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As I was reflecting the other day on love -- loving ourselves, loving our neighbor, loving the world itself -- it came to me that with all the "stigma" attached to the word love, sometimes we may be at a loss as to what it means. Love has been portrayed as sex, or as martyrdom, or as self-aggrandizement, or as co-dependence. Thus when we speak of loving ourselves or loving others, we may be unclear at to exactly what that means.

A much simpler way, and maybe a more understandable way, to express that goal or vision is simply to say "Be Kind". Think about it, when we are kind to someone we are definitely not unloving -- when we are kind to ourselves, that is loving ourselves -- when we are kind to the Earth, we are demonstrating love in action.

So maybe rather than trying to practice Love Thy Neighbor As Thyself, we could better understand and practice, Be Kind to Your Neighbor and To Your Self.

Be Kind. Now we all know what that means. Being kind has no connotations (as love can have) of sexuality or martyrdom. Being kind is simply that -- being kind to others, being kind to ourselves. For me, it just made Loving Myself and Loving My Neighbor a whole lot simpler. I just have to "be kind" to myself, to "be kind" to my neighbor. I focus on having kind thoughts, kind motives, kind actions.

Random Acts of Kindness

You may remember some years back a movement had started having to do with Practicing Random Acts of Kindness. This involved such things as putting money into parking meters when you saw they were about to expire -- even if you had no idea whose car it was that you saving from a parking ticket. It also involved paying for the person behind you when you got to the toll booth. It had to do with being kind to people without expecting any reward or thanks. Being kind to strangers. Being kind just to be kind -- not because someone expected it of you, or because you felt guilty. It was simply an act of love - unselfish, unwarranted, unexpected.

We all certainly can use more kindness in our lives. When we eat foods that we know are harmful to our health and well-being, are we being kind to our body, to ourselves? When we insult someone, or hold a grudge and seethe with resentment, are we being kind -- either to ourselves or to them? After all, holding on to anger raises our blood pressure and creates havoc in our own body - never mind the effect on the peace and harmony in the room.

Am I Being Kind?

The question to ask ourselves as we go about our day is "Am I Being Kind?" The other day, as I sat with a friend, I started teasing her about something. As I did so, all of a sudden I realized that I wasn't being kind. Oops. Now, my goal is to remember, before I respond with anger or impatience, or even teasingly, to ask myself "Am I being kind?" I find that a lot of things that I "normally" thought were fine (even jokes about our government officials) are not kind. So I rephrase my thoughts or words to be kind -- honest, but kind.

It makes me feel better about myself when I'm being kind and I'm sure it makes the people around me feel better as well.

Here's to all of us -- and the whole planet -- practicing being kind to each other.

RECOMMENDED BOOK:

Random Acts of Kindness
by Dawna Markova.

A book that encourages grace through the smallest gestures. Its true stories, thoughtful quotations, and suggestions for generosity inspire readers to live more compassionately in this beautiful new edition.   

Info/Order this book.

About The Author

Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.

More articles by Marie T. Russell

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