Loving
Unconditionally...
What's It
All About?
by Marie T. Russell
One
hears a lot these days about 'Unconditional Love'.
The dictionary defines unconditional as 'absolute,
with no conditions or reservations'. Thus, to love
unconditionally is to love with no restrictions, no
qualifications, no 'I love you... but...'.
Do you love
yourself and others unconditionally? Do you love and
approve of yourself and others even when a 'foul-up'
occurs or when a behavior is not one you judge 'right'?
Have you achieved that ideal state of being, even once
in a while? To love
yourself and others no matter what the situation is.
There
are certain states of mind that will make it easier for
you to love yourself and others with no reservations.
The first is to accept things and people (including
yourself) the way they
are. This does not mean that you do not want any
changes. Instead this means that you love them the way
they are now, you accept that they are 'good enough',
and desire them to become more of who they really are:
their highest self.
Another
state of mind is patience and understanding... The same
patience one has with a small child that is learning to
walk, or to talk. When a child stumbles or when a child
speak in strange incomprehensible words, we don't laugh
at the child, mocking it, giving it a hard time and
making it feel bad. We have understanding and patience.
We understand that the child is learning, growing, and
moving towards mastery of these new skills they are
learning.
So it is
with "adult learners". We are all learning to
be masters of life and love... thus we all deserve
patience and understanding. The people in our lives, no
matter how trying they may seem at times, also deserve
our patience and understanding. They too are struggling
with mastering the skills needed to be happy and
fulfilled in this existence on Planet Earth.
Thus the
first steps towards Unconditional love include patience,
understanding, and acceptance of what is. To
create a world for yourself where unconditional love
abounds, you can also hold the thought that the
world is a friendly place. As thought is creative, you
will indeed attract to yourself a friendly world. Your
attitude will bring out the best in people. You will be
a factor in inspiring others to opt for their highest
thought.
It is sometimes difficult to love unconditionally when some person or situation has 'pushed your
button', so to speak. You have a choice as to how to
react. You can get angry, you can pout, you can pretend that nothing is happening
(ignore the person and event), or perhaps, a
better way to handle it is to deal with the situation or
person in a non-attached way. Taking care of what needs
to be done, responding with patience and understanding,
and moving on.
Non-attachment does not imply non-caring; being
non-attached, emotionally, physically, psychically, and
intellectually is an active process of expressing your
feelings NOW, releasing them, being done with it, and
moving on. This can be done honestly and in a caring
way.
Unconditional
love has to do with always coming from a loving, giving,
and responsive viewpoint, recognizing the value and
worth of yourself and others, and thereby producing a
state of pleasure. Unconditional love is the highest
truth and is not afraid to tell it. Know that you are
living in a world that loves you as much as you love it,
where you are an inspiration because you love, and you
are not-attached to the results.
Loving
unconditionally is not always easy, as it involves speaking the
truth, yet doing so without withholding love. It means
acknowledging that while you may not approve of a person's
behavior, you still honor and recognize the Divine Being
that they really are. It means that even if someone
doesn't behave in a way that you want them too, you
still recognize the fact that they are a Being worthy of
love and respect. No, they may not be
"perfect" according to your definition of that
term... Yes, you might be able to see many ways that
they could "improve" themselves and their
lives... Yes, you might think that you would do better
in their situation... Yet, unconditional love means
giving people the space to make their own choices, their
own mis-takes, their own successes.
Just as
we let children learn how to walk, we need to let the
people in our lives learn "how to be"... and
just as we give a child plenty of love and moral support
while they're learning to walk and talk, so with the
people in our lives, whether they're family or
co-workers or friends or someone in the grocery store
(or ourselves), we need to also give them love and moral
support to assist them in discovering their own path
toward Unconditional Love...
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and/or leave comments on this article here.
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