel better about than the results of war and
terrorism.
Rather than takes sides, we need to choose peace for all! Choose equal rights
for all. No one owns the planet. No one owns a country. If the planet decides to
"take back" its territory, it does so without concern as to who owns
it. When a hurricane hits, or a flood, or a tornado, or a drought, it does so
without concern of whose property it is, or whose country it is, or what
language people are speaking.
Maybe if we saw things more from the perspective of nature, we'd be in a lot
better situation today. Nature does not pick sides. It does not
"prefer" one individual, or even one species, over another. While
"survival of the fittest" has been a rule that we attribute to nature,
we forget to see that collaboration is the greatest tool nature has. Bees make
honey by pollinating flowers, which then permits the flowers to make fruits and
seeds. Forest fires help release seeds for new growth. Fallen leaves make
compost for new trees and new plants to flourish. A fruit tree has an abundance
of fruits thus ensuring enough for people to eat as well as for extras to fall,
rot, and create new trees, thus new fruit.
Nature is about cooperation and continuity. Nature does not pick sides: it
simply gives every plant a fair chance to life. The sun shines on everyone
regardless of their size, race, language, or opinions. Can we not do the same?
Forget our old quarrels, our old grievances, our old prejudices, and start
looking at everyone on earth as another person just like us… who simply wants
a chance to live in harmony and peace and with a fair chance at happiness?
As John Lennon said "Let's give peace a chance." To do that we need
to stop taking sides and choose peace for all. Let's put our heads together and
see how we can create a win-win situation. There is no need to continue fighting
until things escalate to a point of no return. Let's give peace a chance. Let's
not take sides, except the side of humanity in general, of life for all, of
peace on earth.
What the world needs now is love… not just for one, but for everyone."
And it starts with me, it starts with you. It starts in the heart and minds of
every single human being, one person at a time. It continues with your
conversations with your friends and neighbors. It grows by you contacting your
governmental representatives, with writing letters, with spreading the vision.
It gains power by our taking actions that contribute to peace both in our close
relationships and on the world stage.
Change can take place with our participation. First we have a vision, then we
take the actions to help that vision come true. Ask yourself what you can do? It
can be small, it can be big. Each person has their own "divine
purpose", their role to play. What can you do today to contribute to world
peace? End a feud with a co-worker or a relative? Learn to be at peace with
yourself? Write a letter or email to your governmental representatives saying
that you want a peaceful harmonious resolution to war and that you want to
protect our environment? Talk to your neighbors about your viewpoint? Send money
to organizations that are working for peace and to feed and educate the hungry?
The game of life goes on with each of us playing our part. There's are things
you can do. And you're the only one that knows in your heart what you can do and
what you're inspired to do. The ball's always in your court and it's always your
turn to play!
RECOMMENDED
BOOK: You Can Heal Your Life/101 by
Louise Hay.
If you do the exercises progressively as they appear
in the book, by the time you have finished, you will have begun to change your
life....Each chapter opens with an affirmation. Each of these is good to use
when you are working on that area of your life.
Info/Order this book.
About The
Author
Marie
T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner
Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem,
personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and
reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.
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