There is a destiny which makes us brothers;
None goes his way alone;
All that we send into the lives of others
Comes back into our own.
— edwin markham
Successful living can only occur when we are able to establish harmonious relations with all whom we encounter, whether it be in the home, the office, or on the street corner. We have to have harmonious relationships with all people or we limit our harmonious relationship with any one person.
The nature of our relationships with others rests upon what we think ourselves to be and what we think the other person is — not superficially, but what we really are. Just who do we think we are?
Are we responsible for the life that is within us? Are we master-minding this body of ours? Or is there something within and behind what we appear to be that is greater than we are? Regardless of what our outward appearance may be, there is in each of us a spark of the same Divinity.
Getting Past Outward Appearances
If once we let ourselves get past the outward appearance of the individual, we come to understand that Life at the center of his being is the same as at the center of our being. We need never view human personality as something unreal or unworthy, but rather as an individualization of the Divine. It is the universal Spirit that is incarnated in each one in a unique way, and that gives warmth, color, and variation to that which otherwise would be an eternal monotony.
Every man should study to be himself, to be his real self, not some fictitious creation of his imagination with which he seeks to clothe himself. He should so live in and from this real self, from the Divine nature within him, that in his relationships with others each shall give and take, and find joy in the giving and taking.
We should have no desire to win friends and influence people or to put on an attractive personality. A person who persistently maintains an attitude of love and good-fellowship, having freed himself from undue self-criticism and harshness, will find himself surrounded by friendship, appreciation, and loyalty.
All this is in accord with immutable law. To have friends, we first must be a friend. We do not influence people, we cooperate with them. The only personality we can display to the world is our interpretation of the nature of our Divine individuality.
Friendship and all harmonious relationships with others can only be established through love, affection, and kindness. Not the superficial kind, but the real and sincere. It has been demonstrated time and time again that the love of mother for child, brother for brother, man for woman, and person for person, is basic to a normal healthy condition of mind, emotion, and body.
Is it not also true that a sense of love, appreciation, and consideration is just as essential in the contacts of our everyday living? It would definitely appear so. To the extent that we know that love and harmony are the nature of God, and permit them to flow through us, to that extent will our relations with others be harmonious.
We need to know what we are and then just be ourselves without arrogance, without fear, without timidity; be ourselves in quietness, in confidence, and in peace; and know that we are one with all people. Then we will be fulfilling the law that makes for unity among all people, that establishes love, companionship, and human relations that are productive of joy and fulfillment of mutual endeavor.
This does not mean that we will ever have to settle for anything less than harmony. It does not mean that we believe wrong is right, or that we must come to endure unpleasant situations. It does mean that we are establishing harmony and right relations out of what might appear to be chaos and confusion.>
It means that the greater will always supersede the lesser. That love, which is the nature of the Infinite, will always supersede and transcend that which is unlike it. That where enmity may now exist, a love embodied and expressed will replace it. That a life immersed in loneliness can soon be surrounded by friends. That conflict in the home, the office, or at the conference table can be resolved only by that which is greater than conflict — love and harmony which flow from the Divine center of our being, embodied and expressed in our environment.
This article was excerpted with permission from the book:
A New Design for Living
by Ernest Holmes & Willis H. Kinnear.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin, a member of Penguin Group (USA). ©2010. www.us.PenguinGroup.com.
About the Author
Ernest Holmes was an internationally recognized authority on religious psychology and the founder of the Religious Science movement. His inspirational books include the renowned classic The Science of Mind, This Thing Called You, The Art of Life, 365 Science of Mind, The Hidden Power of the Bible, and Creative Mind and Success.
Willis Kinnear, who compiled and edited A New Design for Living, was renowned for his work as editor of Science of Mind Magazine, as well as for his co-authorship of several books with Dr. Holmes.