Are You A Replacement Child? Challenges and Letting Go

Acknowledging My Replacement Child Challenges and Letting GoNo mother, no parent, can prepare for the tormented experience of the death of a child let alone begin to heal, even slightly, without help. Like many children born to fill a void in a family, I grew into a chubby, anxious little girl, with my desire to please not only my mother but also everyone.

Lil' Kim And The Unbearable Whiteness Of Being

lill kimThis week the world saw – via that new, visual means of wildfire gossip-mongering known as “trending on social media” – Lil’ Kim’s new face and hair. For anyone who doesn’t know Lil Kim, she isn’t a teenage Instagram model – born Kimberley Jones in 1974, she’s one of the most successful female rappers the world has ever seen.

How You Can Change Your Inner Critic Habit

 Can You Change Your Inner Critic Habit?For the majority of people if they turned on a radio and the station was negative and critical, fearful, whining, or complaining they would turn it off. Most people would take control of the situation and choose something that would be more enjoyable and more productive. You may wish to take some time to tune in and really become aware of the background station that you are tuned into...

Why Not Give Yourself A Break About Trying To Be Perfect?

Why Not Give Yourself A Break About Trying To Be Perfect?In my daily work as a therapist/coach I've discovered there is one thing that we all have in common. We are all, everyone including me, so amazingly unkind and hard on ourselves. The truth is, I have never met anyone who is not super critical of themselves and who doesn't have unrealistic expectations when it comes to being a so-called "perfect" human being.

Putting Up a Front: The "Me" I Let Others See

Putting Up a Front: The "Me" I Let Others See

Man, am I good at putting on a front. I’m guessing most of you, if you were really to take an honest look at yourselves, could probably relate. Now, when I say “putting on a front,” I’m talking about the me I let others see versus the me that’s underneath that exterior, the guy pretty much no one knows...

Letting Go of Control & Following Your Spiritual Impulses

Letting Go of Control & Following Your Spiritual ImpulsesAs a species, humans love control. We want to control our environment, physical and emotional safety, financial security, and self-image. Yet this same passion for control gets us into trouble as individuals and as a species. If we do not exercise wisdom, control can easily become addiction, tyranny, and repression. We find ourselves rebelling against...

Criticism Leads to Anxiety, Fear, and Unhappiness

Criticism Leads to Anxiety and FearLiving with anxiety and fear creates unhappiness and despair in all our relationships. However, most of us suffer from too much anxiety and fear primarily because our communications provoke these destructive emotions through criticism, accusa­tion, punishment and humiliation. So reducing the anxiety and fear caused by...

A True Perfectionist

A True Perfectionist

by Alan Cohen. A friend of mine declared, "I used to think I was a perfectionist. I found the tiniest flaws in everything. Then I realized I was not a perfectionist at all; I was an imperfectionist! If I was a perfectionist, I would see perfection wherever I look."

Who's To Judge?

Who's To Judge?Ideally, we all want to be in a constant state of total unconditional acceptance. However, in your zeal to become 'unconditional' have you overlooked yourself? Have you been able to stop judging and accept the inconsistencies that occasionally cause you to fall short of the mark?

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