InnerSelf.com

Dear John,

I have been seriously looking back upon our relationship and getting very clear on what I need and desire out of a relationship.

The conclusion I have come to is that we are too different in both our personality and our desired lifestyles to be able to successfully live together with joy, bliss, good communication, and interaction.

This is not about you or about me "winning or losing", or about one of us being wrong -- it is about two ways of being... which do not fulfill each other, or go together. Though I had been open to having you visit with the thought that possibly we could 'try' again, after thinking about it a lot, I realize that it is not a good idea. I am very clear that we are not the 'right' people for each other at this time in our lives.

Please forgive yourself, and me, for any 'mistakes' we made along the way... and remember that we both have grown immensely through being together... but the time has come to move on.

So basically what I am saying is that I would like to 'cancel' my invitation for you to visit. I feel at this time, that I need to move on with my life, and having you come and visit would not serve any positive purpose. You need to accept that this relationship is over and open yourself up to receiving the blessings of a new relationship...

I think we both need to let go of the past, be grateful for what we had for a time, learn from our experiences, and move on from there.

Dearest John, we have been through a lot together... I have a learned a lot about myself, as you have learnt a lot about yourself. At this point, we are both ready to graduate to the next level in a relationship... What we have learned, whether while we were together, or whether after, through looking back on how we 'operated' together, will serve us in our future relationships.

It has been my experience, that all relationships that end are simply opening the door to another level of joy, and a better relationship built on what we have learnt in the past. So I know and trust that there is someone out there who will support you in your growth while loving you exactly the way you are... which is something that we were not doing for each other. I constantly judged and criticized you, in the same manner that you judged and criticized me... Out there is the perfect person for you that will love you and not find a single thing to criticize about you in the same way that you will not find a single thing to criticize about them... You will accept her as she is, even while seeing that she is not "perfect".

Do not see this as losing something, but rather as having gained knowledge and wisdom... Everything that we have learned from being together, as well as from us being separated, we will be able to put in practice in our next relationship to avoid the traps that we got into.

EVERYTHING ALWAYS WORKS OUT FOR THE BEST, and this is no exception. Trust in yourself, trust in the Universe, trust in the power of Love that rules our lives. Please don't get into feeling sorry for yourself and wanting to 'end it all'. Rather, thank God for the learning experience, and ask for the openness to recognize the blessings in your life. They are there... open yourself up to being you, accepting yourself completely without judgment, and loving yourself unconditionally.

I wish you joy, I wish you happiness, I wish you heaven on earth. Please trust in yourself and the Universe enough to take some deep breaths, and start looking to find and create joy in your life. It is there... simply step out and claim it.

Blessings to you... Be the light!

Recommended book:

Soulmates: Following Inner Guidance to the Relationship of Your Dreams
by Carolyn Godschild Miller.

Info/Order this book

About The Author

The author of this article wishes to remain anonymous to protect the privacy of "John". This is an actual letter that was sent to her ex-husband when he was hoping to "try again" after their having been married for 10 years and separated for a few months. Both the author and "John" are now happily married again to another "soulmate".

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