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BOOK REVIEW:
After
The Darkest Hour:
How Suffering Begins the
Journey to Wisdom
by
Dr. Kathleen Brehony
Publisher: Henry Holt
Inc.
Reviewed by Adair
Stephenson
In
this remarkable book on growing through and beyond suffering, Kathleen
Brehony recounts the story of Kisagotami, a young woman, married to a
wealthy man, who bore with him a beautiful son. Just after the boy began
to walk on his own, he became sick and died. Kisagotami was inconsolable,
and went to the Buddha for help. He asked her to bring back a mustard seed
from any house that has not known death. Kisagotami wandered from house to
house but was not able to find one whose occupants had not known the pain
and loss of death. Through a wealth of stories, from many spiritual traditions
as well as the lives of individuals, Brehony addresses the universal
nature of loss and suffering. She does so very honestly and
straightforwardly, making it clear that suffering is part of the human
condition and not a form of cosmic punishment, or "bad luck".
Brehony
is a wonderful storyteller, and there is much that the reader can relate
to in the stories she tells. She does not just address the ultimate loss
of death, but the many ways in which change (also universal) brings with
it loss in many forms. But what is so inspiring about this book is how the
author treats the subject. She does so with eyes wide open, with
compassion and empathy, but also with truthfulness. Brehony talks about
the stages of loss, about the pain -- and the promise -- of life's 'dark
nights of the soul'. Instead of platitudes, she offers the possibility of
growth through challenge. In fact, she makes clear that it is only through
loss that we are able to really grow spiritually, and become the people we
were meant to be.
There
is much food for thought in this book, philosophical and inspirational,
but there is practical guidance as well. In the book's second half,
Brehony offers 'Twelve Strategies for Growing Through the Pain'.
I
recommend this book for anyone in the midst of a challenge or heartache,
as well as anyone who knows someone who is suffering, and wonders how to
help them.
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K