“The purpose of life is to learn”: An Indigenous Approach to Research

“The purpose of life is to learn”: An Indigenous Approach to Research How does the mainstream Western research approach, characterized by the laboratory experiment, compare with an Indigenous approach? Danny Musqua, the Anishnabeq elder who is my spiritual father, tells a story about his Indigenous research effort.

Why Young Men Have Sex They Don’t Actually Want

Why Young Men Have Sex They Don’t Actually WantHeterosexual men have unwanted sex with women for two reasons, interviews with 39 college men suggest: in order to conform to gender expectations and to avoid uncomfortable interactions.

Attempting To Un­derstand Love and the Mechanisms Leading To Happiness

Attempting To Un­derstand Love and the Mechanisms Leading To HappinessWe all have hopes, dreams, and desires that inspire our lives. We all strive to attain happiness in life. If we agree on this common goal, we may ask our­selves how we can reliably achieve it. We recognize that love is a key factor in realizing happiness, yet we...

Why Do We Always Seem To Repeat The Same Lesson?

Why Do We Always Seem To Repeat The Same Lesson?Have you ever noticed that lessons tend to repeat themselves? Does it seem as if you married or dated the same person several times in different bodies with different names? Have you run into the same type of boss over and over again? Do you find yourself having the same problem with many different coworkers?

The Horror And Pleasure Of Misused Words

The Horror And Pleasure Of Misused WordsAmerican film director Judd Apatow once confessed to Stephen Colbert that he’d been mispronouncing his wife's name for nearly two decades. He’d been saying “Lez-lee”, while she pronounces it as “Less-lee”. When he asked her why she hadn’t corrected his mistake, she said she “thought he wouldn’t be able to make the adjustment”. 

How To Help Children Recover From The Trauma Of Disaster

How To Help Children Recover From The Trauma Of DisasterIn any culture, children hit by a natural disaster will see family members undergo huge amounts of stress and worry. They may be forced to live in temporary accommodation, and experience many changes to their usual routines and social circles.

The Quality of Mercy: Choosing Kindness and Love

The Quality of Mercy: Choosing Kindness and LoveAn elementary schoolteacher asked her students to describe in a sentence, “What is love?” The teacher received many humorous and touching answers, yet the one that moved her the most was: “Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.”

Why Men Also Get Postnatal Depression

Why Men Also Get Postnatal DepressionOver the past few years, there has been an increase in media reports about postnatal depression and other maternal mental illnesses, and campaigns have led to greater understanding about the need for more specialist services.

Americans Agree About What Makes Them Feel Loved

Americans Agree About What Makes Them Feel LovedPeople in the United States may largely agree about what gestures and actions make them feel most loved. In a new study, researchers found that small, non-romantic gestures—like someone showing compassion or snuggling with a child—topped the list of what makes people feel loved.

Catching Other People's Bad Moods? A Few Tips for Smoothing Your Way

You Can Be a Radiant Sun! A Few Tips for Smoothing Your WayWe are all becoming ultrasensitive now, and our level of telepathy is increasing. Without realizing it, you may frequency-match the low vibrations and troubled thoughts floating around just below the surface in the nonphysical world — and wonder why your mood suddenly changes from cheerful to somber...

Blues, Blues, Go Away

Blues, Blues, Go AwayWhen you do something with a negative attitude or in a negative (resentful) frame of mind, you will get the same kind of results on an energy level. As you sow, so shall you reap.

When Is The Right Time For Your Child To Take A Test?

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Standardized tests have become the primary tool for determining a student’s academic ability. Legislators and administrators use test data to evaluate the effectiveness of schooling on children and create curriculum.

Loneliness Can Be More Deadly Than Obesity

Why Loneliness Can Be More Deadly Than ObesityIndependence is glorified in North American culture as a symbol of strength. As a society, we value individual achievement and extol self-reliance.

Why Parents Should Never Spank Children

Why Parents Should Never Spank Children

There is no research evidence that spanking improves child behavior. On the contrary, spanking is associated with aggression, antisocial behavior, mental health problems and negative relationships with parents. 

Is Sexual Harassment Part Of Growing Up

Is Sexual Harassment Part Of Growing UpAllegations about sexual harassment in Hollywood, British politics and various other sectors have exposed a reality already familiar to most women.

Why Is It Nice To Be Nice?

Why Is It Nice To Be Nice?

World Kindness Day is a global 24-hour celebration dedicated to paying-it-forward and focusing on the good. We are encouraged to perform acts of kindness such as giving blood, cleaning a communal microwave at work, or volunteering at a nursing home.

How To Live From Your Heart and Welcome Everyone with Love

How To Live From Your Heart & Welcome Everyone with LoveIn order to reach the summit of your own personal mountain, your mandate must be to love, inspire, and serve others in whatever you do -- not in some lofty purpose "over there," but in your daily life, right where you are right now. Every night before you go to bed, it helps to...

How to Heal a Painful Family Relationship

How to Heal a Painful Family RelationshipOur relationships with parents, children, siblings, and spouses can be very complex puzzles of love and frustration — we can’t live with them and can’t live without them. We often have long-held patterns and painful feelings related to our sense of worth...

The Three Parts of Relationship: You, Me, and We

The Three Parts of Relationship: You, Me, and WeWe are always in a relationship of some sort. A relationship contains three components: you, someone or something else, and the actual coming together of the two of you: the rela­tionship itself, the Third Circle.

Choosing Another Way: Intimacy With Yourself First

Choosing Another Way: Intimacy With Yourself FirstNone of us ever truly forgets the nurturing, warm comfort of the womb. We spend our lives trying to re-create that feeling of being held and protected. Nor do we forget the pain of individuation, of leaving Mother and home. We seek throughout our lives to have the separation and the resulting loneliness filled with meaningful relationships...

Are We Hardwired To Pick Up Crying Babies?

Are We Hardwired To Pick Up Crying Babies?Newborn babies have a remarkable amount of power. Though there are few things they can do for themselves, they can manipulate the world around them by summoning help with a simple wail. 

Fewer Are Getting Married. Is Marriage Becoming Obsolete?

Fewer Are Getting Married. Is Marriage Becoming Obsolete?There’s no doubt: Fewer people are making a commitment to marriage. Barely “more than half of adults in the U.S. say they’re living with a spouse. It is the lowest share on record, and down from 70 percent in 1967.”

Why Bystanders Rarely Speak Up When They Witness Sexual Harassment

Why Bystanders Rarely Speak Up When They Witness Sexual HarassmentThe uproar over allegations that Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein sexually abused and harassed dozens of the women he worked with is inspiring countless women (and some men) to share their own personal sexual harassment and assault stories.

Are You Helping Your Friends Too Much?

Are You Helping Your Friends Too Much?Although most of us don't mind doing favors now and then, unhappily, some people have no qualms about inconveniencing others if doing so helps them achieve their goals. Although helping these people may give us some pleasure initially, our good feelings vanish when we finally realize we are being used.

Honoring Your Sacred Space: Soul and the Heart Center

Honoring Your Sacred Space: Soul and the Heart Center We do not need history to tell us that having created every kind of sacred space around the world has not ensured that human beings are guided by unconditional love and the wisdom of the soul. The missing link is the heart. This is why the wisdom teachings of heart-centeredness are always revolutionary at whatever time and wherever they appear.

Teens Are Sleeping Less But There's A Surprisingly Easy Fix

Teens Are Sleeping Less But There's A Surprisingly Easy FixSleep experts agree that teens need at least nine hours of sleep a night. But by 2015, 43 percent of teens reported sleeping less than seven hours a night on most nights – meaning almost half of U.S. teens are significantly sleep-deprived.

Developing True Heart Connection and the Capacity for Love and Happiness

Developing True Heart Connection and the Capacity for Love and HappinessThroughout our lives we long to love ourselves more deeply and to feel connected with others. Instead, we often contract, fear intimacy, and suffer a bewildering sense of separation. We crave love, and yet we are lonely. Our delusion of being separate from one another gives rise to all of this pain. What is the way out of...

This Is Why Child Obesity Rates Have Soared

This Is Why Child Obesity Rates Have SoaredNew data on almost 13 million people, from 200 countries around the world, points to a tenfold increase in rates of obesity among children and adolescents over the last four decades.

Surprising Facts About How We Talk To Babies

Surprising Facts About How We Talk To BabiesHere’s an experiment to try next time you meet a baby, try holding a normal conversation. It is very difficult, isn’t it? Yes it is! Oh, yes it is!

Why Having The Sex Talk Early And Often With Your Kids Is Good For Them

Why Having The Sex Talk Early And Often With Your Kids Is Good For ThemParents may be uncomfortable initiating “the sex talk,” but whether they want to or not, parents teach their kids about sex and sexuality. Kids learn early what a sexual relationship looks like.

Why Asking What Causes Autism Is The Wrong Question

Why Asking What Causes Autism Is The Wrong QuestionThe animal rights charity PETA recently made a link between autism and drinking cow’s milk. The article on its website discussed research that linked a dairy-free diet with a reduction in symptoms of autism in children. 

How To Allow Yourself To Be Authentic When You’re Scared to Be Real

How To Allow Yourself To Be Authentic When You’re Scared to Be RealWe each speak around 16,000 words each day. But that number pales in comparison to all the things we don’t say. We want to tell people when we’re hurting, but we’re afraid of looking weak and inferior. We want to share our dreams, but we’re afraid of...

A Hawai'ian Formula To Free Yourself and Install A New Life

Following A Hawai'ian Formula and Installing A New Life
Being happy is an attitude to life that is less determined by outside circumstances and more by inner qualities. A person’s character and mind is stable when their inner family is in harmony. As a metaphysician would put it: ‘It’s the same on the inside as the outside.’

How Sharing Parenting Duties Could Be Key To Marital Bliss

sharing parental duties 10 5The quality of women’s relationships with their partner is diminished if they view their parenting division as unfair or want to spend more time working, our new study of employed parents in Canada has found.

Healthy Boundaries: Why You Need Them and How To Create Them

What Are Healthy Boundaries? Why Do You Need Them and How Do You Create Them?Your boundary is the place where you end and another begins. A boundary marks your emotional, physical, and energetic space. Having it ensures your ability to act from your own center and connect to your spiritual Source...

Relationships That Can Secure, Challenge, Or Befriend The Soul

Relationships That Can Secure, Challenge, Or Befriend The SoulPsychoanalyst Heinz Kohut identified three kinds of relationship experience. The first, in which another affirms the validity of our strivings, secures our soul. The second, in which somebody appears to be everything we would like to become, challenges our soul. The third...

How to Awaken to What Is Truly Good for Each and Every One

Awakening to “The Good” and to a Deep Sense of OnenessIf we can choose the way we act, we have the responsibility to choose it wisely. Evidently, we can act to maximize our own self-interest, and that is what most people do most of the time. But we can also act with a measure of altruism and public spirit. Acting in that way may not be contrary to our self-interest...

Children And Sleep: How Much Do They Really Need?

Children And Sleep: How Much Do They Really Need?In parenting, there aren’t often straightforward answers, and sleep tends to be contentious. There are questions about whether we are overstating children’s sleep problems.

You Can Catch Your Friend’s Mood, But Not Depression

You Can Catch Your Friend’s Mood, But Not DepressionNew research suggests we can “pick up” good and bad moods from friends, but not depression. “We investigated whether there is evidence for the individual components of mood (such as appetite, tiredness, and sleep) spreading through US adolescent friendship networks..."

When The Things That Trigger Our Emotions Aren't Real

When The Things That Trigger Our Emotions Aren't RealWhen we talk about it on paper, detaching or reducing our level of attachment doesn't sound so dif­ficult. There is no need to complicate anything; we keep it simple, moving from one interaction to another without becoming too attached to any one outcome. But in life it rarely happens this way...

How A Baby's Brain Prepares For The Outside World

How A Baby's Brain Prepares For The Outside WorldThe developing brain is not merely a downsized version of that of an adult, but is uniquely designed to prepare itself for the external world. It has structures and functions whose sole role is to set up the basic circuits required for life after birth

Why More Grandparents Are Raising Their Grandchildren

Why More Grandparents Are Raising Their GrandchildrenSunday, Sept. 10, 2017 is Grandparents Day. Many grandparents will receive loving cards, calls and emails from their grandchildren. However, so-called “custodial grandparents” have primary responsibility for raising one or more of their grandchildren. 

How Men And Women Really See Each Other

How Men And Women Really See Each OtherI saw two very different shows at the Edinburgh Fringe last week, two shows that dealt with the subject of how men and women talk about each other, in very different formats and with very different levels of success.

Words of Wisdom That Changed My Perception

Words of Wisdom That Changed My PerceptionThe list was one I never thought I would make. I stared at the book titles I had jotted down for reference; each of them looked at divorce from a different angle. I felt I was at the end of my rope as I drifted farther and farther away from any hope of restoring the unity we...

My Personal Journey with the Ancestors

My Personal Journey with the AncestorsWhen I was seven years old, my father’s father died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. His death rippled through the family, particularly affecting my grandmother and his sons. As a child I was shielded from much of this impact, and before this moment I had never...

How To Help Kids Innovate From An Early Age

How To Help Kids Innovate From An Early AgeAs community makerspaces begin to take root in Ontario’s elementary schools, students are behaving better. They are also getting higher grades. What are makerspaces? They’re creative spaces where students can gather to explore, tinker, discover and create, and they’re making students more enthusiastic about school.

Who's Avoiding Intercourse, And Why

Who's Avoiding Intercourse, And WhySex has a strong influence on many aspects of well-being: it is one of our most basic physiological needs. But millions of people spend at least some of their adulthood not having sex.

If Life Is A Chess Game, How Do You Win It?

Life Is A Chess Game You're Learning to PlayWillingness to explore your self-imposed limitations is essential to growth and to healing, but you cannot simply decide to be willing. Everything is a journey and a process of unfoldment. You may be saying right now, “I am willing!” And what good does it do you?

Swirling Through The Five Stages of Abandonment

Swirling Through The Five Stages of AbandonmentAbout six months into my heartbreak, I had a rude awakening. I was sitting on my bed pulling up my stockings. A mirrored door was ajar and its reflection caught me off guard. In a flash, I recognized the woman hunched over her feet, glowering at the mirror. It was me, caught in a moment of self-revulsion.

How Clean Eating Can Damage Children's Health

How Clean Eating Can Damage Children's Health"Clean eating” is the perfect buzz term for parents who are faced with supermarket shelves full of baby and toddler food which is high in sugar content and low in nutritional value.But while some clean eating plans are focused on a balanced diet, others are extreme.

Why Kids Need Risk, Fear And Excitement In Play

Why Kids Need Risk, Fear And Excitement In PlayConcerned parents can often be heard urging safety when children are at play. Recent research suggests this may be over-protective and that kids need more opportunities for risky play outdoors.

Are Our Families A School for Compassion and Unfinished Business?

Are Our Families A School for Compassion and Unfinished Business?If we don’t see ourselves as worthwhile contributors to society and we don’t approach our aging with dignity and respect for ourselves, how can we expect them to see us that way? As we age, our families become helpful and supportive, or neglectful and critical...

Watching Children Learn How To Lie

Watching Children Learn How To LieThe fear of getting caught is a constant source of anxiety, and when it happens, the damage to one’s reputation can be lasting.

Seeing Sensitivity as a Strength Instead of a Weakness

Seeing Sensitivity as a Strength Instead of a WeaknessOur indigo kids' are deeply committed to be who they came here to be, and that is likely different from anything that has come before them. It may challenge us as parents, teachers, counselors, and adults, but it is our work to help them find their way in this world. Of course, I would be lying if I...

Being and Communicating with The Elders of the Seas

08 11 elders of the sea
From the first day of our trip, we were met by the whales. Although I had been in deep communication with the whales and had received instructions for the structure and practices for the trip in the year prior our journey,  I was still blown away by the magnitude of what we experienced.

When It Comes To Sports, Boys Play Like A Girl

When It Comes To Sports, Boys Play Like A GirlGirls in primary school are just as physically capable as their male classmates, according to our research, taking the sting out of the insult “you play like a girl”.

3 Ways To Help Your Teenage Kids Develop A Healthier Relationship With Alcohol

3 Ways To Help Your Teenage Kids Develop A Healthier Relationship With AlcoholWhat parents say, how they behave and the messages they send to their teenagers can help delay when their teenage kids start drinking, which is critical if they are to avoid the harmful and life-long effects of alcohol on the developing brain.

Are You Hiding? Come Out Come Out Whoever You Are!

Are You Hiding? Come Out Come Out Whoever You Are!A big clue that you’re caught up in the concern for looking good is if you’re burned out, stuck, deadened, resistant, or experiencing a loss of purpose or inner peace. That’s a signal that somewhere in there the real you is missing. When you feel that way, your energy...

Dump Your Parent Issues: They Are Messing Up Your Life!

Dump Your Parent Issues: They Are Messing Up Your Life!Parent issues are some of the worst and most longstanding issues we can have. When children do not have what they need, they spend the rest of their lives trying to change that. After they become adults, their attempts to find those missing pieces can create...

How To Be Yourself and Be Strong in a Sad or Anxious Family

How To Be Yourself and Be Strong in a Sad or Anxious FamilyIt is human to despair, and it is human to worry. But when either of these realities, or both at once, becomes the predom­inant coloration of family life, then you must contend both with your sad and anxious family members and with your own “sympathetic” sadness and anxiety.

How and Why To Make Taking Care of Yourself a Priority

How and Why To Make Taking Care of Yourself a PriorityEverything comes full circle when you make it a priority to take care of yourself. While I know it’s easier said than done, you will definitely reap the benefits almost immediately when you attend to yourself before you attend to others.

Millennial Bashing In Medieval Times: Same Old, Same Old?

Millennial Bashing In Medieval Times: Same Old, Same Old?In Sir Thomas Malory’s ‘Le Morte d'Arthur,’ a character complains that young people are too sexually promiscuous. 14th- and 15th-century texts hold a lesson for the 21st century. Anxieties about “kids these days” are misguided, not because nothing changes, but because historical change cannot be predicted. 

How Parenting Advice Assumes You're White And Middle Class

How Parenting Advice Assumes You're White And Middle ClassWhose advice do you trust when it comes to raising children? For many, the answer is to ask health professionals who can draw on years of experience, and who have access to, and can make sense of, research.

A New Way To Think About Dementia And Sex

A New Way To Think About Dementia And SexPersons living with dementia don’t have sex. Or they have weird sex. Or they have dangerous sex, in need of containment.

How To Have A Satisfying Relationship?

How To Have A Satisfying Relationship?

When Joan Holloway – the bombshell office worker on the show “Mad Men” – enters a room, she knows she looks good and is going to turn heads.

The 3 Parts of Relationship Commitment

The 3 Parts of Relationship CommitmentWhat does it mean to be fully committed in a monogamous relationship? The traditional meaning has to do with focusing your romantic energies only upon your partner. You are not committed if you have “one foot outside the door,” meaning you are still available for romantic relationship with another person.

Letting Go of Inner Conflict and Relationship Baggage

Letting Go of Inner Conflict and Relationship BaggageIt is quite sad to see how many relationship cri­ses today are not about the relationship; they are about thoughts of old relationships. These couples don’t have a chance. They can’t even experience the potential of the new relationship because they aren’t in it.

Why Young People Need Diverse Books

Why Young People Need Diverse BooksAll children need to see inspiring, courageous characters–who look like them–in literature.

Learning To Communicate Honestly With Others

Learning To Communicate Honestly With Others: First Be Honest With YourselfWhat does it take to communicate honestly with other people? First of all, it takes knowing your own mind. But when it comes to communicating honestly with others, knowing yourself isn’t enough. Communicating with others is a skill – but not necessarily a skill we’re born with!

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