Relationship Questions

by Hans Keller &
MaryEllen O'Brien

Listed below are a few of the questions one should consider before marriage (and even for current married relationships).

1. Do you agree on the importance of monogamy to protect the relationship?
2. What are your attitudes toward education and its place in your lives individually and as a family?
3. Is forgiveness an essential element of your relationship?
4. Are your career/vocation goals compatible?
5. How important is material wealth to each of you?
6. Do you share a desire for children?
7. Have you discussed your personal ethics?
8. Do you share political views?
9. What is your financial situation as you enter the marriage?
10. Do you both plan on working?
11. Who will handle the family accounts?
12. Do you cultivate honesty and good communication skills with each other?
13. Do you share attitudes toward charitable giving?
14. What are your attitudes toward the use of credit cards?
15. What are your attitudes toward issues of race, gender and sexual preference?
16. What is your vision for the world?
17. Do you practice a particular religion?
18. Do you agree on the spiritual upbringing of any children you might have?
19. Do you feel a need to "convert" your partner?
20. Have you discussed your health history with each other? If the answer is no, start now!
21. Are you tolerant of spiritual views that differ from your own?
22. Do you respect each others need for some solitude?
23. What are your attitudes towards alcohol, drugs, and smoking?
24. What are your attitudes toward holistic medicine?
25. Is there any history of abuse, sexual or otherwise, for either partner, or in their families?
26. Do you accept that you may grow spiritually at different paces?
27. Do your partner's lifestyle habits irritate you?
28. How do you handle conflict?
29. If you have been married before, what's different this time?
30. Has your partner ever forced sex when you didn't want it?
31. What do you expect of each other in terms of division of household chores, cooking, home maintenance, etc.
32. Do you understand and respect each others needs for foreplay?
33. Do you feel unfulfilled if your lovemaking doesn't lead to orgasm every time?

Another article by these authors:
Can Divorce Be Predicted?

About The Author

The above was excerpted with permission from "Marriage - Heart To Heart Questions to Discuss Before You Say `I Do'!", by Hans J. Keller/MaryEllen O'Brien, ©1994, published by VisionLink Education Foundation, P.O. Box 4247, South Burlington, VT 05406. 802-863-2726.

This article was
excerpted from 

"Marriage - Heart to Heart Questions to Discuss Before You Say I Do" by Hans J. Keller and MaryEllen O'Brien.
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