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My stepfather, Claude, had been in ICU for several days already. Day after day, my mother and I sat at his bedside, praying. This particular evening, he became extremely agitated. On several occasions, he hallucinated.

Claude was the minister at a local church, and throughout that day he had fantasized being at a meeting, preparing for a wedding, or asking us to arrange the tables for a banquet. We pretended to comply, not wanting to upset him. At one point, he looked me in the eyes and calmly stated, “If you leave me alone tonight, I will die.” There was no way I was leaving!

Even though it was against regulations, the hospital staff agreed I could stay. I sent Mother home, urging her to rest.

Why Had God Abandoned Us?

Looking at his mangled body reminded me of my own broken life. I had grown up in a home with an abusive parent, leaving me a timid and fearful child. To escape the painful memories, I married young. Nine bitter, lonely years and two children later, we divorced. One of my children suffered with bipolar disorder so severely that three times she tried to commit suicide. She turned to drugs.

Alcohol became my personal avoidance method, and many nights Jack Daniels helped me temporarily lose my woes in a drunken oblivion. It seemed everyone I knew was looking for a way out. The previous year, my older sister, after suffering through years of depression, had taken her own life. Sometimes, I envied her; she no longer had to struggle with the burden of this life.

Sitting here in the hospital staring at a “man of God” writhing in pain, I had to wonder if he felt like me. Did he also question why a loving God would abandon him?

Sermon from the ICU Hospital Bed

Sometime around 3 a.m., I heard Claude stirring in bed. He mumbled and moaned with pain. The enormous amount of morphine dripping into his veins was obviously not enough to keep him comfortable. He suddenly sat straight up in bed. I was shocked. It usually took two of us to turn him over, and he had not been able to even raise his head alone!

Without a pause, Claude began one of the most amazing sermons I had ever heard. His voice was clear and strong. I frantically glanced around, hoping someone else would come into the room to witness this. No one did. I, alone, was meant to hear.

Visualization, Imagination, and Healing

My stepfather spoke of the importance of using visualization to create a positive state of mind. He urged his invisible audience to use their imaginations to see their circumstances in a better light. He said that seeing things in a positive vein, as if it is the truth, would mirror that perception in reality. Visualization, he went on to say, was a way to bring healing and hopes into expression, because seeing things the way one wished they were would cause them to become one’s experience. For 15 minutes, he eloquently described how thoughts and actions become reality.

It was Claude’s voice — his body — that delivered that sermon, but the source of those words was not of this world. He had never before uttered the word “visualization” to me! He came from a background of traditional practices, and these ideas were foreign to a conservative church like his. Even though he acted as if this were one of his usual Sunday sermons, he would never have said these things in his own church.

I chuckled as I imagined the response he would receive if he repeated this sermon to his own congregation. I was also entranced by it. This concept was something I was open to. This sermon, clearly, was meant for me. I perched on the edge of my chair, eagerly listening, barely breathing for fear of missing even one word. Every sentence was relevant for me. Every word was directed at my attitude toward life.

Just as suddenly as it all began, it ended. He fell back on his pillow and was sleeping once again. I sat motionless — stunned. I understood why I had needed to stay that night.

Something Good Will Come From This

After years of endless begging for God to explain the “why” of my life, I had received the answer. Every past experience, whether defined by me as good or bad, held a gift — an answer — if only I chose to recognize it. Until now, I had seen only the bad. I had lived immersed in negativity. Now, I could look back without regret or blame. I could choose to see things differently. All my experiences had benefited, even accelerated, my growth. I had always had the option of choosing forgiveness, love, and joy. In all that asking for answers, I had never listened — until now.

A few days later, the time came for me to return home. I bent down to tell Claude I had to go. Tears streamed down my cheeks as he reached out and gently wrapped his hands around mine.

“Something good will come from this,” he told me.

A New Start: Love & Responsibility

He was right. Something good did come from that experience. I never again took another drink of alcohol. I learned to observe the traumas of my life without becoming absorbed in their drama. I dusted off my Bible and returned to the roots of my spiritual understanding. No longer did I hang on to past resentments and anger. God was so much nearer than I had ever realized, and I saw God in everything.

Most importantly, however, I went back and rescued the abandoned little girl of my youth. I told her how much I loved her. I promised her I would always be there for her and I would never leave her fate in the hands of others again. I understood that I was the one responsible for taking care of her.

This article was excerpted with permission from the book:

When God Spoke To Me: The Inspiring Stories of Ordinary People Who Have Received Divine Guidance and Wisdom
compiled and edited by DavidPaul Doyle.

Reprinted with permission of the publisher, New Page Books, a division of The Career Press, Inc. ©2010. www.newpagebooks.com

Click here for more info and/or to order this book.

Read two more excerpts from this book.

About the Authors

Jodi McDonald earned her BS in education from Midwestern State University, and has served as a teacher and director in two alternative educational facilities. She and her husband currently own a homebuilding business in New Braunfels, Texas.

DavidPaul Doyle is the editor of the book When God Spoke to Me. He is also the author of The Voice for Love: Accessing Your Inner Voice to Fulfill Your Life’s Purpose DavidPaul has traveled worldwide conducting workshops to help others open themselves to God’s voice and discover their own true nature. His passion is reaching people everywhere with the gift of spiritual discovery through books, seminars, and tele-classes. Visit his website at www.thevoiceforlove.com

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