How to Heal a Broken Heart

by Elisha Gabriell

I recovered from a broken heart. Not a "hurt" heart. Not a wounded heart. A truly broken heart. The man I had been deeply in love with, and believed was my life-partner, was not in love with me.

Because I believe that we do create a large part of our personal realties, I decided to take an active part in my healing process. I hurt too deeply to simply leave it to "time". Here is my 7 step heartbreak recovery program.

1. Make a conscious decision to heal.

The first very important step is to make a conscious vow that you will heal your heart as quickly as possible. You must want to be on the "other side of lonely".

Sometimes our conscious intention is overshadowed by our unconscious desires. As an example: if you're trying to lose weight, and restricting carbs, fats, or calories, a part of you is inspired, committed, and excited to see yourself 10- 20 lbs. lighter. At the end of the second week, another voice within begins to take more prominence within your consciousness. "I don't want to go my whole life without eating pizza", it says. Or, "This is way too much of a struggle!! I really should learn to accept myself as I am."

Another example would be if you are trying to create financial abundance but a part of you believes that you might be enticed to lose your values if you were really rich, then it is unlikely that you'll ever be able to create any kind of lasting financial success!

If part of you wants to heal yourself, but other parts want to hold on to the pain, recovery may then be slow. The best way to find out what's deep inside is to close your eyes and ask yourself.

The answers that come from the various aspects of self may seem very illogical, or just really silly! It's important to let all of your emotional thoughts and beliefs be expressed. You'll see shortly how nutty some of my inner voices have been! The whole point is that if you don't know what's inside of you, how can you work with yourself to create your dreams? If part of you is holding you back, communicate with it and offer alternatives and solutions that appeal to all of those little, but important aspects of your Self.

Before I began my program for healing, I sat in bed one night, propped up by my pillows, my notebook on my lap. To be sure that all parts of me wanted to proceed with ending my suffering, I closed my eyes, took a few long, slow deep breaths, and asked my own subconscious,

"What might be the benefits of hanging on to this pain?" 

I was truly surprised to receive two immediate responses.

"If I move past this too quickly, he may call and want me in his life, but I'll already be over him. Then I really will lose him for good." (This part of me doesn't want to believe that it's really over, and wants me to remember him, just in case!) and

"The pain will remind you that this was an important lesson that is not to be taken lightly. You were aware of the repeating behavior from his side, but kept hanging on and hanging on, anyway. You did not listen to your own inner wisdom!: (This part of me wants me to feel the pain so that I don't repeat this pattern with any future loves.)

Those were my subconscious beliefs about the benefits of suffering. Yours could be completely different, but just as "creative". You may believe that if he (or she) hears through the grapevine how dramatically you are suffering, he will come to his senses and realize that he could never love anyone as much as he loves you! (Yeah, right!)

All parts of you must be willing to move on if you want a speedy recovery. Do this simple exercise. Honor the thoughts that are expressed, learn a little more about yourself, and be willing to move into alignment with your new goal of healing.

2. Nurture yourself on every level.

Treat yourself kindly! Go to a restaurant that you've been wanting to try. Ask your best friend to join you. Try one of those chocolate truffles that you've been resisting. Go to bed early with a great book. Treat yourself to a massage. Give yourself lots of messages that you are a wonderful person who deserves to be treated well.

Exercise! When you're depressed and gloomy, nothing gets the energy moving (and your mood with it) as quickly as a good work-out. Exercise nurtures your body by giving it the strength and vitality it needs to be healthy and strong. It nurtures your emotional self by leaving you with the radiant glow of increased energy and self-esteem. A good workout, walk, or session on your exercise bike leaves you with the feeling that you can do anything! Try it - it works!

Be in Nature as often as you can. Walk in the park or hiking trails. Immerse yourself in the emerald light of the sun, as it illuminates the trees along your path. Listen to the songs of the birds as they call and answer, and stake territories. Life is all around you! Let its beauty fill the empty places inside. Open to the pulses and rhythms of the healing energies of the Earth Mother.

3. Use Visualization

Visualization can be a powerful way of moving stagnant energy and allowing healing to begin. The following is an example of many visualizations that I've created on the spur of the moment. Be creative and allow every hour of your day to become an opportunity for healing.

As the sun comes up in the Eastern horizon, stand at your window. Let the rays of light gently illuminate your heart center. Feel the liquid golden fire of the sun slowly driving out all of the darkness in your heart. Let this light expand throughout your being until you feel strong, radiant, and whole. Breathe... and begin your day.

As I was driving down the freeway, my favorite song of the moment came on the radio. I sang "Safe in the Arms of Love" by Martin McBride, and felt the arms of God/Great Spirit enfold me and hold me. I felt safe... loved!

At the place where she sings, "Gonna hang my heartaches out to dry," I visualized taking a blanket of dark energy from my heart center and hanging it on the line in the bright sunshine, under a brilliant blue sky.

I watched it flap in the breeze and slowly turn a soft pink color. Love-energy began to radiate from it, my spirit felt light and happy, and my imaging was complete.

Use symbols that suggest your personal feelings of love, safety, and happiness. You can turn darkness into light if you choose to!

4. Do something new!

This is the beginning of a new cycle in your life. Greet it with excitement! Now is your time to focus completely on yourself. What are the things that make you happy?

Get a catalog from your local "free university" or Adult Ed. Classes. Request a list of events from you local convention center. Sign up for something that you've always wanted to do. You'll meet new people, and be proud of yourself for exploring another aspect of the multi-faceted person that is you!

What did I do? I attended the Sportman's Show at our local convention center, and signed up for a women's Fly-fishing class. We had a glorious day on the Arkansas River in Salida, CO. I made many hilarious mistakes (as did everyone!) enjoyed being immersed in Nature, and had a blast! Caught 3 rocks and a bush! I learned a little bit more about myself - it's not the actual fishing that I enjoy, it's being surrounded by Nature. I'm just as happy to sit on the bank and read or watch the sky and water.

The point to doing something different and new is that you get a large clue that there is life outside of your past relationship. It lifts you out of your current situation and gives you something different to think about. This is a good thing!

Continued on the next page:
* Plant-based vibrational remedies;
* Keep track of your progress;
* Expect an ebb and flow;
* How Long Will It Take?

Book by this author:

White Buffalo and the Rainbow Warrior
by Elisha Gabriell.
Info/Order book

About The Author

At the age of 38, Elisha Gabriell went through a shamanic initiation in which spirit-teachers spoke about her life path -- the path of beauty and the path of joy. Her newly published book, "White Buffalo and the Rainbow Warrior" details her experience of opening to the sacred Oneness of all life. Through Elisha's visionary experience, we come to understand that all of life is sacred. Visit her website at www.ElishaGabriell.com.

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