InnerSelf

by Deborah Heneghan. The best information I've ever heard on the topic of grieving and what happens when we don't do it comes from a retired cop turned public speaker and therapist for police officers, Bobby Smith, PhD. Bobby knows more about grief than per­haps...

by Lama Surya Das. Everyone says that they want to change, but who is ready, willing, and able to actually do so? Are we ready to give up the comfy, secure little nest cozily settled at the bottom of those ruts, those psychological habits...

by Nicholas E. Brink, Ph.D. The realization that my anxiety was caused by deeper feelings of lack of trust and fear of being hurt by others was not enough to allow me to wake up in the morning feeling rested and quiet inside. From my experience...

by Jim Dreaver. What becomes clear is the more you hold on to the need to have things be a certain way, the more emotional charge you are storing up. Then, when expectations are not met, there is pain and suffering...

by Dr. Jennifer Howard. When we feel stuck or want to change something, it usually comes from the desire to improve or rid ourselves of something we don’t like, or that’s painful. Perhaps you’re inspired to change because you see others having or doing...

by Alan Cohen. We can upgrade all kinds of old patterns and situations in a much shorter time than it took to create them. Before we can do that, however, we have to let go of the notion that healing takes a long time, is hard, and requires pain...

by Thomas M. Sterner. Our concepts of ideal and perfect are always changing. The evaluations and judgments we make unconsciously in every second of our lives that jump-start our emotions and bring us much anxiety and stress....

by Stan Goldberg, PhD. In the West, we place our cemeteries away from our everyday lives, as if there were an impermeable barrier separating life and death. We pretend that death will go away if we just ignore it. We know that this isn't true, but...

by AlixSandra Parness. You already know the Yabbits; they are the voices inside your head, the doubts and the put-downs in your mind. Yabbits are the voices that argue against you. Our Yabbits were originally designed to keep us safe by keeping us in line. Yah that looks like fun, but...

by Sarah McLean. When you are suffering in some way, it may seem easier to focus your attention anywhere but on the painful situation at hand. So you distract yourself. Distractions can include focusing on the future, working too hard, compulsively...

by Susan Shumsky, DD. Does happiness arise by attaining a certain status, or by finding the love of your life? If you chase happiness in the things of this world, you will eventually become disillusioned. No matter how much stuff you acquire, how much you are admired or loved...

by Dr. Jennifer Howard. Are you living the life you’ve always dreamed of? I mean, really? Are you the person you want to be? Or is there a persistent issue in your life you’ve yet to change or improve? No matter where you’re starting from, you can go to your next level of happi­ness, wholeness, transformation, and success...

by Thomas M. Sterner. Everything we do is a habit, in one form or another. How we think, how we talk, how we react to criticism, which type of snack we instinctively reach for: all are habits. Even when faced with a circumstance for the first time, we respond to it from habit. We may consider some habits good, others...

by Karen Pine & Ben [C] Fletcher. They say that the most voracious anti-smoking person was probably once a heavy smoker. I (Karen) was at a party and a guy next to me pointed out three people scurrying onto the patio to have a cigarette. He then launched into a rant about smokers being the...

by Thomas M. Sterner. In my piano service business, I worked many seven-day weeks, and some fourteen- to sixteen-hour days. Once, when I had a particularly long day ahead of me, I decided I would put all my effort into deliberately working slowly. I couldn’t get a day off, so going slowly for at least one day seemed rather appealing.

by Jamie Rose. Elliott Jaffa, Ed.D., a behavioral psychologist who conducts "active listening" seminars for businesses and other groups, says, "In reality, very few people really know how to listen. There's more to active listening than sitting back and letting your eardrum collect vibrations. When done properly, it's actually hard work...

by Keith Johnson. My life was spinning out of control. I hated myself. I hated life. I hated people. My life was going nowhere. My childhood thoughts — I'm stupid, I'm not good enough, I'm not loved, and it's wrong to express myself — had contaminated my adult life and were crippling me by hindering my confidence, true potential, and success...

by Meryl Hershey Beck, MA, MEd, LPCC. It is time to stop being your own worst enemy and begin to become your own best friend. As a psychotherapist, I see time and time again the adverse effects of my clients' lack of self-care. In general...

by Nicolya Christi. As we move into 2013, our ongoing commitment to an era of peace on Earth is essential to enable the divine blueprint of the new Earth to begin activation. It is vital that you understand what you are here to contribute and how to do this.

by Stewart Pearce. We need to awaken a crucial understanding at this time of evolution... What we need to become aware of is that the choices many of us have made on Planet Earth are not resounding with the highest truth, and therefore our planet is not evolving as fully as it could...

by Gail McMeekin. Women have long had the self-destructive habit of discounting themselves and their natural abilities. This is a common gremlin, assuming that what comes easily to us is not valuable or unique. It's all part of our training to push others into the limelight and be a support person rather than...

by Brooks Palmer. I’ve noticed that a number of recent self-improvement books use the phrase becoming a better you. The problem with trying to be a “better you” is the implication that you are not okay now. It also presumes that there’s an objective standard of okayness. Often we want to be “better” so that...

by Tami Quinn, Beth Heller. Since change is the only constant in life, we have to get used to the idea that letting go of our fear of the unknown allows us the opportunity to create space and the potential to birth something new and potentially greater in our lives...

by Richard Bach. When the hypnotist's hand touched his shoulder, he tilted with the pressure. Blacksmyth caught him at once, thanked the other volunteers and dismissed them. Things had gone too far. "I'm sorry," Jamie whispered, "but I can't be hypnotized"...

by Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW. Whenever you find yourself in a difficult or uncomfortable situation, think of three things that you’re glad about even in this unpleasant moment. They can be things that you’re glad are not happening or things that you’re glad are hap­pening. Feel...

by Ken Druck, Ph.D. “Live in the moment!” bumper stickers cry. “Live in the now!” self-help books declare. Movies like The Bucket List preach the importance of living life in all its fullness before your time on earth is up. And yet, “being in the now” is easier said than done, right?

by William R. Yoder. Desire and manifestation: This is clearly one of the most popular topics in the self-help and happiness literature today. The prevailing idea is that we will be really happy when all of our current desires are manifested — when we become and have everything we want. The positive or negative effect that desires have on our lives is...

by Dr. Joe Dispenza. By your mid-30s or 40s, you wake up every morning and you feel like the same person. Your environment, which you relied on so heavily to remove your pain or guilt or suffering, is no longer taking away those feelings. This is the midlife crisis that most people know about...

by Brooks Palmer. Giving yourself permission to let go of what doesn’t serve you is very powerful. You will become highly energized. People who have done clutter busting on their own have told me about how they were enjoying the feeling of openness and freedom. Then suddenly, it became too much, and they stopped the clutter bust.

by Robert L. Leahy, Ph.D. Problematic ways of seeking support -- acting like a victim, rejecting help, getting angry at people “for not understanding,” pouting, and escalating your complaints so that they sound like reports of catastrophes -- are likely to backfire and drive people away. However, you can learn to ask for help in a reasonable way.

by Karen Pine & Ben [C] Fletcher. Do you have a favourite coffee mug and get a bit miffed if a guest inadvertently uses it? Do you have 'your' side of the bed? We all have an affinity with repetition and habit, often when there's no good reason for it. It's just familiarity, our comfort zone.

by Marie T. Russell. Many times we seem to experience life as if we have no power to make changes -- no power to make a difference. If you don't feel powerful, or if you feel that power is unavailable to you, take a look at where, in your daily life (and in your past), you have relinquished your power.

by Starhawk. Mediation is appropriate in cases of miscommunication or misunderstandings, to clear up hurt feelings and hurtful interactions. Mediation implies that we can find a win-win solution, that no one is either completely right or completely wrong and that both parties can come to share a mutual purpose.

by Mary Anne Radmacher. I knew the joys were there but I'd opted out of readily seeing them. For a period of six months every time I was aware of something drawing a literal YAY out of me, I wrote down whatever it was that caused it...

by Bronnie Ware. When I left yet another 'good job' to go and live on the island, confusion reigned. 'Why would she do that? Where is she going to this time?' And through all of this I was just thinking with excitement, 'I'm going to live on an island!'

by Imre Vallyon. Most of us find it difficult to change things. If you look at ordinary life and ordinary people, you will discover that they also find it very difficult to change things. Some people haven’t changed since they left school. At eighty years old they are still the same as when they left school...

by Alan Cohen. I recently painted a deck on my house. I enjoy painting, a meditation in being present that doesn’t require much thought but lots of attention. Your hands may get dirty but your mind will stay clean. With just a few planks left to color I noticed I was almost out of paint...

by Mary Anne Radmacher. Complain­ing draws attention away from all the good things that unfold. It's as if complaint puts a mask over our sight: too busy identifying what is wrong, all the things that are right march on by. While there are so many motivations behind complaining...

by Lisa McCourt. What if the things you hate most about your current situation are your greatest blessings in disguise? What if everything that’s ever unfolded in your entire life has been the precisely necessary thing to bring you to this mysteriously perfect moment? If that...

by Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW. When you catch yourself complaining about the weather, stop. Sim­ply say, “Really? I love this weather.” Usually that produces a shock effect. Remember that all kinds of weather are necessary to keep this earth healthy. So...