General George S. Patton said, “Success is how high you bounce after you’ve hit bottom.” An important key for recovery from fear and worry is to practice, practice, practice, with patience and perseverance.

When you want to get better at anything, you must practice at it. If you want to learn piano, you play it regularly and try to improve. If you hit a clinker, you start over or go on. When you practice hitting a baseball, sometimes you don’t connect and you strike out. It happens. But you keep at it. Babe Ruth struck out more times than anyone in baseball — but he also led the American League in home runs for twelve seasons.

Setting Small Realistic Goals & Applauding Small Successes

As you begin measured risk-taking, applaud yourself for trying. The point is to get going and to set small, realistic goals. Small successes are wonderful stepping stones. Build on them. When you feel you haven’t succeeded with a goal, keep at it.

Thomas Edison experienced nearly two thousand failures when perfecting the light bulb. When he finally succeeded, someone asked if he felt bad that he had so many failures. He quickly replied that he absolutely did not feel bad at all. He had simply discovered two thousand ways not to make a light bulb.

Set Your Frame of Mind to Learning... not Perfection

Take responsibility for turning your own negatives into positives. When your frame of mind is to learn rather than to be perfect, failures can be wonderful teachers and motivators. Be gentle on yourself as you begin taking risks. It is easier to sit back and hope than it is to go out and do. It is easier to plan than it is to experience, but risk is a part of life and an opportunity to grow beyond your worries and fears.

Remember, you do not have to go it alone if you are still uncomfortable challenging your fears. Consider working with a therapist who specializes in anxiety treatment. However, it is important to understand that pushing through your worries provides the reinforcement and energy you need to overcome them. You may stumble and fall, but each time you get up and go on, you are moving beyond worry and into more peace and power.

Eleanor Roosevelt was the First Lady of the United States during World War II, when the nation mobilized after Pearl Harbor and battled in many areas of the world. She understood real fear when she said the following:

“You gain strength, courage, and con?dence by every experience
in which you really stop to look fear in the face. . . .
The danger lies in refusing to face the fear,
in not daring to come to grips with it. . . .
You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

New Strategies: If It’s Gonna Be, It’s Up to Me

The Plan

What would you do if you could do anything you wanted? What are you avoiding? You can do the things you think you can’t do, by breaking them down into smaller steps. Taking small steps will help you achieve giant leaps later.

Try It

Start with a smaller goal that would be a step toward reaching an even larger adventure. Choose something you want to do as opposed to something you feel you should. Make a plan to tackle it by yourself or with a supportive friend. Choose something that could be fun. Choose a day when you will take a step to begin to do what you want in some way. No matter how small the step, do something that moves your energy toward your goal.

• Possibilize. Take some quiet time and possibilize about what you want to accomplish each day. See yourself doing it, enjoying it, and feeling strong and capable. Add strong positive emotions to the scene. Create dynamic, empowering manifestos to say before and during this activity.

• Plan. Become more familiar with what you want to do. Do you want to change jobs or start your own business? Find out all you can about the business you are interested in pursuing. If you want to challenge a fear, such as crossing over bridges, find out about them and how they are constructed. The internet is a wonderful source of information about almost anything. The more familiar something is, the less worrisome or frightening it becomes. Make cards with your favorite positive statements. What works for you? You can trust yourself; you really can.

• Permit.  If you are challenging a fear, give yourself permission to conclude the activity and continue it later. Outs are simply ways of mentally releasing some of the steam. They are some of the “so whats” to your “what ifs.” Applaud yourself for whatever you did to accomplish your dreams.

• Practice. If you begin to feel anxious, remember: Stop, Look, and Listen.

Possibilize

All is well.

I can take care of myself.

I feel completely safe and wonderfully happy wherever I am.

My home is in my belly button.

My strength is within me and my spirit is free.

Evaluate

As you focus on taking steps to accomplish your dreams, see yourself becoming more self-con?dent. Support each and every effort.

Applaud your progress and forgive yourself when you don’t accomplish what you planned. Simply try again. Keep possibilizing and walking into your dreams, step by step.

©2012 by Kathryn Tristan. All Rights Reserved.
Reprinted with permission from Atria Books/
Beyond Words Publishing.  www.beyondword.com 

This article was adapted with permission from the book:

Why Worry? Stop Coping and Start Living
by Kathryn Tristan.

There always seems to be plenty to worry about, and worry we do — from nagging concerns to full-blown anxiety. It’s time to stop worrying and instead create a more peaceful, powerful, and purposeful life. Kathryn Tristan’s hands-on, solution-oriented book empowers you to break free from constant fear, worry, and anxiety. She shows how to eliminate automatic doomsday thinking and take back control of your own life.

Click here for more info and/or to order this book on Amazon.

About the Author

Kathryn Tristan is a research scientist on the faculty of Washington University School of Medicine. She has written or co-authored more than 250 articles in leading health or science publications including PARADE Magazine and Scientific American Medicine. Kathryn writes and speaks on overcoming worry, anxiety and fear from a deeply personal as well as professional level. For many years, she struggled with anxiety while unsuccessfully trying traditional routes to overcome her challenges. Finally, she found a way to recover permanently by doing things differently and working from the inside out using holistic strategies for the mind, body, and spirit. Visit her website at www.whyworrybook.com