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A sensual ceremony is a special gift. It is a physical sharing warmth and caring, an expression of tenderness. Giving this gift of pleasure, we invite another to be guided into the inner garden. Here, in the quiet of sanctuary, we nourish each sense. When each sense is nurtured in gentleness, the heart is touched and we experience joy. This is the underlying philosophy. Here are a few ideas to help you raise the level of sensuousness in your sex life.

Sensual Feeding Ceremony

A feeding ceremony can be in combination with a bath, as in a Secret Garden Ceremony, or it can be a ceremony in itself. Here are some guidelines common to both situations.

(Editor's Note.- Further in-depth information on the preparation and arrangements are detailed in Kenneth's book "SensualCeremonies") While you are making the final touches, the recipient can be relaxing, listening to quiet music. Or she could be by the fireplace, sipping hot tea. Hearing the nearby sounds of food preparation may build suspense if she cannot see the activity.

Soften the lights, if possible. Unplug the telephone and eliminate other possible interruptions. Do not burn incense too soon before the actual feeding. Present the food platter for a visual feast. Let it say, This is just for you. Then ask if there is anything there that she wishes not to eat. After setting the platter down, ask if she would like to be surprised or to request something special. If 'to be surprised" is the response, invite her to close her eyes. If the mood shifts to requesting, flow with it.

Focusing on the Sensual Sensations

When feeding slowly, place the selection just in front of her lips so that she can smell the aromas. If she is not aware of the presence, very lightly touch the food to her lips. This feeding is not intended to be a guessing game. Now is time for her to be have direct experience of taste and smell, rather than discussing the topic. Gently encourage focusing on the sensations. Feed with your fingers, an inch above her tongue, squeeze grapes, strawberries, or watermelon and let the sweet juices drop drip by drip. When serving, vary the flavors and textures.. explore combinations. Feed slowly. Wait until she has thoroughly savored the previous serving.

If you should wish to taste too... first ask permission to serve yourself Should she want to feed you, remind her that this is a time for her to be served. She can give that as a gift another time. Exceptions are always negotiable. At some point, let her know that she is to indicate when she is satiated.

Recommended book: 

Erotic Massage: The Tantric Touch of Love
by Kenneth Ray Stubbs (publ. 1999)

Info/Order book 

About The Author

Kenneth Ray Stubbs is a certified massage therapist and a certified sexologist. He has been greatly influenced by Tibetan Buddhism, Taoist philosophy and Native American teachings. The underlying theme in ail Ray's work holds that sensuality and sexuality are integral to spiritual liberation. The above was excerpted with permission from his book, "Sensual Ceremony" ?1992, published by Secret Garden, 1321 Yukon Way, Suite 20, Novato, CA 94947.

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