Care & Upbringing of Children
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The environment should be enriched with lots of colors and educational toys including computers. The child should not be frightened or bullied by force or religious threats but taught self discipline when the timing is right. The parents should avoid hateful arguments, although creative arguments are acceptable for the child to observe.
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Sports should be encouraged for its own sake. All efforts should be made to develop high levels of mental activities, social behavior, foreign languages, special skills. Most of these are best taught by allowing the child to imitate you or another who is more expert than the child. You should not force the child and if this seems necessary it is because you have not been a good example. Learning occurs best by observation and imitation.
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Allow the child to take chances. Do not be over-protective, or project too much of your personal anxieties. Keep worries and complaining to a minimum. Avoid all forms of condemnation and other-worldliness. A child's mind cannot understand minute differences. It tends to think wholistically, thus any concept will be engulfed and not digested.
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The child will learn ethical philosophy by observing how you treat others around you. Severity is sometimes necessary, mercy is sometimes necessary, and mildness is sometimes necessary. Use your head. Think things out before overreacting to situations.
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Do not moralize with the child. Speak of actions and behaviors in terms of real consequences. Do not impart metaphysical concepts until the child is able to understand them and their uses.
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Discuss social behavior, not from the point of view of "Thou shalt" and "Thou shalt not", but as necessary things to learn and use. Again do not moralize or intimidate. Use role modeling and discipline. You are the best example, not your mother's or father's fictions, truisms, or axioms. Remember what a child becomes to a large extent is a function of what she learns at "the breast".
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Allow the child to watch TV on a restricted basis. Instead of normal television, show movies which reflect excellence, heroism, achievement. Allow the child to make his own movies.
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The best way to teach eating habits is again by allowing the child to observe your proper eating habits.
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When the child comes home with questions concerning other people's lifestyles, inform the child that every person has the "right" to live as they see fit, but that some lifestyles are a bit better for assuring a happy and healthy life.
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Observe what the child is automatically attracted to. Provide more of the same, but do not become discouraged if the child loses interest.
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Breastfeed the child for at least one year, but no more than 18 months. Do not start toilet training too early. Let the child observe you using the toilet. She/he will try to imitate you. Have the child completely toilet trained by two years old.
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Play with the child as often as you can. Allow it to play with other children, but be careful about the adults you have supervise the child. Do not allow hateful humans to pour nonsense into the child's mind before it has developed the critical faculties to discern and differentiate.
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Each society imitates the teaching style of its Brand Name Gods. Therefore, if you wish your child to be happy, healthy, intelligent, and humane, keep her away from hateful God Images. Most of us in the West have had first hand experience with the negative attitudes which the Gods have had toward man. Most all of these have been passed on by the "adults" who cared for us. Remember, they were terrified by the same awful images.
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In the West, emotional abuse of children is so common that it still goes unnoticed. I would venture to say that emotional abuse is the number one "killer" of human beings, and the models of our Gods reflect this. The child should be kept away from public school and all conventional religions which teach guilt, blind obedience, and self-contempt.
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Nothing concerning the process of conception should be discussed with the child until she/he is old enough to understand.
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While nudity is not a problem up to a certain age, in this culture it is wise to discontinue excessive displays of nudity just prior to age 5. Do not allow the child to observe intercourse. This is not a moral dictate, but a practical one. The child does not have the ability to understand what is really happening and she/he will jump to misunderstandings. Only give information when asked. Stop giving information when you feel the child cannot understand what you are talking about. Again, give factual and informed statements. Talk in a kind and friendly voice, and do not moralize. Generalizations are dangerous for the future of young children. Learn to be specific, following the rule, of Who, What, Where, Why, How, and When. Children can relate well to these components of communication.
- Discipline is essential, but it must be in the child's terms and not yours. Do not expect adult performance from children, because their natural behavior will often be better and worse.
This article was excerpted from:
Secrets of Western Tantra: The Sexuality of the Middle Path, ©
by Christopher S. Hyatt, Ph.D.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher, New Falcon Publications, Tempe, Arizona, USA. www.newfalcon.com
About The Author
Christopher S. Hyatt, Ph.D. was trained in both psycho-physiology and clinical psychology and practiced as a psychotherapist for many years. He has published many articles in peer-reviewed, professional journals. Today he is known as the world-famous author of a wide variety of books on psychology, sex, tantra, tarot, self-transformation, and Western magic. Among these books are: Tantra Without Tears; Undoing Yourself With Energized Meditation and Other Devices; The Tree of Lies; and Taboo: Sex, Religion and Magick.
