Want to Be Happy? Don't Take Your Emotions Personally

People can feel overwhelmed by their emotions. Sometimes being overwhelmed is what needs to happen. It is important to notice that the feelings and emotions come in waves.

If you are being overtaken by a wave of emotion, there is really nothing to do but let it happen. At the same time, be very aware of everything you are feeling. Whether you label it as fear, anger, sadness, or some other emotion, don't get lost in a story about it. Stay present with the feeling, and allow it to unfold, to have its expression.

Let The Waves of Feeling Come and Go

The key is allowing everything to arise, especially your emotions. Let the waves of feeling come when they come. Don't try to resist or get caught up in thinking, analyzing, judging, or trying to understand what is happening. Just stay present and be very aware. Notice if there are sensations in different parts of your body as the emotions ebb and flow. If it starts to get overwhelming, remind yourself, "This too shall pass."

The more you allow yourself to just experience whatever you're experiencing, staying completely present in the here and now with your awareness, the more the meaning of those experiences will be revealed. Sometimes a situation is confusing, and not till much later does insight dawn.

What becomes clear on this path of awakening is the more you hold on to the need to have things be a certain way, the more you insist, "This isn't right," or "That should not be allowed," the more emotional charge you are storing up.


innerself subscribe graphic


Then, when expectations are not met, there is pain and suffering. If someone belittles you, puts you down in some way, or betrays you, it may be expressed as resentment or anger.

So the work is to welcome, or at least accept your suffering, and then look at what you are inwardly holding onto, the beliefs, expectations, pictures, and ideas. Look at the story you are telling yourself about who you are and what you need to be happy. Begin to see it is only a story, a story you are making up. It is a story entirely of your own creation.

You Are Not the Story -- You Are the Creator of the Story

Want to Be Happy? Don't Take Your Emotions PersonallyRealize you are not the story, but the luminous ever-present consciousness that looks at the story, that creates the story, and you'll have a genuine experience, a taste, of freedom.

Freedom comes as you see the story for what it is: a figment of your own creation. When you're not holding on to any idea or image of yourself, there's no buildup of emotional energy. You are simply open to life in the present.

The secret is in emphasizing awareness itself, having all your senses alert, and not getting lost in thinking. Then your head will be clear, and you will feel the deeper energy, the deeper beauty and power of creation itself, and it will nourish you. Then your emotions will come into balance. They will arise spontaneously and authentically.

You will feel sadness at the loss of a loved one, or perhaps in a moment of being confronted with the tremendous suffering of so many innocent people in our world. Or you might feel anger whenever you are reminded of the terrible injustices still taking place, the brutality, the subjugation of one group of people by another.

But none of these feelings will be taken too personally. The “I” won't jump in and make some new kind of story out of them, such as a victim story, as in, "Woe is me, the world is too awful and I am too sensitive to live in it." People who really believe they are victims are always telling their tales of suffering to anyone who will listen, and this constant reinforcement of their stories just keeps them stuck.

Letting Go of the Identification with Your Story

As you grasp this teaching and let go of the attachment to and identification with your own story, you begin to know yourself as awareness, the pure consciousness behind everything. You start to free yourself.

The paradox of awakening or enlightenment is that while you feel very deeply, you don't take your feelings personally. Once you let go of the identification with your own story, you learn to let go of the attachment to other peoples' stories as well.

Then, in the clarity of your true nature, you see what action, if any, needs to be taken. If something needs to be done about the situation triggering the emotional response, you'll know what to do, and you'll do it. But you won't make a big drama out of it.

If you choose to be involved in an intimate relationship, as most of us do, then, no matter how awake and free you are, your feelings are always going to be somewhat at risk. If you experience rejection, abandonment, or betrayal from a person you love, you will certainly feel some kind of a sting, and it may even last a while. Perhaps there is some lesson to be learned from the experience.

But know this: if your awakening is genuine, deep down you will still be at peace within. The peace never goes away.

An Unobstructed View of the Rising Moon

In this regard, I am reminded of a Zen saying: "Now that my house has burned to the ground, I have an unobstructed view of the rising moon."

This is one of the most exquisite teachings on what it means to be inwardly free. You don't want your house to burn down (or your relationship to end), and if it's on fire, you do everything you can to save it. If your house does burn down, you will naturally grieve the loss. But then, at some point, you look up above the smoking ruins, and there the huge, pale silver orb of the moon becomes visible, creeping slowly up into the night sky.

What a magnificent sight! Ah, such beauty, such beauty that is always here, even in the midst of sorrow.

Reprinted with permission of Hampton Roads Publishing Co.
©2010, 2011.
Dist. by Red Wheel Weiser.
www.redwheelweiser.com

Article Source

End Your Story, Begin Your Life: Wake Up, Let Go, Live Free by Jim Dreaver.End Your Story, Begin Your Life: Wake Up, Let Go, Live Free
by Jim Dreaver.

Click here for more info and/or to order this book.

About the Author

Jim Dreaver, author of: End Your Story, Begin Your Life--Wake Up, Let Go, Live FreeJim Dreaver has been guiding others in the fields of mind/body integration, stress-management, and personal mastery for twenty-five years. He is a speaker and teacher who has appeared at conferences and workshops across the country, including the Esalen Institute and the Whole Life Expo. Jim is also the author of "The Way of Harmony", "The Ultimate Cure", and "Somatic Technique". For information about his work and speaking schedule, please visit his website at www.jimdreaver.com