InnerSelf.com

All things are alive, and all possess intrinsic worth. Native American spirituality focuses on the harmony and balance that come from our connection with all parts of the universe in which everything has the purpose and value exemplary of "personhood," including all plants (e.g., "tree people"), animals ("our four-legged brothers and sisters"), rocks and minerals ("rock people"), the land ("Mother Earth"), the winds ("the Four Powers"), "Father Sky," "Grandfather Sun," "Grandmother Moon," and "The Red Thunder Beings." As with humankind, all of these beings possess intrinsic worth and natural purpose in the greater scheme of things.

Within this view lies the most powerful sense of belonging and connectedness, as well as a deep respect for "all our relations." Spiritual "being" essentially requires only that we seek our place in the universe; everything else will follow in good time. Since everyone and everything was created with a specific purpose to fulfill, no one should have the power to interfere or to impose upon others which is the best path to follow. This is the value of choice.

In the Medicine Way, the significance of relationship lies in a balance struck between an all-encompassing sense of belonging and connectedness with our relations and the practice of noninterference. The highest form of respect for another person is respecting his or her natural right to be self-determining. This means not interfering with another person's ability to choose, even when it is to keep that person from doing something foolish or dangerous. Every experience holds a valuable lesson -- even in death, there is valuable learning that the spirit carries forth. Noninterference means caring in a respectful way. And it is the way of "right relationship."

Interfering with the activity of others, by way of aggression, for example, cannot and should not be encouraged or tolerated. This is not only disrespectful, but it violates the natural order of harmony and balance in which each being has to learn and experience life in his or her own way. Each person, each living being on Mother Earth, has his or her own Medicine that should not be disrupted or changed without that person choosing it. This is part of the learning. What moves the Circle is choice, and what keeps the Circle is kindness and respect for the natural flow of life-energy.

Jimm Good Tracks has said that "patience is the number one virtue governing Indian relationships." Respect often requires patience -- demands patience -- of us since things are rarely going to go the way that we expect them to. Yet, we have the tendency to want to change how things are, rather than changing what we expect. "Pain" is really nothing more than the difference between what is and what we want it to be. To be respectful of all things, we often must sacrifice expectation.

This is the real beauty of noninterference. It gives us the ability to release some of the things that would otherwise bind us or weigh us down and disrupt our own natural flow. Indeed, some things really are "out of our hands," or at least we should approach them that way. Why take on the burden of something that would be better left alone or to run its own course, especially when it involves the choices of others? What others choose is not something we can control, nor should we attempt to do so. It is harmful both ways. Besides, what others choose is none of our business, and we should never assume that it is. This shows lack of wisdom and respect. It also shows a lack of trust in others' ability to choose, to experience, to learn.

You might be thinking, "Well, what if what they are choosing affects me?" This is a very valid and wise question. And truly, in the Circle, what others choose affects us all. We can only hope that they are walking the path of Good Medicine, and we can do what we must to protect ourselves if they are not. But it is never our place to change or influence them or their energy -- unless we have permission from them. Even then, they still possess choice. Permission is very, very important. Think of how many times someone has entered "your space" without bothering to ask permission. How did that make you feel? How do others feel when you do the same to them. Is it any different? Is it necessary?

Think about the word "respect." What does it mean? What does it really mean? Well, it can mean many different things. But the word itself refers to the idea of "looking again" taken from the Latin ("re-" back + "specere" to look). What it implies is an openness and willingness to take a good look with deferential regard, or to view something or someone with great interest and admiration.

So why is respect so important? In order to answer that question, I will ask you by contrast to think back on some of the times when others have not bothered showing respect for you or the things that are important to you. Rather than asking if you now know the answer, I will ask if you feel the answer. Those times that you recalled were times in which your harmony and balance were disrupted, were they not? So why is respect so important? It is an honoring of the intrinsic worth possessed by every living being in the Greater Circle where nothing is greater or lesser than anything else. "All things are connected like the blood that unites one family."

Very often we think of respect in terms of something tangible that others must give to us when we have power over them in some way. We think not in terms of "relation," but in terms of "domination" and thus, "expectation." And so, even without thinking about it, we strive for power over others in some rather clever ways. That's real respect, right? Wrong.

All of us have our own personal distance, or our own "sacred space" that is controlled only by us, and filled only by us unless we invite someone else into it. And every one of us has, at one time or another, experienced a violation of our sacred space whether it was intentional or not. For example, someone bumps into us or stands too close. There are obvious social and cultural norms for what is considered appropriate distancing between people. However, there are many circumstances under which people have little choice over distancing as others violate our sacred space, either knowingly or unknowingly. We all know that feeling of awkwardness, of tension, of irritation, or outright anger and hostility. How dare they be so presumptuous and inconsiderate, right?