How To Be Your Own Relationship Therapist

How To Be Your Own Relationship TherapistMaybe you can't see an obvious reason why you haven't found happiness in your relationships, but somehow it's not happening as you envisioned. You can't seem to locate the answers that will bring everything together. Don't give up. Understanding is a journey...

Why Sex Gets Better In Older Age

Why Sex Gets Better In Older AgeAging is generally associated with improvements in our quality of life: We become more proficient in our work, learn how to manage our finances better and our bonds with loved ones deepen.

Why Male Couples Should Think About HIV

Why Male Couples Should Think About HIVIn a relationship there are myriad issues to manage. Who walks the dog? Does his mother like me? Whom are we supporting to win RuPaul’s “Drag Race All Stars 2”? But there is one issue that can often be harder to manage – how do we as a couple deal with HIV?

Will I Ever Love Again?

Will I Ever Love Again?People in the throes of a breakup universally express the fear that they will never love again. I was afraid of this myself for a few months after losing my life partner. In the midst of the despair and hopelessness, we believe that losing our loved one means losing the possibility for love and connection forever.

When And Why Do We Feel Like Sex?

When And Why Do We Feel Like Sex?Sexual desire can change from moment to moment. One minute you’re feeling frisky, and the next you just feel like a cup of tea and a nap.

Why Child Sex Abuse Doesn't Create Pedophiles

Why Child Sex Abuse Doesn't Create PedophilesA popular misconception is that most child sex offenders were once victims themselves. The theory is based on the erroneous assumption that they’ve become paedophiles – those preferentially sexually attracted to prepubescent children – because of their victimisation.

How Love, Compassion, and Money Are Linked Together

How Love, Compassion, and Money Are  Linked TogetherThere's a psychological war that goes on in us humans between self-hate and self-love. It's a part of another battle that persists: the energy war between living and dying, building energy and depleting energy. The two issues are wrapped up with abundance and love, and they can very dramatically affect your ability to earn money and pull abundance to you...

The Science Of Attraction Of A Suitable Mate

The Science Of Attraction Of A Suitable MateThe selection and attraction of a suitable mate is of fundamental importance to all species. It is perhaps not surprising then that dating programmes, featuring men and women competing for the attentions of a potential partner, are so popular.

How Does Internet Porn Affect Romantic Life?

Does Internet Porn Affect Romantic Life?The world of internet pornography is a pervasive and wide reaching technology, growing at a breathtaking rate. It is a $13 billion-a-year industry in the US. Nine out of 10 boys in America are exposed to it before the age of 18, and men are 543% more likely to be users than women.

Why Nice Guys Do Finish First With Girls

Why Nice Guys Do Finish First With GirlsMaking friends is tough for teenagers. Making friends with the opposite sex can be even tougher. Our research, published in the Journal of Personality, suggests empathy may be the key to developing friendships, and may be especially important for young men establishing supportive friendships with young women.

When Science Meets Sex, Lust, Attraction And Attachment

When Science Meets Sex, Lust, Attraction And AttachmentYou are on holiday with your partner of several years. Your relationship is going pretty well, but you wonder if it could be better. It’s Valentine’s Day and you find a bottle on the beach. You rub it. A love genie appears. He (or she) will grant you three special Valentine wishes. Here are some of your choices:

How Do We Choose A Partner?

What’s inside also counts. kira cronin/Flickr, CC BY-NC-NDWe know a lot about why people choose different brands of dishwashing detergent, because companies spend billions of dollars investigating who buys what. But when it comes to the processes behind perhaps our most significant life choice – choosing a romantic partner – science knows surprisingly little.

Online Dating Has Become A Hobby, One That Is Often Not Even That Fun

Online Dating Has Become A Hobby, One That Is Often Not Even That FunThe scene described in Nancy Jo Sales’s huge Tinder report published in Vanity Fair magazine featured groups of twenty-something friends and colleagues in a Manhattan bar relaxing after work. But rather than socialising with each other they were engrossed in the more private world of their mobile phones, seeking something completely personal: a sexual partner (albeit not necessarily just for sex).

Can Being A Good Storyteller Lead To Love?

Can Being A Good Storyteller Lead To Love?Everyone loves a good story, but can a good story lead to love? Storytelling is a fundamental form of communication, and research has demonstrated the power of narratives to change minds and influence behavior.

What Does Science Says About Love

What Does Science Says About LoveWe’ve all felt it at some time in our lives. Poets write about it, singers sing about it – and a whole industry has grown up around finding it, expressing it and maintaining it. But what is love? Where does it reside? What triggers it? And what’s really going on in our minds and bodies when we fall “head over heels”?

Do Women Really Go For Bad Boys?

Do Women Really Go For Bad Boys? “Nice guys finish last” is one of the most widely believed maxims of dating. Fleshed out, the idea goes something like this: heterosexual women might say they want nice characteristics in a partner, but in reality what they want is the challenge that comes with dating a “bad boy”.

Here's How Kids Ruin Your Romantic Relationship

romance spoiled by kids 5 10Lots of women look forward to motherhood – getting to know a tiny baby, raising a growing child, developing a relationship with a maturing son or daughter. All over the world, people believe that parenting is the most rewarding part of life.

Does The G-spot Exist?

Does The G-spot Exist?It is perhaps one of the most controversial debates in sexual function: is there or isn’t there a G-spot? And if there is, how do we find it?

Do Deep Voices Make Guys More Scary Than Sexy?

Do Deep Voices Make Guys More Scary Than Sexy?"Masculine traits in humans are not the same as, say, in peacocks where the beautiful tail attracts a mate," says David Puts. "For example, beards make men more dominant looking, scarier, and seemingly more dangerous, but most women prefer clean-shaven men."

7 Deal Breakers When Looking For Love

7 Deal Breakers When Looking For Love"A lot of times, just by avoiding negative traits, people will probably be fairly well off—maybe even more well off—than if they were trying to optimize the best potential partner," says Gregory Webster.

How Long Does Sex Normally Last?

How Long Does Sex Normally Last?The difficult thing is how to measure it, because people will probably over-estimate. If you’re a non-scientist, you might have once asked yourself, propped against the bedhead after disappointingly quick intercourse, how long does sex “normally” last?

To Really Trust a Woman...

To Really Trust a Woman...Becoming vulnerable with a woman teaches you all about trust. I often hear, “I’ll be more vulnerable with her when I trust her more.” This attitude doesn’t work. Your vulnerability opens the door to trust, and trust opens the door to love.

Gender Fluidity Is Great — But Only If You're Famous

Gender Fluidity Is Great — But Only If You're FamousFor all that Miley Cyrus’s cropped hair and crotch-clutching and “I don’t relate to being boy or girl” have inspired articles about gender fluidity as the new “in” thing, it’s hard not to see Cyrus’s “trailblazing” as derivative of David Bowie – a true icon in so many ways, not least in his defiant smashing of gender norms.

Researchers Close In On The Mystery Of Why Sex Evolved

Researchers Close In On The Mystery Of Why Sex EvolvedThe reason why, in terms of evolution, organisms have sex may seem rather obvious – they do it to reproduce. Clearly, natural selection must favour individuals who can reproduce over those who can’t. But this is missing the point. For many species there is an alternative: asexual reproduction.

Why Boys Need To Have Conversations About Emotional Intimacy

What parents don’t know about teenage boys. Davidlohr Bueso, CC BYAmerican classrooms do not talk frankly about teenage love or emotional intimacy. Last month, Tom Porton, an award-winning, veteran Bronx high school teacher, handed in his resignation after colliding with the school’s principal.

Why We Are Attracted To People Who Look Like Our Parents

Why We Are Attracted To People Who Look Like Our ParentsHave you ever thought there was an uncanny family resemblance between your friend and her partner? Or wondered for a fleeting moment whether the pair walking down the road were husband and wife, or brother and sister? You might not be imagining things. Animals of many species “learn” what a suitable

Is Cheating More Society's Problem Than An Affair Of The Heart

Is Cheating Is More Society's Problem Than An Affair Of The HeartWhen it comes to love, cheating and divorce, matters are never just of the heart. In a bid to understand the love lives of humans, scientists have turned to the romantic relations of birds since the family life of many birds is reminiscent of those exhibited by humans.

What Do Our Spending Habits Reveal About Our Romantic Intentions?

What Do Our Spending Habits Reveal About Our Romantic Intentions?Money might not buy you love, but according to some studies in psychology and consumer behaviour, how you spend it could reveal a thing or two about your romantic intentions. These studies demonstrate that just thinking about meeting a new partner can actually impact our shopping decisions in surprising ways – affecting men and women differently.

How Kissing Empowers Women

How Kissing Empowers WomenIn Western cultures, we mark the beginning of romantic entanglement by touching lips. Few actions are as fraught with anxiety and symbolism as that first kiss—and it’s no exaggeration to say that some kisses feel like life or death.

Can You Revive The Spark In A Long-term Relationship?

Can You Revive The Spark In A Long-term Relationship?At the beginning of a romantic relationship, passion is not in short supply. The thrills of learning all about your beloved, sharing new experiences, and having plenty of sex, create an exhilarating state of desire and romantic love. In fact, a number of scientific studies have shown that this kind of love

Why Your Selfie Obsession Could Ruin Your Relationship

Your Selfie Obsession Could Ruin Your Relationship“Selfie” is not just word of the year, but also the mainstay of postings on social media sites such as Instagram. With the prevalence of camera-equipped smartphones the posting of selfies has reached epidemic levels – even the funerals of national leaders aren’t exempt. But is there a psychological fall-out?

The All-in-one Solution To Sexual Health Is On Its Way

The All-in-one Solution To Sexual Health Is On Its WayThe current sexual and reproductive prevention methods have significantly improved the health and well-being of women and their families. But this is not enough. Worldwide each year there are still 85 million unplanned pregnancies, 21.6 million unsafe abortions, and nearly 300 000 maternal deaths from complications related to pregnancy and birth.

Raising a Husband: Getting Him to Respond When You Call

Raising a Husband: How To Get Him to Respond When You CallI started thinking, “Do all wives feel like they are raising their husbands? Wow. Someone should write a book about that.”  Weeks later the title How to Raise a Husband  popped into my head, and it occurred to me that, as a wife and a writer, could write a book about wives and husbands.

Three Ways To Get Through A Bad Breakup

Three Ways To Get Through A Bad BreakupLet’s face it breakups hurt. Why? Well, for the most part it’s painful because it represents a loss. And, I’m not just talking about the loss of a loved one, but of the dream that you thought you once shared. Often this sense of a letdown is followed by stress and grief.

The Truth About Sexuality In Ancient Greece

The Truth About Sex In Ancient GreeceA new exhibition at the British Museum promises to lift the lid on what beauty meant for the ancient Greeks. But while we gaze at the serene marble statues on display – straining male torsos and soft female flesh – are we seeing what the ancients saw?

Love Is An Inside Job: The Journey To Whole-Heartedness

Love Is An Inside JobAs a counselor to couples for many years, I’ve learned to spot the distinctive stages we travel through over the course of an intimate relationship. Although these stages are predictable, even inevitable, we have the power to choose how to travel through them as self-aware actors who are in charge of our lives.

Does ‘Hotness’ Depend on Group Opinion?

It’s often thought that we are hardwired by eons of natural selection to be attracted to particular physical traits; that preference is thought to guide a search for healthy mates to help us produce healthy offspring. But the study by Yang and Leonard Lee of the National University of Singapore challenges the notion that our inborn ideas of physical attractiveness are immutable.

Sexual Energy in Seduction: Red Lights, Green Lights

Sexual Energy in Seduction: Red Lights, Green Lights

There is a reason why some people choose to dress or groom themselves in ways that are not provocative. Certain ways of dressing, as well as certain uses of things such as makeup, scents, and jewelry, often elicit exchanges of sexual energy. If we go through the day projecting our sexual energy onto others...

Seven Normal Relationship Troubles

Seven Normal Relationship Troubles

Two points emerge from our troubles during this stage. The first is the incorrect belief that our happiness and the success of the relationship are determined by what our partner says and does. As I’ve emphasized before and will again, all relationship change begins within you...

Looking Inside Yourself For Definitive Answers

Looking Inside Yourself For Definitive AnswersIs relationship therapy really needed? Why can't most of us just wing it and hope that everything turns out okay? After all, many people find that perfect partner and enjoy a satisfying, healthy relationship. Incredibly, a lot of marriages are doomed to split up...

From Repression to Transcendence: Is There Life After Sex?

From Repression to Transcendence: Is There Life After Sex?

You exist as a sexual being. Once you accept it, the conflict that has been created down through the centuries dissolves. Once you accept it deeply, with no ideas in between, when sex is thought of as simply natural, you live it. Sex is transcended not by any effort on your part. If you make any effort, that will be repressive...

There’s A Pill For Love Problems, Or Maybe Not

Love problems? There’s a pill for that, but Plato offers a wiser cure

Is pill-popping the best way to ensure we stay in love with our long-term partner? Should we also pop a pill to try to fall out of love in order to end an abusive relationship? Instead of pills, there may be some useful ancient answers...

Don't Give Up On Your Relationship

realtionship principles

Can any two people create and maintain a great relationship? You may not think so, because in your search for love, you've only met with failure and disappointment. You may have come to expect that any love relationship you have will end up being quite painful...

Women Earning More Than Men: Does This Lead to Divorce?

Couples Where Mothers Earn More Are No More Likely To Split

“Fears about women’s higher earnings reflect theories, and anxieties, that if women had the financial means they would not stay with men so that women’s dependency holds couples and society together.” The study which included cohabiting couples found that there was no significant...

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