When we are always looking for something or someone to complete us, we soon feel as if we’re living in hell. Happiness and love go hand in hand, and we are taught that not only our happiness but also our love are somewhere “out there.”
With just a little practice, you'll be able to recognize the emotions underlying other people's demeanor, words, and actions. And rather than getting sucked into a knee-jerk reaction to their abrupt tone, negativity, or finger-pointing tirade, you can get to the heart of the matter and extend a communication "bridge."
When I first heard of the concept of Self Love, I laughed out loud. I was sure it was the most pretentious and ridiculous idea I’d ever heard. I ridiculed the concept for a good long minute and gave it hell. Then I went back to despising myself (that was so much more “humble” and “honorable”).
Today, the number of single adults in the U.S. – and many other nations around the world – is unprecedented.
If you're in a relationship and are ready to deal with your conflicts, don't be afraid. You and your partner have the power to share your feelings and needs -- and reach agreement peacefully. Is it possible for you and your partner to resolve smoothly the differences that arise in your relationship?
Children under a certain age don’t have the perceptual judgment and motor skills to cross a busy road consistently without putting themselves in danger, report researchers.
You may be attracted to someone when you first meet but it may be on a physical level mostly. When the excitement of that original feeling fades, you may feel something is wrong with the relationship. In actuality, you only misunderstood the meaning of relationships.
Few people would disagree that children have a right to participate in matters that affect them.
Why are our eyes so expressive? It started as a universal reaction to environmental stimuli, new research suggests, and evolved to communicate emotion.
When it comes to power in romantic relationships, men are often cast as dominant and women as deferential. But working against this are caricatures of domineering women with their “hen-pecked husbands” and “whipped boyfriends.”
It is a paradox that if we cannot open our hearts to ourselves, then we have no foundation for dealing with other people lovingly and compassionately. We've been trained not to ask loving and compassionate questions of ourselves.
It’s up to you to take smart risks with love. You don’t want to put your heart in the care of anybody who’s going to hide their true self, treat you poorly, and/or turn out to be psychologically unavailable. Trust must be earned and renewed regularly by our actions.
We all lie. How contradictory it is: we are taught as children that we must always tell the truth, that we shouldn’t lie, yet society teaches us to lie “appropriately” — in order to avoid conflict, to be polite, to get what we want...
I had a man tell me that the problem women have is that we get more hung up on a man's words than we do their actions. He meant that we don't always see if a man walks his talk.
One of the biggest traps in life is cynicism. Cynicism is not the same as questioning, doubting or being skeptical. If we are just skeptical we have an open mind, but just need more proof. If we are cynical we have already made up our mind...
Are we relationship material? Boy this sounds like a loaded question. A question that I have been spending quality time asking myself.
When it comes to reporting the number of sex partners or how often they have sexual intercourse, men and women both lie. While men tend to overreport it, women have a tendency to underreport it.
In the 1990s, many of the equestrians I encountered believed that animals were incapable of thought and emotion. “It’s all instinct,” one of my trainers told me whenever I brought up anecdotal evidence to the contrary. Some of the local ranchers insisted that, unlike dogs, horses weren’t smart enough to recognize their own names.
In today's changing times, we are looking for a better way to be ourselves, not someone we were raised to be. In this time of intense self-discovery, all others serve as our mirrors.
Triggers are hooks that summon emotional experiences of other times when you were frightened, harmed, and helpless. When you succumb to a trigger, you feel a sense of guilt, shame, and failure as you add another layer of fear, punishment, and helplessness to your original experience...
We are often quick to make judgements on what we perceive to be happening when children behave in a way that draws attention – but when a young person with autism is struggling to cope with the world, the last thing they need is our criticism.
The shift from living with attachment to the judgmental mind to living with kindness is perhaps the most important part of our work with the critic. It requires us to embrace all of who we are — the good, the bad, and the ugly. This can require a radical shift in our inner world...
“Why do I have to learn this?” is a common question among young adults. New research suggests an answer from their peers has more weight than one from their teachers.
I remember feeling unloved, under-appreciated, ignored, and lonely. Lonelier than I ever thought imaginable.
Passion is a very holy thing. You can lose many material things, but if you lose your passion, you're a goner.
There are 7,099 known languages in the world today. Choosing which of these to teach our children as a second language is an important decision
Touch underpins our social world and, evidence suggests, it may even help to reduce anxiety and provide pain relief.
Whenever we react to a person’s behavior--particularly a child’s--we can do it in either of two primary ways. One addresses the individual’s personhood and ties it to his behavior, and the other addresses his personhood and disconnects it from his behavior. This is a critical distinction.
Until a few decades ago, scholars believed that young children know very little, if anything, about what others are thinking.
Issues around children learning to read are rarely out of the news. Which is hardly surprising
In our study done in Kenya, we set out to look at whether adolescents get information about sex from television programmes.
Many couples have a special song – “our song” – that reminds them of a significant event or time in their relationship, like when they first met, their wedding or when they were separated by war.
All animals have a culture and a language associated with that culture. Whether the language contains words or some other vocalization, all of these cultures will include body language. For example, horses are limited in vocabulary to a series of soft snickerings...
Teachers routinely inform students that if they are being bullied at school they should seek help from a trusted adult, such as a teacher or school counselor.
This Greek tale is concerned with one of the great mysteries of the family: Where do our gifts and talents come from? It suggests that the misuse of inherited gifts can end in disaster, and that it is up to us to use our talents to serve rather than control life.
Much is said about today’s children not getting enough sleep, a problem blamed on lax bedtimes, and excessive evening computer and mobile phone use.
Given the lack of quality sex and relationship education in British schools, and that sexual and reproductive health has traditionally been seen as the domain of females
Online dating is an increasingly popular way for people to find love, but that also makes it an attractive target for those with less than romantic intentions.
There is a common perception that children are more likely to read if it is on a device such as an iPad or Kindles.
Even happy couples can be pretty clueless about the ploys each partner uses to avoid dealing with their feelings, new research suggests.
In 2002, I began traveling the entire length of the U.S.-Mexico border on both sides. From Pacific Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico, the border measures almost 2,000 miles.
The more time a young adult spends using social media, the more likely they are to feel socially isolated, say researchers.
The shadow shows us the parts that are buried deep within, occupy our subconscious mind, and often emerge unexpectedly, in destructive ways. The saboteur archetype can cause you to sabotage opportunities, resist healthy and enriching relationships...
Watching television for more than a couple of hours a day is linked to lower school readiness skills in kindergartners, particularly among children from low-income families.
For all we hear about an escalation in mental health problems in adolescence, there is no persuasive evidence that the internet is to blame.
For most of us, the word oneness is gibberish. Perhaps it’s a concept with a nice ring, but it refers to nothing real in our experience. If we look closely, we see that we are different from every person we know in all respects.
The natural order of the classroom has always been for pupils to sit. Whether this involves, talking, discussing, working in groups, or listening to the teacher, most of the time this is all done from the comfort of a chair.
Avoiding Trump supporters only increases our already dangerous polarization. Here’s how to really listen and find compassion.
A friend of mine recently gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, but within months she was at the end of her tether with sleep deprivation.
Teacher ratings of parental involvement early in a child’s academic career can accurately predict the child’s academic and social success, new research shows.
To get someone’s support, you need more than just facts. The most effective method is aligning communication about your cause with the most deeply-held values and aspirations of your friends, relatives, neighbors, and fellow citizens.
In the late 16th century, the famous French essayist Michel de Montaigne wrote about two marriages between people of the same sex. At the time, same-sex marriages were not recognized by religious or civil law...
Some people say the glass is half-empty, some say it’s half-full – but can animals also be optimistic or pessimistic?
Popular ideas, such as the “Mozart effect” – the idea that listening to classical music improves intelligence – has encouraged the belief that “music makes you smarter”.
Standard advice about preparing for disasters focuses on building shelters and stockpiling things like food, water and batteries. But resilience - the ability to recover from shocks, including natural disasters - comes from our connections to others.
How can modern parents raise the next generation to be free from corrosive gender and racial stereotypes?
Being compassionate to a spouse makes you feel good, even if the nice thing you did goes unnoticed.
Why is it that we always seem to find ourselves in relationships that leave us damaged or wounded? These patterns are sometimes difficult to understand, as we cycle through connection after connection that always seem to end in heartache.
It may seem that new relationships are entirely fuelled by dreams and hopes for a perfect future. But the past can have a powerful influence too – often more so than we would like to admit
Love is a complex and powerful force, one that plays out in a number of emotional, cognitive and social ways.
In America, 60 percent of digital media consumption now occurs on mobile or tablet devices instead of desktop computers.
In my book Parenting Without Power Struggles, I described three ways that parents can engage with their children: being confidently and calmly in charge, negotiating for power, or fighting their child for control.
In the beginning, humans were androgynous. So says Aristophanes in his fantastical account of the origins of love in Plato’s Symposium.
E L James’s Fifty Shades trilogy is a bona fide publishing, and now film, sensation. Whatever you think about the trilogy and its film adaptations...
In honor of Valentine’s Day, here are five love songs that pose serious scientific questions. Experts from the University of Melbourne offer insights about the evolution of love, how it changes our bodies, and what human couples can learn from prairie voles and spiders.
Being someone’s BFF is a big deal – you don’t hand over the other half of your “Best Friends” necklace to just anyone. Having a romantic partner who is also your best friend potentially sounds perfect.
Love sure does hurt, as the Everly Brothers knew very well. And while it is often romanticised or made sentimental, the brutal reality is that many of us experience fairly unpleasant symptoms when in the throes of love.
Many studies have shown that women's brains are wired differently from men's so they can both feel and recall both positive and negative emotions more strongly than men. But, just because women seem to be more comfortable in the emotional realm, does not mean that men don't, can't, or shouldn't thrive in it...
Study after study affirms that people want a partner with a sense of humor. But it’s less about cracking jokes than about finding a style of humor that makes you both laugh.
Men are more likely to die in armed combat, use and die from illegal drugs, be dependent on alcohol and go to prison than women.
Cities as distant and varied as Moscow and Manchester, New York and Newport, Beijing and Blackpool all have one striking feature in common.
Being attached to negative behavior is addictive to the brain. In such cases, we are predisposed to make choices based on patterns that seek out unnecessary drama. Could all of this be because you have set a pattern in your thinking that anticipates the worst?
Whether people are struggling to save a marriage, to cooperate in a family crisis, or to build rapport with a difficult boss, they usually have one thing in common: They need to share emotional information that can help them feel connected.
Most of us dread dealing with them, but call centres are hard to avoid as an increasingly ubiquitous aspect of modern life.
Personality traits are “contagious” among preschoolers who spend time together, new research shows.
Female beauty in nature may have less to do with attracting the opposite sex than previously thought.
My favorite fairy tale as a child was Cinderella, so when I met Charlie and fell in love with him, I thought my prince had come. But these kinds of fantasies are a setup for expectations that are impossible to fulfill...
Politicians and policymakers are discussing what parts of the Affordable Care Act to change and what to keep. While most of us have little control over those discussions, there is one health care topic that we can control: what we talk about with our doctor.
We can start difficult conversations by speaking from the heart and sharing our wish for a world where everyone is safe and free.
By age six, girls are less likely than boys to view their own gender as brilliant and express interest in activities described as for “really, really smart” children, according to new research published in Science.
Every February, in honor of Valentine’s day, I explore loving relationships. Many of us have faced challenges in relationships, and we struggle with how to create truly rewarding connections. We search for our soulmate, wrestle with friendships, and dread going home to see our relatives.
A boy meets a man carrying a load of cow manure and asks him what he is going to do with it all. The man tells the little boy, “I’m taking it home to put on my strawberries”.
The use of obscene or taboo language, or swearing as it’s more commonly known, is often seen as a sign that the speaker lacks vocabulary, cannot express themselves in a less offensive way, or even lacks intelligence.
Starting school can be daunting for any child. Often it is the first excursion into the world without parent contact.
Delaying school start times could help teenagers sleep better, say experts, and could give them a better chance at success later.
Centuries ago, hearing voices in one’s head was thought to be a sign of communication with God – and if not that, then with the devil.
The concept of being able to predict the sex of a baby during early pregnancy or even influence it by eating or doing certain things when trying to conceive
The Beatles were on the money with almost all their songs, but on this one "All You Need Is Love", I’m afraid that they got it wrong. Beatles fans who embraced this song as the holy truth probably found themselves deeply disappointed.
Most people think just one sperm is needed to fertilize a woman’s egg and make a healthy pregnancy. However, biologists now believe sexual intercourse is not just a sperm delivery process, but also a kind of biological communication.
Doctors don’t just “get over” rude treatment from patients, research suggests. In simulations with an angry parent, the performance of pediatricians suffered dramatically.
Investigating the make up and composition of breast milk has been a critical part of understanding how newborn babies build their immune systems and ward off disease later in life.
The notion of mind reading conjures images of psychic powers, crystal balls and other aspects of the paranormal.
Growing up in Appalachia, many women abided by two rules: it’s impolite to say no, and be as nice as you possibly can be, and everyone will realize you’re the better person. For me, this translated as always say yes and play nice.
Just as a sculptor chips away the marble that covers the already-formed work of art, our inner work is to remove what doesn’t belong and what is not in resonance with our authentic selves. Put another way, within each of our hearts is a gift. It is up to us to unwrap it.
Children are listening. During the election, messages of hate, fear and intolerance were propagated across different media and into communities.
There is a natural tendency to synchronize, to link up with others. When two violins are located in the same room and a string is plucked on the first one, the string tuned to the same frequency on the second violin will vibrate, thus sounding the note...
Our youth, to whom we will entrust the twenty-first century, look upon neither their future nor their world with bright hope. This is why I feel compelled to discuss the problems of our youth, particularly in the advanced industrialized nations...
I celebrated my first Gay Pride Day in San Francisco on June 28, 2015. Two days earlier, the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage with the Obergefell v. Hodges decision.
Congratulations! Your child is already a creative genius by virtue of being human. Humans are far more creative than any other species.
The death of a child is one of the most traumatic experiences that a parent can experience. Those who do experience it can struggle to recover.