It Only Takes a Few Seconds to be Kind

In 1993, Conari Press published a book called Random Acts of Kindness. This book started a movement of people looking for ways to be kind to complete strangers. It was not at all unusual to see a bumper sticker on the car in front of you that read, “Practice Random Acts of Kindness.”

My favorite story from the book is a person who makes a point of paying for the person behind them whenever they cross a toll bridge. The stranger then pulls up to the booth and is told that their fee was paid. For a while, acts like these became popular. But somehow in all of the busyness of our world right now this lovely movement seems to have faded a bit.

A Difficult Trip Made Easier by Kindness

Barry and I have just returned from our three weeks of work in Norway, Italy and Germany. The trip from where we were staying in Germany to our home in California took almost 24 hours. It was a long rather difficult trip made easier by kindness.

Our flight from Hamburg to Munich was delayed and we were told that we needed to rush to make our connection to San Francisco. Both of us have right knees that are giving us a problem, so rushing was a problem, but we did the best we could through what seemed like miles of airport terminals. Finally we made it to the area of our gate when we discovered that we were chosen for a random search (not random kindness, but random search).

This was not your average two minute search. It took at least ten minutes per person. They investigated everything in our carry-ons, purse and body. Not only did we have to go through the scanner, but we also had to endure a body search that was embarrassing. Then our body had to be tested with tape that had to go through a special scanner that took over three minutes to process.


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As we waited on line, the group of us began to complain as there was a very real possibility of missing our flight back home. The man in front of me turned to me and simply said, “The young people doing this search are here only because the United States government is enforcing this search. Everyone is so angry at them. Let’s practice kindness.”

So the three of us were kind to the searchers and even joked with them while they searched everything in our suitcases and practically made us undress. As the minutes ticked by and we heard the boarding call for our flight, we continued to practice kindness. The young people, (eight for each person searched) were delighted as most everyone else was rude and unkind. As Barry and I left the search area, the young German security staff all waved to us and thanked us.

Two Seconds of Kindness Makes a Lasting Impression

It Only Takes a Few Seconds to be KindNow we had a quarter of a mile to the gate and only ten more minutes left. We rushed as best we could and arrived just as they announced general boarding. Over a hundred people stood up and started rushing the gate. Normally I like to get on the plane early and get settled before the crowds rush on and I will usually stand at the gate long before the boarding is announced. But here we were with the crowds pushing around us.

A young man in a red shirt took notice of us and spread his arms wide to stop the much younger passengers and for a brief moment let us by and into the plane before most of the people. It only took him two seconds to perform this kindness towards us, and yet it made such a lasting impression.

While putting our bags up in the storage, we noticed behind us a woman struggling with her bag. This same man in the red shirt rushed forward and helped her. She was so grateful to him. Truly this man had the spirit of kindness within his heart.

Words of Appreciation Make The Day Better

The flight was over thirteen hours and we experienced three sunsets. One flight attendant particularly caught our eye. He was a young German man who was perhaps in his early twenties. We learned that this was his first international flight. He was very kind to us and brought us extra water and made sure that we were comfortable.

Toward the end of the flight we thanked him for his kindness, and told him he was one of the best flight attendants we have ever had. His huge smile showed us those words of appreciation made his day better.

Taking A Few Seconds Throughout Our Busy Days To Be Kind To Others

At 5am German time the plane landed in San Francisco. The tired crowd of passengers slowly made it to the customs line only to wait for another hour. Customs officials are an unusual lot. It must be part of the job description to stare at each person while holding their passport and not bring even the hint of a smile to their lips, then pound the stamper and give back the passport without a word.

Having gone through four other customs lines on this trip we were used to this treatment. But our customs official this time was totally different. He smiled at us right away and said, “Welcome Home!” He looked at my passport and said, “You should have been called Rejoice.”

Then he gave us our passports and said, “Hope you have a good evening and enjoy your time at home.” It just took him seconds to bring kindness to a situation that can be quite tense. His kindness (and humor) made all the difference to us and I am sure to the passengers that were lucky enough to be in his line.

As we walked away, we glanced back to see a cute elderly couple approach this customs agent. We heard him call out to the woman, “Is that man bothering you?”

Perhaps we could bring back the Random Acts of Kindness movement and take a few seconds throughout our busy days to be kind to others. A smile, a word of appreciation, a simple act of caring and helping can make a very big difference to others. And it is much more fun to be kind. I believe the kindness all flows back to us to bless our lives.

* Subtitles by InnerSelf

Book by Joyce & Barry Vissell:

Risk to Be Healed: The Heart of Personal and Relationship Growth
by Joyce & Barry Vissell.

Risk to be Healed, book by Joyce & Barry Vissell"In this book, Joyce & Barry offer the priceless gift of their own experience with relationship, commitment, vulnerability, and loss, along with the profound guide to healing that comes from the core of their being and blesses us with gentle wisdom." -- Gayle & Hugh Prather

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About the Author(s)

photo of: Joyce & Barry VissellJoyce & Barry Vissell, a nurse/therapist and psychiatrist couple since 1964, are counselors, near Santa Cruz CA, who are passionate about conscious relationship and personal-spiritual growth. They are the authors of 9 books and a new free audio album of sacred songs and chants. Call 831-684-2130 for further information on counseling sessions by phone, on-line, or in person, their books, recordings or their schedule of talks and workshops.

Visit their website at SharedHeart.org for their free monthly e-heartletter, their updated schedule, and inspiring past articles on many topics about relationship and living from the heart.

Listen to a radio interview with Joyce and Barry Vissell on "Relationship as Conscious Path".